Davina McCall's tweet

[SummerWhisper]

Davina McCall tweeted that female abduction / murder is extremely rare and that this level of fearmongering isn't good for men's mental health.

I don't understand why she is attempting to shift the narrative back to how men are feeling after yet another woman's life has been brutally ended BY A MAN.

For fuck's sake, Davina, we have a prominent voice this week, a huge platform to raise awareness about how most of us have to make so many micro- and macro-adjustments to allow for men's violence and here you are, putting men's health in the centre of all this.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should apologise and remove her tweet?

That was in response to FortunesFave post asking "why this case".

People saying the vast majority of men harass and assault women.

Well either they do, or a minority of men are extremely busy. 🤔

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Christ yes, can you imagine if all the other men put the equivalent energy into combating the issue?

@FortunesFave - it's am interesting qu: why this case? I think there are a few things:

She was a 'good' victim - white, pretty, sensible etc. It was easy to sympathise.

An accumulation of very recent news items that highlighted underlying misogyny - Piers/Meghan against a background of a longer term story of women being disproportionately negatively impacted by the pandemic.

And it hit a zeitgeist moment. Like George Floyd. There had been many before and many since but sometimes something just hits at the precise low point in people's resilience and there is a collective "enough"

I agree with Davina .

Can't stand the woman, so I am happy for her to air her views and for people to judge her as an idiot. You either agree with free speech or you don't. Personally, I would rather know what people are thinking, even if I don't agree with it.

I think Sarah Everard because it's very rare for there not to be a way the media or people online to find a way to blame the victim.

Shes not a sex worker, she's wasnt in a relationship with him, she's not related to him nor was she dressed in a way that means "what did she expect".

All of this things usually allows the thinking that somehow it was her fault or means he couldn't help it. The usual disgraceful victim blaming (done by both sexes for different reasons.)

Davina seems to be making herself a guardian of men's mental health but she's just standing looking at women abducted and murdered by a stranger and ignoring whats behind her: all other other ways men humiliated, intimidate, harass, assault, rape, injure and dominant women.

Yes, so a tiny minority of men kill women they don't know, but the "calling out men" that is happening isn't just about that. It's about all male violence. Only men can change that.

Telling men to buck up think about their behaviour or not passively allow this behaviour from other men isn't bad for their mental health.

Fortunefaves, I've wondered this too? Apart from the obvious white middle class angle, perhaps because he's a policeman? Its london? I dont know

@FortunesFave

Bluntness so why this case? What's different about it? I'm genuinely interested to know what's different about this one that's made so much press compared with other murder victims...who deserve just as much attention. Any ideas?

The reason this case is getting more headlines than others of male v female abduction /homicide is because it is the epitome of evil v good... the young, white, middle class woman engaged in an everyday and blameless activity whose life has been snuffed out at the hands of the evil stranger.

You see, being white and middle-class and of good character is considered to be desirable, not least because it somehow add layers of protection from badness. The tendancy to victims blame ie she deserved it bc she wore a skirt/was out late/took drugs/had tattoos/was a single parent/was unemployed/dropped out of high school... none of these can be applied in this case so we are left with the reality that bad things can happen to good people. It's a story that strikes fear into middle England.

Of course it shouldn't matter whether she was white or black, employed or not, young or old, dressed or naked, the fact remains that every person has the right to not be murdered. But unfortunately some lives are valued less than others.

My son/husband/nephews are not dangerous men they are kind and compassionate men and are just as shocked at the murder of this lovely young woman as you or I.

I don't know your husband, son, nephews. If I encounter them while I'm walking home at night I'm crossing the street, or entering the nearest shop. My brother has noticed women do this to him when he is out and about at night and he doesn't cry about it.

Whether you agree with her or not, she should be able to have freedom of speech so YABU

@SummerWhisper

Davina McCall tweeted that female abduction / murder is extremely rare and that this level of fearmongering isn't good for men's mental health.

I don't understand why she is attempting to shift the narrative back to how men are feeling after yet another woman's life has been brutally ended BY A MAN.

For fuck's sake, Davina, we have a prominent voice this week, a huge platform to raise awareness about how most of us have to make so many micro- and macro-adjustments to allow for men's violence and here you are, putting men's health in the centre of all this.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should apologise and remove her tweet?

