To feed my 1 year old outside

[Dandylioness1]

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

@TheKeatingFive

Well, we digressed

This points you made a few pages back doesn't seem to be focused on panicking FFs either, to be fair.

My point was that I don’t think people do see it as sexualised, they just feel uncomfortable at someone having a boob out - probably in part because they worry if they look away they will be labelled a prude, but if they point their eyes in the mums direction they will look like a weirdo.

Would you say the same about a bloke walking round with nothing on? It’s not the same I know, but it’s the same principle, the public here just don’t like any form of nudity.

Much more in the vein of trying to police BFing mothers, wouldn't you say?

I don’t know, as the people I’m referring to.

I actually wish I’d never even asked on MN now because some of the responses are so much worse than I thought they ever would be.

I rather think you mean you wished you hadn’t asked because you were being disingenuous and have been rumbled. You don’t get to act all hurt now; it was you who started a thread in bad faith.

*ask

@FloconDeNeige

I actually wish I’d never even asked on MN now because some of the responses are so much worse than I thought they ever would be.

I rather think you mean you wished you hadn’t asked because you were being disingenuous and have been rumbled. You don’t get to act all hurt now; it was you who started a thread in bad faith.

Since we’re appointing ourselves in charge of what OP gets to do: OP, charge on acting and feeling however you choose and don’t worry about horrible jealous people wanting to pull you down

@FloconDeNeige

I actually wish I’d never even asked on MN now because some of the responses are so much worse than I thought they ever would be.

I rather think you mean you wished you hadn’t asked because you were being disingenuous and have been rumbled. You don’t get to act all hurt now; it was you who started a thread in bad faith.

It’s a need for praise and to bask in their Earth Motherness I think 😉

@breadbinbaby jealous? Come on! I don’t agree with a lot of the points being made but I don’t think anyone is jealous that some randomer is breastfeeding.

I don’t know, as the people I’m referring to.

I really hate when people hide behind ‘other people think’ as they do often do on this topic. Speak for yourself. Let others speak for themselves.

OP I can completely see where you are coming from.

I am still feeding my 16 month old, and sometimes I feel really anxious when in public, debating whether to feed or not. It's actually awful that the opinions of others could have such an impact. You are not weird or the one in the wrong, your friend is and those on this thread who agree with her.

It's not surprising that you have come on here really. Extended breastfeeding has sadly very low rates, and, especially where like you've said people like me and you have been unable to go to baby groups/meet other mums/breastfeeding support groups it can seem like most people you come across find feeding over a certain age weird. You have had some wonderful responses on here, amongst the few who are uneducated and highly ignorant, they have made me feel a lot better that I am still breastfeeding too.

[quote OhCaptain]@breadbinbaby jealous? Come on! I don’t agree with a lot of the points being made but I don’t think anyone is jealous that some randomer is breastfeeding. [/quote]
We can agree to disagree. God knows what their motivations are otherwise.

@Wondermule

It was to hear from other mums and if what Im doing is “right” or “normal”.

You’ve said it is yourself Op, on numerous occasions throughout this thread. So it’s no wonder posters aren’t buying that.

My friend made two comments.

give him some water / a snack instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I ignored her and fed him, she sat with me and had a coffee.

I got home and it played on my mind, it upset me and I felt like I’d done something wrong.

I honestly thought I’d ask to see what other people thought.

Seems that people on here think even worse than my friend does.

When I have posters who I feel are attacking me, or there’s a certain poster who is insistent of pretty much saying breastfeeding is pointless, and if you breastfeed it must mean you have MH issues and don’t want to prioritise spending time with your born (@Wondermule) then yes, I am going to respond and defend my reasons for breastfeeding and also why I think breastfeeding is so beneficial.

Do all mums think this? Will other mums say this o me?

I think so many people on here will be forgetting that I’ve had a baby during a pandemic.
No support group, no mum and baby groups.
I have had little to no experience of spending time with other mums and babies!

Lolz at the ole jealousy card being pulled! When all else fails, accuse those of differing opinion of being jealous 🤣

@Wondermule for someone who breastfed themselves, your attitude at times in this thread has been most unpleasant.

If I had to wager who had an agenda on this thread, it wouldn't be OP I would be looking at.

[quote Goldengladrags]**@Wondermule for someone who breastfed themselves, your attitude at times in this thread has been most unpleasant.

If I had to wager who had an agenda on this thread, it wouldn't be OP I would be looking at.[/quote]
Particularly when @Wondermule very early on said she was leaving this thread, but yet still continues to post and be very unpleasant.

[quote Goldengladrags]@Wondermule for someone who breastfed themselves, your attitude at times in this thread has been most unpleasant.

If I had to wager who had an agenda on this thread, it wouldn't be OP I would be looking at.[/quote]
Please point out anything I have said which is ‘most unpleasant’.

13 months is tiny. Please don't worry and just ignore the judgey people.

I think I last nursed one of my kids in front of someone around 3.5 (bedtime around a campfire) - daytime out and about not really over 2.

@Dandylioness1 because you and others keep tagging me 😂 you’re obsessed!

[quote Wondermule]@Dandylioness1 because you and others keep tagging me 😂 you’re obsessed![/quote]
@Wondermule

🥱 😴

You know exactly what you’re doing.

I would suggest a hobby for that boredom of yours, one that doesn’t involve playing Devils Advocate of on forums.

@Wondermule Could probably point something out on nearly all 28 pages, the irony of you calling anyone else obsessed when you realise how many posts you have on here.

If you were really done with a thread you wouldn't give in to the temptation of responding even if you are being tagged, you would just hide the thread and move on.

And actually, some of the absolute dribble you have come out with, I'm glad other posters have called you out on it.

No, OP, you know exactly what you’re doing. You just don’t like the fact that some posters saw through you.

OP I think you know you were within your rights to stop and feed your child. Your friend sadly has been socialised as have most of us to find breastfeeding a baby more than a few months old as uncomfortable.

However- these threads often turn into a BF/FF debate which is a shame. I think people feel so strongly about baby feeding that its easy for people to get upset either way. I BF one child and FF the other and both times had difficulties, guilt, upset and judgement.

Be confident in your decisions. Don't listen to anyone else.

Some odd posts on here OP
Of course YANBU and why would you give a snack or cows milk when your son wants milk?
Fed both mine until over 2 and I think probably occasional that happened outside until 18 months or so
After that it tended to be only night times or whenever they felt ill or upset
I can't put glad that you are defeding paranting choices as I don't get there is anything to defend - you just took care of your child!

[quote Goldengladrags]@Wondermule Could probably point something out on nearly all 28 pages, the irony of you calling anyone else obsessed when you realise how many posts you have on here.

If you were really done with a thread you wouldn't give in to the temptation of responding even if you are being tagged, you would just hide the thread and move on.

And actually, some of the absolute dribble you have come out with, I'm glad other posters have called you out on it.[/quote]
What dribble?

@FloconDeNeige What is it you think OP did? Why do you feel so strongly about it either way?

Even if OP did start it (and I really don't believe she did) with bad intentions why are you continuing to engage with the thread at all if you don't buy a word that is being said?

I didn’t breastfeed my baby but it wouldn’t bother me if I met up with a friend and she breastfed her baby.

@Wondermule Pretty much every post you put on here.

And you've repeated yourself for nearly 28 pages, despite saying right at the beginning that you were leaving the thread.

It's the equivalent to storming off and slamming the door, then storming back in 20 plus times.

Are you an attention seeker in real life too?