To feed my 1 year old outside

[Dandylioness1]

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

You weren't doing anything wrong. I'd be more concerned about you teaching your son to say boob boob which is just horrible.

I reckon this thread has got about an hour, or so, left...

[quote canonlydoblue]@Wondermule

Or they just come to the natural of their breastfeeding journey with you as and when they are ready. I've breastfed five children now and not once have I considered putting anything on my nipples to deter them.[/quote]
You need to read more threads on here then!

I was just mooting that breastfeeding past the age where milk is NEEDED (up to 1) actually creates a need rather than meets one - after all, babies weaned a little earlier don’t cry and ask for boob do they? But I digress, I said I would stop posting as Op is out to get me

The important word is feed, your child was hungry and you fed it. If your friend was hungry or thirsty presumably they'd also feed outside.

They recommend it because of third world countries not having the safe facilities to make formula. Another MN myth to guilt trip mums!

Its not a myth. It’s a fact that breast milk is best for babies, wherever in the world they live.

It’s not like all babies would be better off on formula unless it can’t be made safely. Breast milk is better than formula milk in all but rare cases. The reality is that from a nutritional perspective breastfeeding is almost always better than formula for babies - but not always better for mums. That’s a completely valid reason to use formula; maternal wellbeing is essential to the wellbeing of the child, and formula is a perfectly good alternative for women who don’t want to breastfeed, or who can’t. But there is absolutely no health-based reason to switch a child from breast milk to formula or the milk of another animal before they naturally wean. Breastfeeding beyond 1 is normal and healthy.

@Wondermule I wish that mum's didn't feel pressure to breastfeed if it's difficult for them because there are alternatives and really in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter. You can't tell when a child is older if they have been fed breast milk or formula as babies. But that's no reason to make mums who can and do breastfeed their children for as long as they want to feel like it's something that should be hidden away and not done in public so it doesn't offend other people is just ludicrous. It needs to stop.

You can feed your baby anywhere. Your friend wouldn't have weighed in with "he doesn't need it" if you gave milk in a bottle or water from a sippy cup.

I find the "they don't need it" arguments to be a bit silly. I enjoy a cup of coffee mid morning and make a brew when I want one. Sure, I don't 'need' it, but it would be pretty damn weird for an adult to say "oh Lola you don't need a coffee, why can't you just have water / Lola why can't you just wait to have a coffee? The only time you need a hot beverage is at breakfast and lunch / Are you for real, you want to stop part way on a walk so you can have a drink, you don't need to drink on demamd".

Some adults have their own hangups about breastfeeding and/or seem to hold babies and toddlers to a higher standard than they'd hold themselves (or more accurately, hold breastfed babies and toddlers to a higher standard as apparently it's fine to have bottles and sippy cups and packets of snacks, tubs of fruit etc).

Yanbu and I'm surprised by some of the replies. Even if the dc could wait untillater, not sure why he should. My dd bf loads still at 13 months. It's a bit sad to know how many other mums are judgemental of it. I'm not sure how it hurts or affects anyone else.

Your friend is out of order. You’re doing the right thing for your child.

Everything that @CreosoteQueen said. Far more eloquent than I was managing in my head thank you.

Feeding into and beyond toddler years, if a mother wants to, also has many benefits beyond nutrition. Do it or don’t, whatever, but don’t stop me telling @Dandylioness1 she’s bloody amazing to be doing it, because it is.

I wish I'd been able to bf ds. Bf is natural and normal. Your friend is a dick.

@Wondermule

You breastfed till 6 months. Reading support threads for those who breastfeed longer on the internet doesn't really qualify you as any kind of expert on an experience you have never had.

Its a bit weird for someone who hasn't had that experience to be telling those who have what they are experiencing or should be doing.

@Thehop

Feeding into and beyond toddler years, if a mother wants to, also has many benefits beyond nutrition

Like what?

[quote GintyMcGinty]@Wondermule

You breastfed till 6 months. Reading support threads for those who breastfeed longer on the internet doesn't really qualify you as any kind of expert on an experience you have never had.

Its a bit weird for someone who hasn't had that experience to be telling those who have what they are experiencing or should be doing.[/quote]
I’m not. I’m saying why I personally stopped. Those threads put me off.

Argh getting so many replies 🤯

Whenever I see a thread about breastfeeding it reminds me of an early episode of Masterchef US where people were competing to enter the competition.

One woman placed her dish in front of Gordon Ramsey, 'tell me about the dish he asks' as he takes a mouthful. She lists the ingredients and then adds 'and my breast milk'. I've never seen food spat out so fast.

Have any of you ever cooked with your breast milk? Did you tell those eating it and was their reaction similar to Gordon's?

@Wondermule can you also stop saying that giving children milk past the age of 1 is not a need. Whether it's cows milk, human milk, yoghurt, cheese... It's still an important part of their diet.

[quote Tianatiers]@Wondermule can you also stop saying that giving children milk past the age of 1 is not a need. Whether it's cows milk, human milk, yoghurt, cheese... It's still an important part of their diet.[/quote]
Of course, all I meant was it doesn’t ‘need’ to come from the boob iyswim (although that is the natural source!)

No it doesn't need to come from a cow either.

@Wondermule

They recommend it because of third world countries not having the safe facilities to make formula. Another MN myth to guilt trip mums!

Are you a troll? Because that’s just how you come across in all of your replies.

You claim to have breasted your child, claim to have had a pleasant experience, yet all you seem to be doing is finding negative things to say about breastfeeding.

If you did breastfeed then you clearly didn’t do a lot of research into it.

Breastmilk never loses its qualities. It’s recommended for its wonderful health benefits!!!
That’s not a myth, that’s a scientific fact.

Feeding into and beyond toddler years, if a mother wants to, also has many benefits beyond nutrition

Like what?

Comfort, security, attachment, reassurance, bonding, immunity-building, reduction in likelihood of allergies, lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol, less likely to be overweight, protection from diabetes.

I can't believe that in this day and age some people still have an issue with BF in public - he's 13m not 13 years. YANBU. You are just being a good mum to your baby.

Did you carry snacks like a banana or anything? When ds was 13 months we wouldn't have stopped for milk (regardless of whether it was formula or breast). By that age they are fully weaned onto food so I'd expect snacks to be given rather than milk in the day.

Your friend is a cow and you should ignore her. But she probably won't be the only one - people can be really weird about breastfeeding at all, and especially if your baby is no longer a newborn. It's still good for them, you're still doing a good thing, and mothers feeding their children when they're hungry is pretty clearly what you're supposed to do... So ignore anyone who's an arse about it. (Also, not everyone is rubbish and judgemental about mothers breastfeeding in public places, so please don't worry about doing it. No one ever commented when I fed my kids while we were in the UK and they were definitely older than 13 months!)

I wonder What kind of snack she thinks is better than breast milk?!