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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
icedgem85 · 15/03/2021 07:45

He’s gross!! LTB!! Seriously though, that’s despicable behaviour.

shockthemonkey · 15/03/2021 07:45

Sorry, haven't rtft but it's only normal to round up your hour if you travel to a job and it's such a small job that you work for less than an hour in total.

Then you round up to a full hour.

No way do you round up when you've been doing several days' worth of work.

Charge just for the hours worked. No rounding up and certainly not rounding up each day you worked!

Also no charging for travel if it hasn't been agreed.

I wouldn't be so harsh about this last point if my partner were a reasonable person but it doesn't sound as if yours is.

Bluntness100 · 15/03/2021 07:47

God that’s grim, he’s conning your own mother.

Just get what it is sorted, she needs to pay the amount you decide. Tell him to fuck off if he thinks he’s getting more

Then fucking bin this piece of shit. And block him.

Who rips people off like this, but their own girlfriends mother. That’s as grim as it gets.

KaptainKaveman · 15/03/2021 07:48

@BrilliantBetty

This is so sad. I feel sorry for your mum being ripped off by your partner.

On it's own £10 an hour is a good price for decorating... but this isn't what this is. It's him agreeing something and then going back on it. Expecting her to pay what she doesn't owe. Awful behaviour.

No, £10 per hour is appalling. I'd be embarrassed to pay anyone this amount.
Catwoman123 · 15/03/2021 07:52

Woow imagine charging your partners parent..anything I've ever done it was for free or I've only accepted a small token amount or a little gift.
What a dick.

Bananadramallama · 15/03/2021 07:56

Does he have another job? Does he not work I don't understand how if he isn't a painter he has the time to do all this work?

I would leave any partner of mine that could do this. What a vile prick.

I would and have done this for free for family on numerous occasions.

daretodenim · 15/03/2021 07:56

If your parents were millionaires and he did painting for them end charged them for time he didn't work, "rounded up" because they agreed to the estimate etc, I'd have no respect for him. He'd be treating them like fools, their money like his and essentially stealing. I'd question his integrity.

That your mother is a carer to your sick father, living in HA house (so I'm guessing here they're not secret millionaires 😉) it's horrific. He is on the make from an older, vulnerable person who is his girlfriend's mother.

He's stealing from your mother, on top of charging her in the first place when it's not even his line of work. I could understand paying his experienced father to help, but not him. I could also understand not paying his father, but covering travel costs. I could understand ordering them takeout and getting them some beers at the end of the day etc.

OP he has no respect for your mother. None. And you need to understand what that says about his respect for you.

Clangerschick · 15/03/2021 07:56

Yes tell her. And tell her your leaving him or chucking him out at the same time. We’ve never charged family for anything and help each other out all the time. What a throughly horrible man and by staying with him you’d be condoning what he’s done and telling him it’s an acceptable thing to do.

Sceptre86 · 15/03/2021 07:57

Ltb, your man is a waste of space if he can rip off your mum, imagine what he would do to some other vulnerable old woman who doesn't have a good understanding of how much these things cost.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/03/2021 07:59

He isn’t being unreasonable charging for travel and labour from his dad.

He is when his dad - initially brought in for the very skilled job of plastering - din't have a job to do because the plastering had been completed already, and apparently sat on his backside all day (possibly occasionally piping up with "You've missed a bit.")

KaptainKaveman · 15/03/2021 07:59

@Lleeaahh1992

Update, he has just come in after finishing work there, i said to him have u give my mum the quote yet an he looked all sheepish and said yes i said what is it , he said 1400, i said no way are u charging her 1400 its alot less an he got all angry saying well theres still a few hours work to do tomorrow and she wants curtain poles ect putting up so altogether its about 1400 i said have you even worked it out an he said no but its about that and she agreed to that at the start, i said no you estimated that but said you would only charge for hours worked, so i have just worked out the hours with the rounding up half hours and it comes to 780 pound then 230 for materials. So i have said no way are you charging her that an he just kept saying but this but that making excuses saying normal companies would charge 2 grand ect ect. She got 3 bedrooms done, the upstairs and downstairs hallway, small toilet and all the woodwork glossed. She didnt get the kitchen as the housing done that and she didnt get her living room as that is where my dad is in his bed and she doesnt want him disturbed. I am furious and my mum has apparently agreed to pay this no questions asked. Should i tell my mum?
This really isn't an especially large sum - I don't know why everyone is so aghast.

