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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
AWhisperWillDoIfThatsAllYouCan · 14/03/2021 23:08

@ittakes2

But he is not a professional. He's doing it to help his partner's family. No overheads. No insurance. No taxes. It's a member of the family painting his PIL house to help them. And he's charging double the hours he worked, plus adding in travel costs of his dad which were not discussed and approved beforehand.

Theunamedcat · 14/03/2021 23:09

@ittakes2

I am bucking the trend - while I completely agree he shouldn’t round up his time or charge travel and my hubby wouldn’t charge my mum...£10 an hour is very very cheap for painting. Let him charge her and then pay her back if you want to keep the peace
But he isnt working the time paid?
pumpkinbump · 14/03/2021 23:10

If a partner of mine wanted to charge my mother for painting I'd tell him to get lost and pay someone else to do it.

ScreamingBeans · 14/03/2021 23:11

Also the fact that he's willing to treat your mum like this, says quite a bit about how he feels about you.

namechange63524 · 14/03/2021 23:12

This would put me off a partner. He is conning your mum. Horrid thing to do.

Anydreamwilldo12 · 14/03/2021 23:14

Your partner is disgusting . He is ripping your parents off so blatently and you damn well know it. Tell him he will get what he's earned and no more then have a serious think about whether you want to continue a relationships with a nasty scumbag.

lioncitygirl · 14/03/2021 23:15

He is disgusting. Cheating your own mother?! Fucking vile. I would be thinking twice about why the hell I was with someone like that. He’s cheating your mother!

notacooldad · 14/03/2021 23:16

Let him charge her and then pay her back if you want to keep the peace
There we go!
We dont want the men upset now do we. Let's bend over backwards to be quiet keep the peace and let them screw us over without a sound!

Seriously? Let him charge and pay back.
To use my new favourite saying 'that's as mad as a wax banana!!'

areyoumeop · 14/03/2021 23:19

does he/you need the money. If not i would pay my mother back the money . DP does a lot for others , not pro but very good diyer and wouldn't think of charging for his time , a cuppa and a chocolate biscuit is payment enough.notallowedtoworkforfriendwhoofferstradesmenpaymnetinkind

areyoumeop · 14/03/2021 23:21

missed a bit - pay my mother back and get rid.

VettiyaIruken · 14/03/2021 23:21

How can you even stand to remain in a relationship with this man? He's a scumbag, trying to rip off your mum!

Gra18 · 14/03/2021 23:21

I would be mortified if I was you. I cannot even imagine my partner charging my parents like this. I certainly would be considering my relationship.
I can only hope this thread is a wind up.

Damnrightwrong · 14/03/2021 23:26

Good on you for stepping in. He is vile.

Tell him he needs to revise his quote or he can use his 'wages' to find somewhere else to live and not to bother darkening your doorway again.

Speechless!

SummerWhisper · 14/03/2021 23:26

It's not the fact that it's £10 per hour, that's clouding the issue. It's the fact that it's taken that pair of con merchants 10+ days to do the equivalent of 5 rooms at what should be 1 day per room. He's been faffing about to hike up the price. Absolute scumbag thieves. Give him £500 then kick out his thieving arse. If you stay with him after this, what else will you allow him to get away with?

TravelGem · 14/03/2021 23:34

You 100% need to tell your mother!!
How can you look her in the eye knowing your partner has ripped her off by approx £400 when she's caring for your sick father!!

If he really cared about you or you'd family a) he wouldn't have charged so much
b) he wouldn't make your mother pay his fathers travel
c) once you raised the point he would have cut his losses knowing he'd been unreasonable

The fact he doesn't seem to care shows he doesn't truly care about you or your family!!
It's family even if you do agree on prices before hand you do your best to bring it in under budget you don't make up excuses to get the full pay

Cocomarine · 14/03/2021 23:34

I don’t understand why your latest question is should I tell my mum, not should I dump him. Though you shouldn’t even need to ask that.

I think it’s fine to charge family - not everyone’s financial circumstances are such that they don’t have to. £10 an hour in my area (not London) would be a bargain so I think asking for travel would be fair - but only if agreed in advance.

Absolutely tell your mum that he’s lying about the hours worked. I’m guessing she’ll feel awkward and pay it anyway.

And tell her you’ve dumped him.

Why wouldn’t you?

panickingpat · 14/03/2021 23:34

You don't pay someone to get to the job. It's up to them to get to and from work.

£10 for a full hour is ok although still a bit steep if not a business.
Tell your mam to refuse the travel costs and also the odd 10 mins.
Lastly find a decent bloke who will treat his possible future in laws with respect.

pabloescobarselasticband · 14/03/2021 23:35

What sort of person even charges family let alone rips them off!

Ftbhere · 14/03/2021 23:38

Can't believe he is charging your mum for it. He should be helping out and not trying to charge extra. I am sorry, but he sounds like a terrible person to be doing this. I wouldn't be happy if my husband even hinted at it.

RickiTarr · 14/03/2021 23:39

So after he’s finished ripping off his own partner’s mum, will this prince of a man amateur be paying tax on these earnings?

notapizzaeater · 14/03/2021 23:40

I'd dump him for this, he's charging her well over the £10 hour he'd told her, you could have got a professional in fir this who would have probably have been faster and not leave a bad taste.

My b-in-l did days of works for me this summer incl driving 60 miles here as DH was ill, cost ? Afternoon tea and a box of chocs. I was willing to pay there is no way in hell he would have accepted any money.

agonyauntie2020 · 14/03/2021 23:40

I've lost my mum. You'll want to stand up for her now, or you'll think about it later.
Your partner sounds like an arse.
Sorry, I never say stuff like that but taking advantage of elderly people is horrible, and taking advantage of his partner's mum is doubly so.

greeneyedlulu · 14/03/2021 23:43

What kind of arsehole have you married? Pull him up on it immediately!

SkiingIsHeaven · 14/03/2021 23:48

Let him charge her then give her back the overpayment with telling him.

mathanxiety · 14/03/2021 23:51

Are you assuming the OP will ever see a penny of that money?

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