To feed my 1 year old outside

[Dandylioness1]

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

Firstly, a massive well done for not letting your friend get the better of you. To still be breastfeeding at 13 months is a fantastic achievement.

Secondly, you have every right to feed whenever and wherever you feel is appropriate. It wouldn't bother me to see an older baby breastfeeding in the park.

As a mum to an almost 2 year old who is still breastfed, I understand how difficult it can be to say no. I haven't fed my daughter in public for a while and if she asked now, I'd probably try and distract her, but I wouldn't refuse her if she was determined.

Don't worry about what others think and do what you feel is right for your baby. It's lovely to see women who normalise breastfeeding beyond the first few months.

He's 13 months old, he's tiny!! Of course you should feed him out and about. People who frown at that are totally out of touch with what babies are, and what babies need. Feed him with pride.

@rainbowandglitter

Did you carry snacks like a banana or anything? When ds was 13 months we wouldn't have stopped for milk (regardless of whether it was formula or breast). By that age they are fully weaned onto food so I'd expect snacks to be given rather than milk in the day.

@rainbowandglitter

Yes, but he was asking for milk so that’s what I gave him.

[quote Dandylioness1]@Wondermule

They recommend it because of third world countries not having the safe facilities to make formula. Another MN myth to guilt trip mums!

Are you a troll? Because that’s just how you come across in all of your replies.

You claim to have breasted your child, claim to have had a pleasant experience, yet all you seem to be doing is finding negative things to say about breastfeeding.

If you did breastfeed then you clearly didn’t do a lot of research into it.

Breastmilk never loses its qualities. It’s recommended for its wonderful health benefits!!!
That’s not a myth, that’s a scientific fact.[/quote]
Why am I a troll? I have acknowledged breast milk is the best source of milk for babies. I’ve acknowledged that the fact bfing toddlers makes me a bit 🤢 is my problem.

But it is also true that the health benefits of breastfeeding past the tiny baby stage are absolutely minuscule, you simply cannot tell who was bf as a child/adult and who wasn’t. Bfing is also linked to having allergies.

On MN the benefits are never quantified, and breast milk is made out to be some kind of kryptonite or something. Which inevitably leads to a lot of upset new mums that can’t breastfeed. It’s important to keep it in proportion.

As for the emotional/bonding side, there’s no evidence bf babies have closer bonds with their mothers or that they’re more emotionally stable.

I just want people to be a little more factual and bit less emotional about bfing on this site, it’s a good thing to do but nowhere near beneficial enough for new mums to get PND about it.

It seems like anyone that says anything other than ‘u go hun’ is seen as some kind of evil troll whereas I’m the one stating facts.

YANBU

To still be breastfeeding at 13 months is a fantastic achievement.

don't be ridiculous. It's a choice, but no need to start giving out medals.

(I DID breastfeed. 4 kids. I am in a very good position to say that BF mothers are in no way superior, better or different from any other mother).

A 13 months old is not a tiny baby, he's a TODDLER. The tiny stage is long gone. Most of them have teeth too!

Your friends an idiot.

DC1 - would have screamed until he was sick at that age being denied boob. No snack in the world would have placated him. By 15months he was over that but still fed He also couldn't walk until 20 months.

DC2 I'm still feeding at 27months but she's easily distracted so I don't think I've fed her in public since 12 months.

On MN the benefits are never quantified, and breast milk is made out to be some kind of kryptonite or something.

I don’t think this is what you meant to say

Breastmilk never loses its qualities. It’s recommended for its wonderful health benefits!!!
That’s not a myth, that’s a scientific fact.

why do posters confuse their opinion with scientific facts

Those of you saying that 13 month olds don't need breast milk do you only feed your children what they need?

And how do you define this need? What they need to survive? What they need to stay well? What they need to be happy and content?

Actually I tell a lie. I fed her last summer (so about 20mobths) in a cafe when a mother with a tiny baby was getting flustered and worried about feeding in public.

