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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
HollaHolla · 15/03/2021 01:02

What a nasty bastard. Charge for his costs - fine/expected; charge £1400 - rip the arse out of it.

Sassysally12 · 15/03/2021 01:29

How can your relationship go any further from here? Like seriously, he has completely and utterly disrespected you and your parents. Of course she agreed to pay it, she was probably mortified! Imagine your daughter UNTRAINED boyfriend decorating your house for you and charging £1400?!! You would choke!! Honestly read him his riot acts, pay the amount you have worked it out to be and call it a day. How would your mum ever look at him the same again, how would you ever look at his dad again? Baring in mind this is extra money on the side, so he’s just showing his greed. There is no going forward from this. If he carries on with his bullshit say you will take him to a small claims court and see if the judge agrees that all tradesmen charge an hour for ten minutes work. Fucking liar

billy1966 · 15/03/2021 01:38

Your poor parents thinking they were getting someone they could trust.

Talk about the absolute dregs.

No wonder you are upset, seeing him very clearly I hope.
Flowers

ChronicallyCurious · 15/03/2021 01:54

Ask your Mum to pay you what you’ve worked it out as and then hand your boyfriend that. Do not let her give him any cash as he will clearly rip her off. Then tell him to fuck off.

Peppafrig · 15/03/2021 01:55

It’s like him and dad have decided to drain your Mum for every penny going. Rubbing their hands together with glee at the east money. There is no going back from this OP.

Blacktothepink · 15/03/2021 02:03

What the absolute fuck!!! How on earth can you be with such an utter cunt?????

WisnaeMe · 15/03/2021 02:03

@ChronicallyCurious

Ask your Mum to pay you what you’ve worked it out as and then hand your boyfriend that. Do not let her give him any cash as he will clearly rip her off. Then tell him to fuck off.

Very good idea 🎉

do THIS OP 🌺

Torvean · 15/03/2021 02:12

Your partner sounds mean. Since the plastering was done he didn't need his dad.
He chose to involve his dad so your partner should pay him. Especially travel charges which I bet your mum knew nothing about..Ge also can't claim to be paid when he kept work. That's not a done thing. In some jobs its a sackable offence as it's dishonest.

If my partner tried to do that to my dad I don't think I'd stay with him any more.

Torvean · 15/03/2021 02:13
  • He can't claim when he left work early. ( typos)
Nenevalleykayaker · 15/03/2021 02:13

Painting 3 bedrooms, 2 hallways and all woodwork for £1400 sounds expensive, but not by much. Family rate £500 would have been acceptable.

Your mother always has the option of not actually paying him until he presents a more realistic quote, particularly as their verbal agreement isn’t legally binding.

Tradesmen do round up the hour. They also charge for travel costs incurred.
He isn’t a tradesman however.

Suggest your mother requests an invoice from him, pays by cheque, then a receipt for tax reasons. Observe his quote then instantly reduce by a third, for cash payment only.

Field some quick quotes from local professionals. You won’t find much cheaper than a grand for that work I expect.

Shnuffles · 15/03/2021 02:27

I'd stand up for my parents, in whatever way you think will be most effective, even if that means contacting police or taking legal action.

Once it's over and he's been paid a fair amount for the number of hours actually worked, I'd tell him that the way he's treated your family has killed your love for him (assuming it has) and be done with him. That's not how a good man behaves toward his partner's elderly parents.

Kapalika · 15/03/2021 02:30

Remember you’ve got to share a bed with this man.

This is something that would weigh on me and eventually I would despise him.

BusBuster · 15/03/2021 02:58

I thought 1400 was for plastering. So he didn't need that.
10 per hour is what you agreed, no plastering needed.
So if it takes him a week, all he needs to do it write the hours and part hours down, total these and round to the nearest half hour or hour if he's that petty and crazy.
You can't just take 7 days and round every day up after doing 10mins of an hour, or round a part day up to 10hrs.

