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Original poster

To think that most men do respect women

999 replies

katieloves · 13/03/2021 08:36

I’m concerned about the vilification of men that we’re hearing a lot about. I know there’s some men who disrespect women and this absolutely needs to stop, but equally I’ve witnessed women being equally disrespectful to men. I’ve seen plenty of women feeling up men etc. on a night out and it being laughed off. If this was reversed it would be considered assault. It feels like all men are being accused of treating women badly and I just don’t see it.

OP posts:
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6
Whenthesunshines · 13/03/2021 16:12

@supercee

Where were the balanced points of views being offered up? I must've missed those....
Different opinions, different experiences, different men, different women. The tread is full of them. Some people can’t cope with others having a different opinion. They get nasty.
OppsUpsSide · 13/03/2021 16:12

I just think it’s a mighty ask not to mention something that is in the very title of the thread.

lifeturnsonadime · 13/03/2021 16:12

@lifeturnsonadime

I have never said that they have said either of those things.

So where is the misandry on the thread other than the fact that many women are saying that they believe most men do not respect women?

Why are they not entitled to believe that based upon their lived experience?

Why should they have to lie about their lived experience of the way they have been treated by men in order to protect mens feelings?

Are you saying you don't believe the women who say this?

Sorry I've just read that back. I do not mean that I think that this is misandry just to be clear. I just am asking Rooty to be specific in her allegation.
LolaSmiles · 13/03/2021 16:12

I think some posters have forgotten the title of this thread!
Nope. RootyT00t is on several threads at the moment arguing that misogyny isn't that bad and that women talking about male pattern violence is mean women, and generally taking the view that women standing up for women is some toxic feminist worldview.

RootyT00t · 13/03/2021 16:13

@lifeturnsonadime

I have never said that they have said either of those things.

So where is the misandry on the thread other than the fact that many women are saying that they believe most men do not respect women?

Why are they not entitled to believe that based upon their lived experience?

Why should they have to lie about their lived experience of the way they have been treated by men in order to protect mens feelings?

Are you saying you don't believe the women who say this?

No, I'm not saying I don't believe them.

But the statement that most men don't respect women is a sexist statement.

Pumperthepumper · 13/03/2021 16:13

[quote RootyT00t]@Pumperthepumper

That doesn't mean it doesn't exist though does it?

86 men a week kill themselves and we don't care. It has even been mocked on this very th was. That OK?[/quote]
What can society do to combat the massive problem of male violence?

littlepattilou · 13/03/2021 16:14

@ineedaholidaynow

When DS was at Primary school they had some building work being done so part of the playground was closed off. So football was banned as it would take up too much room on the reduced playground.

There were many mothers complaining at the school gates, saying that the boys needed their space. I was not one of them, I agreed with the school's argument. Many of these mothers were also the ones who talked about boys will be boys when their sons got into trouble. I hate that phrase and never used it in respect of my son.

Some parents attitudes need to change if we are going to change the attitudes of our sons as they grow into adulthood.

Exactly this. Well said. The parents of boys need to educate the boys, and make them better people. Not have them grow up thinking they're above women, and women are just there for their entertainment and amusement.

The amount of shit women have to put up with throughout their life (from some men,) is sickening. And what's even more sickening, is people defending them, and saying 'but da poor menz!' And 'wimmin are nasty too sometimes.... ' Horrible. As if we women don't suffer enough in life through the behaviour of (some) men, we have to take the same shit from women (well, people claiming to be women!) Hmm

RootyT00t · 13/03/2021 16:15

@LolaSmiles

I think some posters have forgotten the title of this thread! Nope. RootyT00t is on several threads at the moment arguing that misogyny isn't that bad and that women talking about male pattern violence is mean women, and generally taking the view that women standing up for women is some toxic feminist worldview.
Ah, where would I be without you popping up to parrot the things people can read for themselves.

The reason someone said that the title is forgotten is because your brigade find it acceptable to come on this thread and argue with OP that men aren't respectful and go on about women even though this is about MEN but have a problem with us coming to threads about women to stick up for men.

Thanks for your input though, I did indeed say those things (although you've been a bit cheeky again, that comment about misogny was in relation to someone saying they don't believe in misandry' and me flippantly saying well I don't believe misogny is that bad now what, but I've already told you that).

This is your third attempt to twist my words on a thread (I'm on three btw, not several), and encourage a pile on so I suggest you stop before I need to report you for that.

TheJerkStore · 13/03/2021 16:15

just talk about themselves and how badly done to by men they are?

Are you for real?

Unfortunately the two women a week killed by their male partners are unable to complain about how badly done to by men they are

And yes being raped is just being badly done to as is the daily sexual harassment women face.

We really should know our place and stop the moaning already .......

Pumperthepumper · 13/03/2021 16:16

[quote RootyT00t]@Pumperthepumper

That doesn't mean it doesn't exist though does it?

86 men a week kill themselves and we don't care. It has even been mocked on this very th was. That OK?[/quote]
Also if that’s the only issue you can come up with for misandry, I’d suggest it’s not as big a problem as you say you think it is. It’s not having an effect on society at large. So we can probably disregard it when we talk about how many women are being killed by men.