I'm still feeding at 27months

it's ok to start talking in YEARS you know... You don't keep them as newborn babies however hard you try. Poor kid.

@dotdashdashdash

Actually I tell a lie. I fed her last summer (so about 20mobths) in a cafe when a mother with a tiny baby was getting flustered and worried about feeding in public.

Ah that’s actually awesome!

@Growuppeople

Boob boob 🤢

Get a life.

You are definitely not being unreasonable here. All children are different, two of mine were happy to have limited breastfeed at this age, one needed on demand until they were four. It is simply a question of what works for you and your little one.
Unfortunately a lot of people have a very outdated /limited view after 12 months.

I understand it's essential to say "no" to children when appropriate but also think 13 months is young to understand they should accept a snack or water if it's milk they'd like. I know my toddler was never keen on any snacks really until a bit later. They'd eat three meals a day but preferred milk as a snack. I suppose I could have enforced weaning but I was happy to carry on until 2 and snack times were a good way to do it so they didn't interfere with meal times, though if they had I wouldn't have been concerned as long as my child was getting enough nutrients from the food that it's harder to get through milk (ie iron)

Certainly it would be a more cheerful walk all round if I fed for two minutes on a bench rather than insisting my child had a banana or something else they didn't want instead. By 2 they understood waiting much better

@CreosoteQueen

On MN the benefits are never quantified, and breast milk is made out to be some kind of kryptonite or something.

I don’t think this is what you meant to say

Yikes, why?? 😂

@Dandylioness1
You do what works for you and your child. I'm still breastfeeding my 16 month old and although it's my preference not to while out and about that doesn't mean I wouldn't if she needs to. We're in a fairly good routine of when she does breastfeed but sometimes she needs an extra feed in between the main ones whether it be for comfort or nourishment who cares. It makes our life happier if I feed her those extra times.
What would have happened if you hadn't of stopped and fed your child? An unhappy, unsettled, crying toddler for the rest of your walk? I know which option I would prefer.

@beyondtheshoe

I'm still feeding at 27months

it's ok to start talking in YEARS you know... You don't keep them as newborn babies however hard you try. Poor kid.

I don’t feel sorry for her kid when I read that. Your kids however....

I feel so sad for you that not only do you have someone in your life who is willing to let a baby go without because of her issues but that you have low confidence to ask on here. So glad you fed him anyway so you really do have this. You did nothing wrong but your friend is not nice.

As forr the emotional/bonding side, there’s no evidence bf babies have closer bonds with their mothers or that they’re more emotionally stable.

That’s simply untrue though. There is plenty of evidence that the psychological, as well as the physical benefits, endure into adulthood.

Some mothers choose not to breastfeed; that is their right, but the evidence doesn’t change to appease women who made that choice or had circumstances they felt negated breastfeeding.

@LemonRoses

As forr the emotional/bonding side, there’s no evidence bf babies have closer bonds with their mothers or that they’re more emotionally stable.

That’s simply untrue though. There is plenty of evidence that the psychological, as well as the physical benefits, endure into adulthood.

Some mothers choose not to breastfeed; that is their right, but the evidence doesn’t change to appease women who made that choice or had circumstances they felt negated breastfeeding.

Please do post a respectable scientific study to prove this.

I fed my toddler until he was 3. On demand when he was born then as he got older with more structure and boundaries in place . He knew when he was 1 plus that I may offer an alternative water or juice as it just sometimes wasn't convenient, if we were in a cafe there was nothing wrong with offering him some juice rather than having my toddler feed there and then. You may not want to keep doing it anywhere and everything as he gets older.

MN is a wonderful world.

On one hand it's wonderful to BF "babies" in their 20s or 30s or possibly 40 months of age...

on the other hand children are wonderfully independent and learn to make their own lunch, iron their own clothes, do their own laundry before they are 5 years old.

So basically toddlers are baking their own birthday cakes made with breast milk.

It's a truly amazing world.