It is her opinion, she is entitled to it. Just like you are entitled to disagree. This is what grown up people do, disagree and move on. The current infantile 'cancel culture' sledgehammer approach to disagreements really needs to go away now, its embarrassing.

YABU to want her to apologise for her tweet and remove it.

Also men are much more likely to be killed by a stranger, approx 30 percent to men, a third of that to women. And these stats inc terrorist attacks.

I wonder if this is because of the huge lengths women go to avoid risk situations. If women just did what they want, carefree of the risk, I suspect the rates would rise for them too.

I used to walk home from town after a night out, quite a lot when i was younger. Reasonably straight busy route, well lit. The council decided as a money saving exercise to turn the street lights out at 12am. There was loads of complaints because of the risk to women walking home. Still the council went ahead with it. And then proudly stated that crime had gone down, not up,with the darkened streets. This is when I first noticed logic had gone out the window. Woman had stopped walking home. They got cabs, or didn't go out. I stopped going out.

@HeartsAndClubs

But women are murdered all the time...what's different about this one that's made things change in the media? she was young, white, and pretty.

Don't you think it might have something to do with the fact that being abducted off the streets by a stranger who happens to be an armed policeman, and who days before, exposed himself twice, might have something to do with it? Because, and I am no expert, that doesn't happen that often.

endofthelinefinally I watched a programme years ago about a rape unit in ?Manchester I think, and it made it really crystal clear that it was never, ever the woman's fault. A police officer talked about her youngest and oldest victims to push that point home. A newborn baby wasn't wearing the wrong thing or putting itself into a dangerous situation, neither was an 80 year old woman. It isn't our problem, it is the rapists who will rape because they don't care and don't value women, and the low conviction rates back them up. The light sentence given to a man who murdered his wife in Wales because lockdown had worn him down, 5 days in? Men get to use the weakest excuses and it hurts all women and makes us all more vulnerable.

Airbubbleme, there have been a couple of cases of women being murdered after nights out in the last year or so, (that I recall) - so are you saying they gained less attention because the women were drunk etc?

Davina can think what she likes, I'm not sure too many people look to her for guidance, unless it's how to get washboard abs. FWIW, I don't think all men are sexual predators but there are too many who behave inappropriately in whatever way (and I mean a sliding scale here).

@Erkrie spot on. Crime rates are lower when women curtail their own freedoms because they know they won't be protected.

@HeartsAndClubs 100% agree.

She has a point and she has a right to voice her opinion.

stranger murder of women may be rare but violence and abuse of women by men, not rare at all. There is a complete acceptance of women and girls having to internalise this fact every day of their lives

Ok men are not being demonised and if they think they are they need to grow up because many women and girls are scared and that's more important.

If this discomfort makes good men do more than passively watch/be aware of but do nothing about the often small things that happen to us (cat calling, groping, revenge porn, rape jokes) and challenged this, even just amongst their friendship groups this could make a difference to prevent behaviour escalating.

Because if some SM action causes their discomfort and we do nothing ... what's the alternative? if men won't mobilise to call out their sex who will?

I think it was insensitive of her to jump to the defense of men at this time, she could have just kept her mouth shut, she didn’t need to tweet what she did. However, I’m dead against cancel culture and I defend her right to express her opinions, regardless of what they are.

Although abduction is rare, the fear of it is strong amongst women, and I suspect the reason being is that so many of us have been victims of various levels of male poor behaviour that we know it’s not rare to encounter a wrong’un. Unfortunately we don’t know how bad the wrong’uns are until it’s too late.

I just don’t find the tweet helpful. It reduces violence against women to only rape and murder when the reality is there is a sliding scale. This sliding scale of testing the waters, that behaviour is relatively brushed off and then the behaviour escalates. The man in this case exposed himself twice mere days before this event.
I don’t understand the need to flip this situation and make it about men’s mental health.

This case perhaps has had focus also because there’s not much else for us to do at the moment apart from the freedom permitted by our walks, and also because we’re probably spending more time reading the news and social media.

6pm curfews for males what a ridiculous suggestion.
And this is the sort of thing that affects male mental health.

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Being assaulted twice before I was 17 messed my mental health up more, I reckon.