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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
MessagesKeepGettingClearer · 14/03/2021 23:52

My partner would never dream of charging my mum. They're taking the piss. Don't let them.

Troublewaters2021 · 14/03/2021 23:55

This is really sad, my DP would never charge my mum for his time if it was going spare.

He is not even a painter. Is he going to pay tax on this money ?

boobot1 · 15/03/2021 00:01

@Lleeaahh1992

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

I would dump him.
Lalaloopsieloo · 15/03/2021 00:01

WTF? How long have you been with him? I’d be kicking him to the curb.

WidowTwonky · 15/03/2021 00:05

Did he take time off work to do this?

AlrightTreacle · 15/03/2021 00:08

Good God, get rid!

He's bad enough for ripping off someone in the first place by being dishonest about the hours he's put in, never mind someone who is in poor health and is a carer for someone who is bed bound, the fact that they are your parents makes it unforgiveable.

I couldn't imagine quoting my boyfriends parents for a job, or my boyfriend doing something for mine and expecting payment. He would offer to do it for free and wouldn't dream of drawing up quotes!

ForwardRanger · 15/03/2021 00:09

@Thatwentbadly

That’s a lot of work. It took 15 days for a professional painter to paint my playroom, large kitchen/dinning room, hallway, bathroom and one bedroom. He didn’t always do full days but he was charging for the job. It’s normal for a painter and decorator to charge per job.

I would be seriously reconsidering my relationship with your bf.

Your painter was incredibly slow! I had my house painted interior and exterior, 3 bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, dining, livong, laundry etc, in 3 days
Daddynotmummy · 15/03/2021 00:12

Why is he not doing FOC? I don't charge my parents for work at there house, so definitely wouldn't charge my in-laws. Isn't that what families do? BTW I'm a qualified electrician but do all manner of jobs to help. He is taking the piss.

Madwife123 · 15/03/2021 00:16

£10 an hour each for someone unqualified to do the work! I recently paid a highly experienced decorator £10 an hour for a perfectly professional finish and he didn’t charge for travel or time not worked and fitted the work into my schedule. Your partner is ripping your mum off in more ways than one. I couldn’t continue a relationship with someone able to treat my vulnerable family members this way!

panickingpat · 15/03/2021 00:19

Tell your Mam to pay him by cheque Wink

SozzledSausage · 15/03/2021 00:19

Absolutely dreadful. I feel really sorry for your Mum and Dad. Your Dad is bed bound in the lounge and he thinks it's okay to charge full whack.

He's pretty heartless and money grabbing, isn't he? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this man? I feel embarassed for you.

AIMD · 15/03/2021 00:27

That’s not ok.

Ok I wouldn’t necessarily expect him to do that amount of work for free if he was fixing up other work while doing it and needed the money.

But he’s actually over charging her too!!! No way.

I have never paid travel expenses for any tradesman I’ve used.

I’d find it really hard to stay with someone willing to treat my parents this way. I hope you don’t do anything free for him. Start charging him when you make dinner, or wash up ...

AIMD · 15/03/2021 00:29

Is he planning to declare this as earning too, if he’s treating it like a proper job.

Rollmopsrule · 15/03/2021 00:31

But he's not a professional. A proper tradesman would not have needed two people for 10 days to do that amount of work. Give him the amount of money you worked it out as and please dump him.

AlrightTreacle · 15/03/2021 00:34

I only started keeping track of the start and finish times as on the first day he done 9 hours and said well i have earned 100 pound upto now as ill just charge for the 10 hour day because i have done loads an i said no you cant do that. So i have kept track since then.

Based on this, I'm assuming that your partner is unemployed and/or the type of man who does f all around the house, and when he does do something as strenuous as empty the dishwasher he makes sure to mention that he's "emptied the dishwasher to help you out" (because he doesn't have any responsibility for where he lives does he Hmm) and wants a pat on the back for his very hard work. Just assuming this, but I'd bet good money on it.

Peppafrig · 15/03/2021 00:35

I don’t think because your a tradesperson you should automatically do free jobs for family members. My husband had to put a stop to that . He was out working on someone’s house every bloody weekend . Then when he asked people for money for the materials he had to buy they would screw their faces up and think it was all free. He just says no now to everyone . I hate the attitude that if your family member is a tradesperson they should just give up all their free time for nothing . Obviously this isn’t the case in the OP and your husband is a cheeky fucker.

Yaya26 · 15/03/2021 00:40

@Parentpower20

£10 an hour seems incredibly cheap to me for this kind of work so I can’t see how he was trying to cheat her.
Not really. I've had good proper painters who charge less.

My husband is a proper hard working, qualified, highly skilled self employed joiner/roofer with over 25 years experience and if charging per hour it usually is between £13 and £15.

OP Id advise your mum in future to get a price for jobs - rather than an hourly rate. 10 days seems a very long time unless she's living in South Fork.

saffire · 15/03/2021 00:44

Start charging him for cleaning his shitty pants and cooking his dinner and see it he likes being conned!
I take it this is all cash in hand and he's not paying tax or NI? Obviously not working otherwise he wouldn't have time to do it.

Defmy · 15/03/2021 00:48

He's a crook. It's as simple as that.

He's trying to take money that doesn't belong to him. Bad enough. From an elderly person. Worse. From a member of your family. There are no words!

Anordinarymum · 15/03/2021 00:49

OP your partner is a dick and you are also a dick for allowing him to charge your mum a penny for helping her.

What is wrong with these people ??

Defmy · 15/03/2021 00:50

don’t think because your a tradesperson you should automatically do free jobs for family members

Neither do I. I think most people here agree. However there are nice people out there who would help out their partner's mum (it's not even his trade) but it wouldn't make him nasty if he charged fairly for his time.

MNWorldisCrazy · 15/03/2021 00:52

@greeneyedlulu

What kind of arsehole have you married? Pull him up on it immediately!
Where did OP say they were married?
wishes1111 · 15/03/2021 00:52

My Husband is an electrician.

Any work he does for family or friends that doesn't require a day off from his business is paid for by a bottle of wine or a few bottles of beers.

Your Husband is a CF, sorry.

Peppafrig · 15/03/2021 00:52

Should have said that in previous post I said my DH now doesn’t do work for anyone but he would still do work for parents at no cost always.

Peppafrig · 15/03/2021 00:59

@Defmy

don’t think because your a tradesperson you should automatically do free jobs for family members

Neither do I. I think most people here agree. However there are nice people out there who would help out their partner's mum (it's not even his trade) but it wouldn't make him nasty if he charged fairly for his time.

Totally agree my husband would never charge parents . He did do some work for my cousin once and the materials for her job were over £400 trade price. That was the only money he took from her . She went around telling everyone he had charged her the going rate and she thought it was mates rates. Even though he was there 4 weekends and never got a penny for it. In fact he lost money as he had to turn down overtime to do it. Some people are unbelievable.
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