Davina McCall's tweet

[SummerWhisper]

Davina McCall tweeted that female abduction / murder is extremely rare and that this level of fearmongering isn't good for men's mental health.

I don't understand why she is attempting to shift the narrative back to how men are feeling after yet another woman's life has been brutally ended BY A MAN.

For fuck's sake, Davina, we have a prominent voice this week, a huge platform to raise awareness about how most of us have to make so many micro- and macro-adjustments to allow for men's violence and here you are, putting men's health in the centre of all this.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should apologise and remove her tweet?

@Livelovebehappy

Agree with her. The vast majority of men don’t harass, rape or murder women. And this incident was rare in that it was committed by a stranger. Most rapes and murders of women happen within the home, and by people they know.

Most abuse happens in the home due to access - whys that relevant, unless you think women deserve to be attacked by a man they’ve chosen to date

I think she is bang out of order and also wrong. 2 women a week are murdered by their partners according to Refuge. So it isnt rare.

Also I don't imagine she has recent experience of getting into a taxi and wondering if the driver is going to be the one to murder you. The amount amount creepy experiences I've had in taxis is disgusting. Bet she uses a nice car service, not Local Cabs who ask increasingly personal questions.

I think you are confusing her with Carol Vorderman she went to Cambridge

Her response about she wouldn’t walk alone in the dark is victim blaming

Yes. It’s disgusting. She’s saying that she wouldn’t walk alone on the dark, therefore this does imply that Sarah was wrong for daring to walk from her friends house to her own home at 9pm. Sarah did nothing wrong and it is disgusting to put any blame on her. Davina should be very ashamed of that particular response.

That is her opinion and she is entitled to it. I don't think all men should get the label of evil rapist and murderers because of what some men do. No more than women should get a label because of what evil women have done.

onlyfoolsnmothers davina was talking about abductions. Women who are raped and murdered in the home are not abductions. They’re opportunist situations by someone they know generally. Very rare for a stranger to break into someone’s house and attack them. And of course they don’t deserve it. But Davinas point is that it’s suggested women are not safe on the streets alone, but abductions on the street such as this case are very rare.

The only difference between men and women is that men are bigger and stronger. If it were the other way around the men would be raped and murdered whenever a woman decided to. The only reason every woman in britain hasn't been raped is because it's against the law. Not all men would rape a woman, but there are enough that would to make the above true.

OP I think it would have been a more informative thread if you’d have asked whether people agree with her view, instead this has become a thread about whether people should cancel/delete/apologise for their opinion. My take on it is she’s entitled to express her opinion and I see the point she’s making, but I agree with you that I think the focus of debate should concentrate on male violence towards women and what society needs to do about this. If you look at how many women are murdered or assaulted by men each year it’s alarming, compare that to the number of men murdered by women each year and you can see where the problem is. I’m not saying violence towards men doesn’t matter of course it does, but proportionately women around the world are far more likely to be on the receiving end of male violence than the other way round.

YANBU

Davina McCall tweeted that female abduction / murder is extremely rare and that this level of fearmongering isn't good for men's mental health.

First of all it isn't 'extremely rare' - what about all those women and girls killed by men in Britain in the past year whose names were read out by Jess Phillips?

Secondly, it is about the culture of misogyny and sexism that leads men to murder women, and all the expressions of it which aren't rare, they are commonplace, everyday, constant, and I would say most men have behaved in ways that are sexist and or/misogynist.

It's not about fear-mongering, it's about highlighting and raising awareness of a culture that is sexist and misogynist. Not all men are dangerous but most of them indulge in casual sexism.

@Macncheeseballs

Airbubbleme, there have been a couple of cases of women being murdered after nights out in the last year or so, (that I recall) - so are you saying they gained less attention because the women were drunk etc?

