Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
TinkerPony · 15/03/2021 06:01

Actually make sure your mom dont pay at all. They will have to deal with you on her behalf. It be a good idea to get quotes from professional trademen over the phone to compare.
Insist that they or he write up their invoice to you as a team or individually legitimately, tax and all.
Bet they dont want to as they been expecting cash in hand. So basically looking for €700 each for a week work.
This is so sickening.
DONT let them get away with this.
Burn them for their dirty deeds.

HoppingPavlova · 15/03/2021 06:07

I guess he is issuing an invoice and she is paying against that? He would then be declaring it.

No way should she be handing over cash.

I don’t understand any of this. Generally partners/DH’s doing this sort of work would only ask for the cost of the paint and any consumable equipment. They would then go around here and there where practical and do chunks of work or mail be look to bump it over on public holidays etc. I’ve never heard of anyone actually charging in this scenario, it’s very odd. What do you find attractive in this man as it’s very hard to imagine from what you have written.

Sahm101 · 15/03/2021 06:07

yanbu agree with everyone else. This is despicable. I couldn't even share breathing space with someone so shameful. What he did was so so wrong!! And to bring travel expenses for his dad into this. I couldn't move past this op.

TinkerPony · 15/03/2021 06:12

Agree with poster above me
And work out cost of parking fees if that was free, access to water for cleaning, loo etc, etc.
Play dirty back at them.
As it all verbal nothing in writing no estimate quote in advance that was even reasonable family rates.
You can refuse to pay.
They were never gonna reasonable in the first place.
Appalled that he even told you to butt out whoa I would have flip and kick him out there and then.
They could not even Be Kind to Your Family.

IndecentCakes · 15/03/2021 06:12

Charging family for painting! I have a particular skill and would certainly never charge my family or my husband's for it. Unbelievable.

EmilyEmmabob · 15/03/2021 06:20

I couldn't be with someone like that. He's shown you his true colours, anyone willing to rip another person off is scum.

He's absolutely not being reasonable. Get rid of him, I couldn't come back from this.

Fieldsofstars · 15/03/2021 06:21

The financial greed would give me the ick. I’d pay them myself whilst giving him his stuff to leave. Disgraceful.

Ellie56 · 15/03/2021 06:29

He says I dont have the right to say what he can and cant charge for as he is the one doing the work but i dont agree with it being my mum.

Er yes you do. It sounds like your mum and dad are vulnerable adults and if you don't step in they are going to be ripped off. Most people would do the bloody work for free for elderly parents and just charge for materials.

Why are you with this knob anyway?

Jobconfused · 15/03/2021 06:37

My first ever LTB goes to you - he’s the twattest of the twats. Pay him and then leave him.

YouAreYourBestThing · 15/03/2021 06:39

OP, just be cautious here for your parents sake. You are quite right in saying that they shouldn't pay that outrageous bill to your KnobHead (hopefully soon to be ex!) partner! Please, please don't let them pay him directly though, as I know from experience that vulnerable, elderly parents often take the road of least resistance, and will just pay up rather than 'make a fuss'.

You go over yourself, WITH KnobHead, and sort out the money, ensuring that they only pay the reduced, fair price! Or don't let him go back and just get them to send the money to you, so that you can pay him. Either way, ensure that he can't coerce or manipulate them into stumping up the £1400 that he clearly thinks he's owed 🤬

Then bin him off! What a twat.

mylovelydd · 15/03/2021 06:41

That would be the end of the relationship for me. I'd probably pay him (minus the travel costs WTF!) and bin him right off

Magnificentmug12 · 15/03/2021 06:42

He isn’t being unreasonable charging for travel and labour from his dad.

He is being unreasonable charging more than what he first stated. You can’t just ass on more, the costs of the half hours and his dads travel should have already been factored in. That’s his loss, next time he needs to factor these things in. You can’t change the price at the end of a job. It’s £10 per full hour worked as that’s the price he gave.

His being a idiot.

Tangogolf55 · 15/03/2021 06:47

He’s a bona fide conman! Wow, I’d be revisiting if I wanted to be with someone like this.

Hydrate · 15/03/2021 06:58

I don't think his fee is ur, but it is grabby. Even if he isn't a professional he did do a lot of work for it, and they didn't have to be exposed to tradespersons in their home during covid. It is rounded off to an hour not minutes in my experience. But he won't ever be named Mr. Wonderful.

houseplantlover · 15/03/2021 07:06

He's not a tradesman he's family and he's being a cheeky fucker. Ripping off an elderly woman in poor health is grounds to LTB imo.

Wowwe · 15/03/2021 07:09

*I honestly can not believe you DH is charging your mum for this work. I would feel ashamed. My DH redesigned my mum's house for her ( he is an architect ) got it though planning and did all the drawing, it equated to £1000s of pounds of work ....he didn't charge her a penny and so he shouldn't. I would never want to be married to someone who thought it acceptable to rip of a family member

This exactly 👆🏻

I would never be with someone that would charge my mum and dad

Avocadorable · 15/03/2021 07:10

My DH of 26 years is a carpenter and I would knock his block off if he charged any of my family for doing work, even by his own pricing he is way over charging her and travel expenses for his dad?????! That is not cool !!!!

Lessthanaballpark · 15/03/2021 07:10

Absolutely awful. You must protect your poor mum from this conman.

Peppafrig · 15/03/2021 07:11

Exactly he isn’t a tradesman he isn’t someone turning down other work to take on this job . If that was the case then sure crack on get some compensation for your time. But it’s your Mum I can’t get over him trying to get as much money as possible out of her. Charging her extra to put up some curtains pole. Fucking curtain poles. If he had to drop off a few things from the shop would be charge them like he was deliveroo. He is just disgusting .

Somethingkindaoooo · 15/03/2021 07:18

OP
He is a cheat.
If your mum wanted to pay him, fine, but as others said, he is cheating her.
This, surely gives you insight into his moral compass. If he cheats your mum, he surely will cheat you eventually too.

@donewithitalltodayandxmas
I can't believe your DH charged his son. Shame

yearinyearout · 15/03/2021 07:19

We got a professional painter and decorator round before xmas, a friend of my husband who charged mates rates. Ceilings and walls emulsioned, 2.5 days = £100.

Quite frankly that's ridiculously cheap. Assuming 8 hour days he was working for £5 an hour. If I was your DH I'd have at least made sure I was paying him minimum wage. Normal rate for tradesmen round here is minimum £100 a day (I'm not suggesting OPs partner is a tradesman btw) but more like £150 a day.

TJ17 · 15/03/2021 07:30

You aren't going to stay with this scum of a man are you?

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 15/03/2021 07:36

Wow, your update is awful! I feel really sorry for your parents and wouldn't be staying in a relationship with that twat!

Cordial11 · 15/03/2021 07:42

Omg! Kick him to the kirb immedietely ! Disgusting behaviour.

How long have you been with this man?

jessycake · 15/03/2021 07:43

I think he would be my ex partner