OnTheSeaShore · 13/03/2021 16:16

I didn't truly realise how endemic and absolute men's hatred of women was, until the trans debate. Then once I'd dipped a toe - any debate at all in which women are striving to protect or advocate for women.

Devastating.

RootyT00t · 13/03/2021 16:16

@Pumperthepumper you are out of order for referring to male suicide as violence, others saying that have already been deleted.

RootyT00t · 13/03/2021 16:17

@OnTheSeaShore

I didn't truly realise how endemic and absolute men's hatred of women was, until the trans debate. Then once I'd dipped a toe - any debate at all in which women are striving to protect or advocate for women.

Devastating.

How anyone can read through these threads and come to that conclusion rather than there women's hate of men is beyond me.
BigBamboo · 13/03/2021 16:17

I would go as far as saying very few men truly respect women.

I agree. I used to think I was surrounded by great men. As I have got older, I realise that they are great until challenged and then the misogyny comes out.

My SIL is actually appalled at the way my dad talks about me, albeit in a positive way. Apparently, he refers to my looks and age all the time. My first-class degree and great job are irrelevant. For me, my worth is that I am attractive and slim. A few years ago when I thought about leaving my DH who was treating me really badly, I was told by the males in my family to stay where I was and to try not to upset my DH to make him angry at me. It was then that the scales finally fell from my eyes about men.

supercee · 13/03/2021 16:17

@LolaSmiles

I think some posters have forgotten the title of this thread! Nope. RootyT00t is on several threads at the moment arguing that misogyny isn't that bad and that women talking about male pattern violence is mean women, and generally taking the view that women standing up for women is some toxic feminist worldview.
@Whenthesunshines THIS is the only alternative viewing I can see being offered up and I don't consider it balanced. People aren't getting angry because it's 'different', it's because it's offensive to me as a woman.

I'm not a toxic angry feminist because I think discussions should be had regarding the male class and their behaviour towards women.

Carolina24 · 13/03/2021 16:17

Join the club. I derail it cause I'm self indulgent and a man

A rare moment of self-awareness.

RootyT00t · 13/03/2021 16:17

@Pumperthepumper sorry can you clarify, you think we should DISREGARD 86 dead fathers, sons, husband and friends a week? I'm sure that's not what you meant.

lifeturnsonadime · 13/03/2021 16:17

But the statement that most men don't respect women is a sexist statement.

You see I don't think it is a sexist statement.

You might if you have been fortunate not to experience misogyny as a thread throughout your life be in the way you were parented (to be kind), subjected to sexual abuse from comments on the street to rape, in the workplace, in the way you are treated by agencies as the female parent of disabled children as opposed to the dad.

If you see it as a sexist statement then consider the sexism that women who believe it must have seen to have an alternative view.

As I stated earlier misogyny is really the only acceptable form of abuse in this country.

OppsUpsSide · 13/03/2021 16:18

It has even been mocked on this very th was.

If you are referring to me, I was not mocking male suicide.

RootyT00t · 13/03/2021 16:18

@Carolina24

Join the club. I derail it cause I'm self indulgent and a man

A rare moment of self-awareness.

Another poster who gives nothing but pops up to be personal to me.

That's fine.

Pumperthepumper · 13/03/2021 16:19

[quote RootyT00t]@Pumperthepumper you are out of order for referring to male suicide as violence, others saying that have already been deleted.[/quote]
It is violence - again, read up on male charities. Men choose more violent methods, meaning they are more likely to be successful. It’s one of the reasons suicide figures are so high for men. That’s absolutely a fact, and the best thing we, as society, can do to help these men is talk about male violence, toxic masculinity and male entitlement. These are all absolute facts, and the basis of many, many campaigns for men’s mental health.

So when we shoot down discussions of male violence in society, we are also shutting down opportunities to help these men.

RootyT00t · 13/03/2021 16:19

@OppsUpsSide

It has even been mocked on this very th was.

If you are referring to me, I was not mocking male suicide.

I am yes. And the poster who has just said we should 'disregard' it.
BigBamboo · 13/03/2021 16:19

OnTheSea

The trans debate also made me peak-men.

It is not in men's interests for us to be sage, to be equal, and to be independent. That encroaches on their space. That's why they don't stand up for us in any capacity.

RootyT00t · 13/03/2021 16:19

@Pumperthepumper let's not pretend after your latest comment you have any interest in helping men.

BrumBoo · 13/03/2021 16:19

But the statement that most men don't respect women is a sexist statement.

How is it sexist if it's true? Men respect women on their own terms, most men still end up referring to women as bitches, or Karens, share jokes and memes about us in that vein, hold awful stereotypical views about us, have insulting ideas about how it 'feels to be a woman', think that women overract to being 'chatted up' in various gross and inappropriate manner, think they're owed sex and have been overly pushy about in at some point in their lives, just so many examples of how men who think they're respectful of women have at some point been horribly disrespectful of them at some point and still cannot acknowledge it. Because the idea of men being 'disrespectful' has been reduced to 'well I didn't rape, hit or kill a woman so I'm really not that bad'.