I don't know the cases you are referring to but as a former crime reporter I can tell you why some stories make more headlines than others. Quite simply, we are a racist, sexist, classist and youth-centric society. When bad things happen to others we tell ourselves that it was in some way their own fault because it helps us feel safer. In this case even the most judgemental, sexist and racist person would struggle to argue that the victim contributed to her death so it raises more horror than for example the death of a black teenage runaway or a homeless man. There is an acceptance that some lives are considered more valuable than others. I don't say I agree with this, just that news is a business and there are elements to what makes a big story.

@FortunesFave

Bluntness so why this case? What's different about it? I'm genuinely interested to know what's different about this one that's made so much press compared with other murder victims...who deserve just as much attention. Any ideas?

This makes interesting and depressing reading

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_white_woman_syndrome

Why do people like her always bring up male mental health when people are trying to discuss violence against women? What about women's mental health?

I don't think she should take the tweet down, but I also think people are entitled to call her out on it.

I found it a tone deaf tweet along the lines of ‘what about the menz’

Men matter too but as of this moment, it’s about women’s safety and women’s mental health.

She needs a long hard look at herself and reasons for posting and keeping that up. Say what you want but don’t be all coy and surprised when you get a reaction.

She's really not reading the room is she?

Seeing the analogy about ticks this morning was perfect for me - no, it's not 'all' men but it's common and frequent enough to realise it's 'enough' men, hence the risk

I'm with Davina.

Not sure about the mental health angle but she is right that it's not useful to make this all about men being bad generically. That MP saying there should be a curfew on men was ridiculous.

Seriously if we haven't got the civility to disagree in a manner which is to agree to disagree then we have lost our ability to be civil

Really, redtoothbrush? Those Brexit threads you preside over are hardly civil - at least until they became echo chambers. I didn’t notice you stepping in with comments like you’ve just posted.

It's poor logic to suggest that abduction and murder of women is rare so therefore the threat of male violence is also rare.

Part of the reason it is rare is that many women, myself included, adapt our behaviour and self-exclude from night-time landscapes. I am so fed up of this injustice and angry at those minimising it.

I think a lot of men are not honest with themselves about how they treat women - sexist banter as teenagers, pushy advances, it all counts. I think my husband was very honest about it. A lot of men are not. I can think of at least 10 men who have behaved towards me in an inappropriate way - as a previous poster said, it must be a very busy minority. It is not the sort of behaviour that leads to abduction and tape, but it sure leads to letting a colleague off for indecent exposure.

@Viviennemary

That is her opinion and she is entitled to it. I don't think all men should get the label of evil rapist and murderers because of what some men do. No more than women should get a label because of what evil women have done.

Or Muslims. No one thinks it's acceptable to blame all Muslims for Islamist terrorism, even though all Islamist terrorists are muslim. Or to blame black people in general for crime committed by a small number of black people. So I really don't see the issue with "not all men".

@Poofurburrball but most people I know, men and women self-exclude themselves from ‘night-time landscapes’.

No idea why my last post was deleted, how ridiculous

OK, so the attacks are done by a minority but there is a hell of a lot of men who have done low-level things to women or stand by and watch.

I was once held in a corner by a drunk man for what felt like an eternity. It was probably about 10 minutes. 10 men stood there and did nothing for fear of getting a pounding themselves from this massive rugby player. I thought he was going to rape me in front of them. Come to think of it I have been very close a few times to being attacked. I am lucky that I wasn't.

My "lovely and gentle" DH came home last year disgusted at the way 3 teen schoolboys sexually harassed a schoolgirl and called her disgusting things on the train. Apparently, she cried. He wasn't disgusted enough to stand up and tell them to stop and nor were the other men on the train on the packed commute from London. If I had been on that train I would have ripped those boys a new arsehole and got enough info to deeply embarrass their headmaster the next day into taking action against them.

I also remember my DH telling me he was glad he had sons as he couldn't handle the stress of a girl because "I know how men think".

I didn't say they are responsible I said they're part of the problem if they choose to laugh at a a rape joke, look the other way while their mate car calls a 12 year old girl in their school uniform.