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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do I tell my best friend that I'm moving to York

129 replies

imanenglishwomaninNY · 13/03/2021 19:07

I've put it off for ages, we're going to be moving in less than 6 months now.

Text, phone call or (sd) face to face?

OP posts:
HollaHolla · 13/03/2021 19:24

Hello BFriend.

You know how we’ve got family/I have a new job/etc. Well, it means we’re moving to York later in the year. Of course we’ll keep our chats, and we can visit.

Love me. X

HollaHolla · 13/03/2021 19:25

Also - you don’t say where from, how far a move it is, if it’s a day trip, or a few days visit, etc.

en0la · 13/03/2021 19:27

@HollaHolla

Also - you don’t say where from, how far a move it is, if it’s a day trip, or a few days visit, etc.
I'm guessing it might be to or from New York ?
demelza82 · 13/03/2021 19:29

This is a forum for grownups OP with some life experience. Maybe discuss it with your school counselor

Lockheart · 13/03/2021 19:31

"I'm moving to York" would probably cover it.

DrManhattan · 13/03/2021 19:32

Whats the AIBU?

Serin · 13/03/2021 19:32

Ring her.

Forevernamechange12333333 · 13/03/2021 19:34

Hope she sees this thread and knows you are going?!?

Bunnybigears · 13/03/2021 19:36

Hi friend, as we are both adults and fully aware that we both have our on lives, partners, kids, jobs I am moving to York. It would be lovely if you could come see our new house/have a day out when restrictions allow. End of chat.

WonkyCactus · 13/03/2021 19:38

When I told my best friend I was moving, it went something like this:
Me: Hey, guess what? I've got a new job and I'm moving to [new city].
Her: Ace, well done! Fancy a glass of wine?

Thisgirlcando · 13/03/2021 19:39

This is a forum for grownups OP with some life experience. Maybe discuss it with your school counselor

This is a forum for grownups PP with the option to give people advice if they need it. Maybe stay off it until you learn how to be kind rather than patronising.

Original poster
imanenglishwomaninNY · 13/03/2021 19:44

@demelza82

This is a forum for grownups OP with some life experience. Maybe discuss it with your school counselor
Right ok. Thanks
OP posts:
Original poster
imanenglishwomaninNY · 13/03/2021 19:45

@Lockheart

"I'm moving to York" would probably cover it.
Yeah sure. Apart from the fact she'll be upset
OP posts:
purpleme12 · 13/03/2021 19:45

Well if she's your best friend I wouldn't do it by text
The others are fine

Original poster
imanenglishwomaninNY · 13/03/2021 19:46

@purpleme12

Well if she's your best friend I wouldn't do it by text The others are fine
I think that because we've all moved to text as our primary communication method, a phone call seems quite an ambush!
OP posts:
Original poster
imanenglishwomaninNY · 13/03/2021 19:47

@Bunnybigears

Hi friend, as we are both adults and fully aware that we both have our on lives, partners, kids, jobs I am moving to York. It would be lovely if you could come see our new house/have a day out when restrictions allow. End of chat.
She doesn't have a partner
OP posts:
purpleme12 · 13/03/2021 19:47

If she's upset you just need to reassure her
That you'll still be friends and keep in touch and can visit (if that's the case)
Not much else you can do really

Cosmos123 · 13/03/2021 19:48

Maybe difficult face to face with covid so I say phone call.

MirandaWest · 13/03/2021 19:48

I had that situation 10 years ago - moved from about 150 miles away to York. Think I went round to their house to tell her; we have stayed in touch and visited quite a few times Smile

Lattissima5 · 13/03/2021 19:50

Just text first to say you need to tell her something important?

Vickles20 · 13/03/2021 19:50

I heard on a what’s app message. It is what it is. She should be happy for you. She’s be gutted, but she’ll get over it. We have one life.. live it.

Springsoonplease · 13/03/2021 19:53

Hi op . Get where you are commimg from . My best mate moved and i was sad as i knew our much valued daily life together would change.. but i was glad for her. It depends on your friendship .. my friend and I are lifelong close friends and she came to my door to tell me .

FTMF30 · 13/03/2021 19:53

@demelza82

This is a forum for grownups OP with some life experience. Maybe discuss it with your school counselor
Funny how you mock OP for being childish, yet make a bitchy school kid comment.

OP, just rip the plaster off. If you're really good friends, being told casually by text might be hurtful. I think a phonecall would be better "I have some news, I'm moving to York". Done. You can also gauge her reaction better too. You can smooth things over. She might not even take it as bad as you think. How far away will the move be?

Notonthestairs · 13/03/2021 19:54

Where are you moving from?

Does she drive? What would her train connections be like.

My closest friend back to America after 20 years in the UK. I miss her terribly but we zoom weekly and WhatsApp and visit when we can.

Remember it's good news for you (I love York) and whilst she might be shocked to start with you will both adjust.

sonjadog · 13/03/2021 19:55

Just tell her. "Hi, got some big news. We are moving to York in x. I miss you so I hope you will come and visit." Job done.

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