He sounds awful.
I'm all for getting some extra cash and don't think people have to do things for free but the terms were £10 p/h and only charging for his time worked, not travel for his dad, who doesn't even need to be there.

I assume he's dumped after this joke? I'd never trust him again.

avamiah · 15/03/2021 03:15

I had to read the OP’s post 3 times just to check what I was reading was correct as I thought I must of missed something .
I’m a regular on here and have been so for many years so I don’t mind if I get temporary banned for posting my Opinion .

hannayeah · 15/03/2021 03:17

“Normal” companies also bid jobs, are licensed, pull permits to work, are bonded and insured and pay taxes.

Normal partner don’t look at you’re aging mother as a source of income.

I would leave someone over this massive difference in values.

hannayeah · 15/03/2021 03:18

I can’t apparently type or spell any longer. But hopefully what I wrote can be read!

avamiah · 15/03/2021 03:24

Unless you have totally lost your mind and the love for your family and your self respect then I suggest you tell that scum bag who you call a partner that he and his partner in crime ( father) is taking advantage of your mum and dad and that you have posted this on MN .
We mums don’t like to hear about anybody being taken advantage of especially the elderly and vulnerable .
I will be reporting this .

Eviethyme · 15/03/2021 03:40

Your partner sounds deluded but how dare he charge your mum that much. Sorry but he's a twat and your enabling him to treat your own mum like shit.

There is no way I would let my husband do that to my family. Where's family rates???
I hired a painter and decorator at £12 per hour so why is he charging his own MIL so much???

Babyjune21 · 15/03/2021 04:00

This makes me cringe , I could never ever be with my a man like your husband sounds harsh but what the hell ? Your mum and dad aren’t in a great place and he wants money off them for “helping” I’d be ashamed of him if he was my husband truly ashamed !, I’m not saying oh my husband this and that but maybe you don’t know what I real mans like and your putting up with it ? When I met my husband we bought a house after 4 months of knowing each other , he made sure that
My sick mother moved in with us and made sure her room was done up for the date she moved in , he even held her hand on her death bed 9months later. If I was you I’d want better for myself and my family

avamiah · 15/03/2021 04:02

Who knows if this post is real or fake as many people come on here and post things because they are idiots, bored and possibly mentally unwell.
However this post is not something we should take lightly as in my opinion OP is describing her parents being taken advantage of for financial gain by a person or persons that are very well known to her.
This is called Elder Abuse.
I’ve reported this post, please do the same .
This could happen to your relative or loved one next .

FiveGs · 15/03/2021 04:19

This would be making me look at my partner with new eyes tbh and not in a good way. Do you want to be with somebody long term who behaves in this way?

londonscalling · 15/03/2021 05:22

Is it cash in hand? Make him declare it!!!

midnightstar66 · 15/03/2021 05:51

Wow, she could have got an actual business person for the money she's paid out. That's shocking your partner charging all that to your mum. He's your partner and that's your mum. I'd expect him to charge for materials and petrol at the most. However my exes are exes for a reason but not one of them would have charged a penny for that outside of the cost of paint. I'm really shocked!

TinkerPony · 15/03/2021 05:53

TELL your mum she is being rip off.
Are they living in housing association can it be reported to them re Elder Abuse or police.
Not a professional trademan / painter how dare charge full rate.
Pull in his father as partner in crime who was not needed after all and not even local feck that, shame on him.
Is his father same age or younger than your parents?
Is this bastard and his father not working so not declaring freelance self employed work with an employee to assist him.
Threat to report them both and dont pay cash. Then get rid of this nasty pair.

It just human nature to help out families in need. It should have just been materials to be paid for.
Did your mom feed them and provide tea biscuits etc i bet she did.
And this what they do. Rip her off to the hilt while in poor health looking after your father. Absolutely disgusting.
I hope you dump him please.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/03/2021 06:00

Has your mum been feeding them/ giving them cups of tea etc?

Add these up and "good" charge cafe prices for refreshments.

As others have said, for this price your mum could have got a professional decorator, a better job, had it done more quickly and known it was well done.

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