To feed my 1 year old outside

[Dandylioness1]

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

My son turns 3 this week, still asking for boobie on demand and gets it regardless of where we are ..tell your friend to f**k off.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

But not necessarily about bf generally. About whether it was necessary to bf right there, right now.

There's a big difference.

she said it wasn’t just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

It’s there in the post. The friend’s issue was about breastfeeding.

@Wondermule

Because my friend wasn’t the one saying that my son using the word “boob boob” was inappropriate.

This thread was about feeding a 13 month in public, not about what he says when he asks for milk.

@Wondermule do you see the double standard? You’re describing breastfeeding as cruel in some circumstances, but breastfeeding mothers can’t even express pride in breast feeding without it somehow being seen as an unfair judgment on formula feeding mothers?

@Frogartist

Ok beyond the shoe you are just "interpreting " what people are saying, not listening to what they are actually saying. Nobody has actually said, or implied, hat women who actually can't breastfeed (a very small percentage) have chosen the lazy option.

see, that little dig "a very small percentage" is exactly what I am talking about.

Why do you feel the need to put that there? Who are you trying to make feel bad?
Are you trying to make yourself feel better somehow? Why the dig?

[quote Dandylioness1]@Wondermule

It sounds like a nightmare OP if I’m honest

You can be as honest as you want.

The easier choice would’ve been to quit.

I chose to commit and continue.

It wasn’t a nightmare at all. It was a small part of my breastfeeding journey, and going through that got us this far.

My son loves breastfeeding, I love breastfeeding.
We will continue for as long as we are both happy to do so.[/quote]
Well you can call it easier, others might call it happier. Some people want to prioritise enjoying their baby and spending happy time together, they don’t just choose to FF because it’s ‘easy’.

You sound assertive enough that I simply don’t believe you started this thread for ‘support’ from other mums in a fog of breastfeeding insecurity - I think you wanted a little brag and the chance to stir up some outrage on your behalf. Mission accomplished 👍🏻

@beyondtheshoe I’m not answering because I don’t trust your intentions and it feels personal.

[quote CreosoteQueen]@Wondermule do you see the double standard? You’re describing breastfeeding as cruel in some circumstances, but breastfeeding mothers can’t even express pride in breast feeding without it somehow being seen as an unfair judgment on formula feeding mothers?[/quote]
You know I didn’t describe bfing as cruel. I called letting your baby go hungry cruel. Stop deliberately twisting what I said, it makes you look either disingenuous or silly or both.

I have absolutely no idea why you’re getting a hard time here, OP

You weren’t lucky, you worked hard to breastfeed and yes it is an achievement so you should feel proud.

You should also ignore the jealous/bitter/uncomfortable posters on this thread and continue to breastfeed your son. You two will know when the time to stop is, but it isn’t now.

He’s still only a baby.

I’m pleased I stopped at 6 months - the weaning battles and exhaustion I see on here from extended breastfeeding was what prompted me to stop

This thread has probably moved on... but I so agree with this earlier post 👍

I loved BF but work, getting out and about, getting full nights sleep stopped BF for more than 6 months and that was good for me (and all my friends TBH)

OP, You are right to continue up to feed your child in the way that suits you both. I wish that when I was a young mum the support was available to continue feeding as I was encouraged to put my baby on formula in hospital as we had a traumatic birth and he would not 'latch on'. I was told he had to be on the bottle before I took him home and I still think this contributed to my post natal depression. I am so happy that now breast feeding is so encouraged and easy to do in public. Enjoy your lovely child, you are doing the right thing.

Why do you feel the need to put that there? Who are you trying to make feel bad?
Are you trying to make yourself feel better somehow? Why the dig?

Anyone could ask the same question about your horrible comment about a poster giving their child’s age in months and not years.

[quote CreosoteQueen]@beyondtheshoe I’m not answering because I don’t trust your intentions and it feels personal.[/quote]
you don't have to, I just meant that if your eldest child is 17 months old you won't have the bigger view or the distance you'd have if the youngest is 15 years old, that's all.

YANBU.

He's only 13 months- people are being ridiculous.

@Wondermule I said ‘cruel in some circumstances’ which is exactly what you said. Don’t ignore half of my sentence and then accuse me of being disingenuous!

@breadbinbaby

*Why do you feel the need to put that there? Who are you trying to make feel bad? Are you trying to make yourself feel better somehow? Why the dig?*

Anyone could ask the same question about your horrible comment about a poster giving their child’s age in months and not years.

I am not sure how that answers the question.

@MrsJBaptiste

I’m pleased I stopped at 6 months - the weaning battles and exhaustion I see on here from extended breastfeeding was what prompted me to stop

This thread has probably moved on... but I so agree with this earlier post 👍

I loved BF but work, getting out and about, getting full nights sleep stopped BF for more than 6 months and that was good for me (and all my friends TBH)

Thanks x

I really believe it is the best of both worlds - you can impart the vast majority of health benefits, but wean before it becomes an emotional dependency which makes ending it stressful and exhausting.

My priority was simply to enjoy my baby, to be happy and rested and fun so we could spend lovely time together. Not to tick ‘mum point’ boxes or fulfil some arbitrary goal. You don’t get a medal at the end of the day, and nobody asks after a year or two anyway.

Can we all have a time out? Women need to support women.

@beyondtheshoe well, I was formula fed. I have four first class / with distinction degrees, an excellent career, a wonderful bond with my mum, and very good health. I still know breastfeeding is the best and healthiest decision for my baby. Is that sufficient distance?

@Wondermule

Oh and another thing that makes me sad (I’m very bored tonight if you can’t tell )

People who post about their baby’s plummeting weight loss but refuse to give up bfing or even mix feed. Instead they just say they’ll go to a bfing support group in a few days if your 5 year old was hungry and had been for days, would you say ‘Don’t worry darling, I’m going to get some help with that next week’? It’s cruel. Newborns are still human beings that shouldn’t feel hunger for weeks if they don’t need to.

I’ve gone massively off topic

Bf babies do tend to lose more weight after birth but this does not mean they are starving hungry. That’s simply not true for the majority of cases.

[quote CreosoteQueen]@beyondtheshoe well, I was formula fed. I have four first class / with distinction degrees, an excellent career, a wonderful bond with my mum, and very good health. I still know breastfeeding is the best and healthiest decision for my baby. Is that sufficient distance?[/quote]
with your own children? You tell me

Absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding him in public. It us up to you if he has milk or a snack/water at that time. Plus unlike a little baby I'm sure your toddler is a pretty efficient feeder so she wouldn't have had to wait long.

@Wondermule

I think you wanted a little brag and the chance to stir up some outrage on your behalf. Mission accomplished 👍🏻

You do realise that a few pages into this thread you said you were going, yet here you still are, replying to most comments, arguing against breastfeeding, discrediting scientific facts.

I think it’s clear which one of us is trying to stir up the outrage.

@level32 a cla