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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
Saz12 · 14/03/2021 22:39

Your partner is a prick.

Redecorating 3 bedrooms? Paint and materials would cost max £200, let’s be generous and round it up and call it £400 (!!!), so is he saying it took him 100 hours???? So that’s filling (2 hours), sanding (10 hours), sugar soap (2 hours), masking and cutting in and gloss (15 hours) and roller for the rest (5 hours). Then a second coat.

There’s no way he can have taken 100 hours, unless your Mum lives in Downtown and he was hand-painting Chinoiserie wallpaper as part of the deal.

excelledyourself · 14/03/2021 22:41

He's awful. I hope you don't have kids together because you'll likely be f####d for getting maintenance out of him

Theluggagerules · 14/03/2021 22:41

I would actually leave him over that, it's your mum he's ripping off and he thinks he's entitled. That kind of attitude disgusts me

GeorgiaMcGraw · 14/03/2021 22:44

Your partner is ripping your mum off and trying to convince you to be his accomplice by demanding you don't talk to your mum. I would say stop him from doing any more work, pay what is owed (not his inflated figure) and dump him. He does not respect you or your family, and he is clearly very greedy. What possible future can you have with him?

AWhisperWillDoIfThatsAllYouCan · 14/03/2021 22:47

Aside from the current issue, you have learned that he is a dishonest little shit. When are you leaving him? Have you packed his stuff, or will he he doing that himself?

thegreylady · 14/03/2021 22:47

My dsil is a plumber/heating engineer and if he does jobs for us he won’t take a penny for the time worked. We pay trade prices for materials. He calls it ‘mum’s rates’. We try to pay back in other ways like a case of good wine delivered.

Honeyroar · 14/03/2021 22:48

He’s being dreadfully unfair and completely milking your poor mum. I’d be livid too. It would be an absolute dealbreaker. And for him to insist that his dad gets paid for travel as he’s going to a lot of trouble, yet can’t think for a second of your parents. He’s disgusting.

Desertislanddreamer · 14/03/2021 22:48

Oh my god this is so disgusting. Why are you even having these conversations with him? He’d be straight out the door after treating my mum like that Shock

Nith · 14/03/2021 22:49

A tradesman doing this regularly would be much quicker, therefore if he were charging the same hourly rate it would come out much cheaper.

Also, a tradesman is probably normally working a straight number of hours a day; he will normally only ever do less than an hour if he finishes the job early or the householder asks him to stop for some reason. Knocking off half an hour or more every day and charging for the whole hour is really taking the piss.

BrilliantBetty · 14/03/2021 22:51

Please dump this dickhead.

Your poor mum. Hope they've at least done a good job.

NYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYN · 14/03/2021 22:51

He's a horrible man

AWhisperWillDoIfThatsAllYouCan · 14/03/2021 22:52

Remind him that normal companies charge more because they have overheads and tax to pay. He's putting all of this on his pocket.
Telling you that his dad planned to charge for the 10 hours every day, even though he only worked half that, and his face falling when you said no just shows you what sort of people they are. He knew he didnt need his dad there. Has anyone been supervising them? How long have they taken for breaks? Were they both actually working all those hours they were there?
No. They planned this. Saw her as an easy mark. They're doing less work than originally discussed, but he's sticking to what he said it would be with the plastering.

Both he and his dad are disgusting.

WisnaeMe · 14/03/2021 22:52

Yeah it's your Mum and Dad I feel for... being ripped off by someone considered a partner by their own daughter

2pinkginsplease · 14/03/2021 22:56

Omg what a prick!

I’d be livid.

My dh is a tradesman and has done work to help out my mum and also my uncle and would never dream of charging them. That’s what family do!

I would be reviewing my relationship with him! Disgusting behaviour, .

SummerWhisper · 14/03/2021 23:00

Your partner is a thief. It sounds like he faffed away and the work rolled over day into day, clocking up all those hours. It takes about a day per room, maybe a little longer. What a thieving scumbag. It's best to stick up for your mum now, as this relationship is going nowhere.

notdaddycool · 14/03/2021 23:01

I wouldn’t be charging them at all but if he’s short of money and didn’t take paid work that was available to do this charging is just about ok, but I’d be charging more like £50 a day and not travel etc. Don’t pay and get rid of him, not a nice person.

mathanxiety · 14/03/2021 23:01

Your partner is proposing robbery of your own mother.

He should not have even thought about charging for the work. He is not a professional. The most your mum should pay is cost of materials.

I would kick him out over this, frankly.

cakewench · 14/03/2021 23:03

This is outrageous OP.

FWIW I can imagine my mum wanting to pay him ‘something’, but him charging this amount, and making the claims he’s done, sounds awful.

I’m so sorry.

SummerWhisper · 14/03/2021 23:04

Tell your mum it's £500 then chuck him out and never take him back. He is abusive. This is robbery. I fucking hate him.

ittakes2 · 14/03/2021 23:05

I am bucking the trend - while I completely agree he shouldn’t round up his time or charge travel and my hubby wouldn’t charge my mum...£10 an hour is very very cheap for painting. Let him charge her and then pay her back if you want to keep the peace

Teapotsandtablecloths · 14/03/2021 23:07

Hes a CF. I'd be fuming if my DH charged my parents for doing decorating for them.

ScreamingBeans · 14/03/2021 23:07

He keeps talking about what's "normal".

But this isn't normal. It's your mum. Who is elderly and a carer.

He's not a decent person is he. I think you know the answer to this, it's not just that he's ripping your mum off, it's that you need to dump this man, he's horrible.

thosetalesofunexpected · 14/03/2021 23:08

I think your Partner should have done this for free as a favour or Only charge the least amount as reasonable for materials.

I don't agree with his attitude, especially if your mother is in poor health,and i assume she proberly on low income such as state pension .

ScreamingBeans · 14/03/2021 23:08

Let him charge her and then pay her back if you want to keep the peace

But why would you want to keep the peace?

Dump him. He's horrible.

Aardvarkitsabloodyaardvark · 14/03/2021 23:08

Op get rid.
Your poor Mum is probably thinking she has no choice but to pay what he says. He's absolutely cringe worthy that he thinks this is OK.

Just so you know if you earn over £1000 in a year you need to inform HMRC and do a tax return.