Most of the painters/decorators we have used over the years have a daily rate of at least £200 - plus materials - and no way do they work ten hours. I don't really know what planet half the people on this thread live on...

daretodenim · 15/03/2021 08:04

Most of the painters/decorators we have used over the years have a daily rate of at least £200 - plus materials - and no way do they work ten hours. I don't really know what planet half the people on this thread live on...

True. But then he's neither a painter nor a decorator. He's seen a way to get money and he's not bothered about ripping off (charging for hours not worked, aside from charging in the first place) from his girlfriend's elderly mother.

PPs who are professionals and their partners have said they'd not behave like this with their partner's mother. So it's fair to say that there's no ounce of professionalism anywhere in what he's done.

JSL52 · 15/03/2021 08:06

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

Phone the police and have him removed from your house tonight. How the fuck can you be calm about this?
Why would the police get involved in an argument about bills ?
OneForTheJourney · 15/03/2021 08:06

You've said he's not a a tradesmen, this isn't his job. He's being a very cheeky f**ker in my opinion. What does he do for work?

Almost actually trades charge per job. That way they can do longer days when needed or finish early if they need to and nobody feels hard done by!

Soontobe60 · 15/03/2021 08:10

What a shit he is! Just tell him fine, go ahead, but we need an invoice and will be letting the tax office know.
Your DM should only pay him for what was agreed, ie the hours he’s worked, and not pay his DF for travel.

ChancesWhatChances · 15/03/2021 08:15

How could you let your own partner treat your parents like this Sad

houseplantlover · 15/03/2021 08:21

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

HE LITERALLY THINKS he can rob your parents in front of you and you’ll just be fine with it? How can you even look at this sack fo shit? How can he think you have this little self respect? How can you even be having a conversation with him?
THIS! fucking bin him
Sassysally12 · 15/03/2021 08:24

Send him this thread OP! He’s had the cheek to argue back with you the money grabbing tramp, send him this and let him genuinely see how bad it is what he’s done!! Tell him you will be paying what you have worked out and that you are done

LuaDipa · 15/03/2021 08:27

This man is disgusting. Yes a professional painter could charge £200 per day, but because they are professional they would get a lot done over those days. My dh has often helped my dm with various jobs but would never charge her. He wouldn’t even let her buy the takeaway that we all have when we visit. I honestly couldn’t be with someone who would treat my dm like this.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 15/03/2021 08:27

It's largely irrelevant how old the client (OP's Mum) is, that she's a carer, or that he's charging for the work rather than doing it for free. This is about her DP going against the agreement so that the job costs more. That is not on at all.

@Lleeaahh1992, however you handle this I feel as though it's the beginning of the end of your relationship with your DP, so you may as well stand your ground and get him to stick to the agreement. Tell your Mum, and try and convince her to only pay what was agreed. Does she (or you) have anything in writing, even just a text saying what he was going to charge?

Eleganz · 15/03/2021 08:27

Why didn't the HA paint?

If he has painted the entire house and done a good job £1400 has saved your mum a significant amount of money compared to getting a decorator in. Painting an entire house is a very big job.

However, as others have said most people would do that kind of decorating on the weekends for cups of tea and a sandwich for close family members, but then again that may be the odd room at a time not a whole house.

Did he do a good job?

lothermand · 15/03/2021 08:28

I always look at it this way, IF someone is turning actual work down to do a favour, then yes you should pay them. His dad is RETIRED, and it sounds like your 'D' P was not losing paid work. They are a PAIR of CFs!!

I'd have no respect for my partner if he charged my kids/parents. It was THREE days, and it sounds like it could've been fitted around work (if that was the case) but for what you're saying, they were probably adding hours on. They probably drew it out to get more money..robbing bastardsAngryAngryAngry

FuckyouCovid21 · 15/03/2021 08:37

Fucking hell, I cannot believe what I've just read! I cannot believe he's charging her in the first place, especially as it's not his trade, my ex DP was an electrician and he re-wired mum's house for nothing and did lots of other electrical jobs for nothing (apart from what mum forced on him afterwards i.e. a bottle of something). I regularly do work for family too and I wouldn't dream of charging them.

I'm sorry OP but your partner sounds bloody awful

NoseinBook3 · 15/03/2021 08:40

It’s a no from me. I’d also be asking him to pack his bags

notacooldad · 15/03/2021 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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