Davina McCall's tweet

[SummerWhisper]

Davina McCall tweeted that female abduction / murder is extremely rare and that this level of fearmongering isn't good for men's mental health.

I don't understand why she is attempting to shift the narrative back to how men are feeling after yet another woman's life has been brutally ended BY A MAN.

For fuck's sake, Davina, we have a prominent voice this week, a huge platform to raise awareness about how most of us have to make so many micro- and macro-adjustments to allow for men's violence and here you are, putting men's health in the centre of all this.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should apologise and remove her tweet?

@Losttheequipment

I really hate this notion that people are not allowed to have an unpopular opinion any more. It’s not in any way healthy for our society to seek to shut down an opinion that doesn’t conform to the mass rule one.

Totally agree. It’s her opinion. She has voiced it.

Personally I worry what this discourse means for the family. They don’t deserve any of this and should be the people we respect in this matter.

@NailsNeedDoing

She’s making a valid point and I agree with her. It’s not ok to blame ‘men’ for the violent actions of a few people.

I don't think I'd blame all men - and I don't think anyone here is - but if your perfectly lovely dad/husband/son/brother doesn't do these things BUT does nothing to counter the actions of his sex then he is adding to the problem.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should apologise and remove her tweet?

Yes that is fucking ridiculous. For my own personal reasons I dislike her post but she doesn’t need to appologise and delete for having a different view and I sincerely hope she doesn’t.

I agree with you completely @AspergersMum.

I had a very interesting conversation with my husband - he is a solid feminist and is your classic ‘nice guy’. We’ve been together since we were 15 but he really thought about ‘all men’ and said he probably had harassed women when he was younger. A combination of hormones, social awkwardness and the fact women are conditioned to be polite to men and not just say ‘no’ outright. If he has, I can almost guarantee that ALL men have at sometime. They just don’t want to think about it.

It's not 'a few people' - it's predominantly men.

No, not all men; yes, men can be victims too.

The problem is male violence.

Today is the anniversary of the Dunblane massacre.

There's a common denominator.

We're finally, finally reaching a tipping-point where feminist analysis of the problem of male violence is gojng mainstream.

Where many people, not just feminists, not just women, can see it and name it.

That is what is different about this case: not any 'particulars' about it - but that many people can put it in a wider context.

As for Davina's tweet? Well, she's not there yet. Lots aren't.

That doesn't matter, really.

Because the fact is, many, many people are there.

And we're ready for change.

@BoomBoomsCousin you know how many men there are in the country it id not the vast majority at all , most men I know are not like this
And some of us as mothers of boys do take great offence to this
You would not say vast majority about any other notion if some people did it
No wonder Davina etc feel need to speak out
Tarring all with same brush
And also all this we must shut anyone down who doesn't agree, her opinion is as valid as yours
Fighting for tougher sentences and so many more things is betted than sweeping statements

What if someone said "all women" do x, y or z ? They would be hounded for stereotyping - double standards

@thegreenlight

I had a very interesting conversation with my husband - he is a solid feminist and is your classic ‘nice guy’. We’ve been together since we were 15 but he really thought about ‘all men’ and said he probably had harassed women when he was younger. A combination of hormones, social awkwardness and the fact women are conditioned to be polite to men and not just say ‘no’ outright. If he has, I can almost guarantee that ALL men have at sometime. They just don’t want to think about it.

No, you really cannot almost guarantee that All men have just because your husband did.

I don't think I'd blame all men - and I don't think anyone here is - but if your perfectly lovely dad/husband/son/brother doesn't do these things BUT does nothing to counter the actions of his sex then he is adding to the problem.

I don’t agree with this. Same as I don’t agree that all innocent Muslims should be forced into dealing with Islamist terrorism, or all innocent Jews should be blamed for the actions of the Israeli government, or all innocent Mothers should do something about those mothers that neglect their children or all innocent shoppers should be expected to do something about those that shoplift.

Innocent people who go about life minding their own business and not hurting anyone are not responsible for the actions of violent individuals, and should not be expected to try and modify other people’s behaviour.

@Acesulfame

I don’t necessarily agree with the tweet but I’m unclear why you think she should apologise and delete it. You disagree with it so it shouldn’t exist? She’s entitled to her opinion and to express it. You’re entitled to disagree. That’s that really isn’t it?

This.

Free speech is so important.

Bullying and ''Cancel culture'' is starting to get an unhealthy hold on the media.

Sharon Osbourne was bullied into a grovelling apology because she agreed with Piers Morgan about the discrepancies in the Oprah show.

Obviously not all men are bad.

What if someone said "all women" do x, y or z ? They would be hounded for stereotyping - double standards

We already know it's not all men. But we also know that it generally is men who are the perpetrators. It's not stereotyping, it's a fact. Men attack women. Men attack men. Which is why there is about 77,000 male prison places compared to around 3,400 female prison places. And the crimes women get convicted of (such as non payment of TV licence) are generally not the same violent / destructive crimes that men go to prison for.

but if your perfectly lovely dad/husband/son/brother doesn't do these things BUT does nothing to counter the actions of his sex then he is adding to the problem

Genuine question- what are they meant to do?

The men who do these awful things know it’s wrong. They already know. That’s part of the ‘thrill’ for them.

@NailsNeedDoing
Yeah it gets on very shaky ground when you start saying “you need to start protesting/confronting people because you share X demographic with them”.

Quite apart from the blaming of people based on a demographic they had no or little choice on belonging to (sex, race, ethnicity, sometimes religion) there’s another bigger problem. Suddenly that problem is “there’s alone” to “sort out”. We don’t need to address the problems at the roots of society anymore - broken homes, drugs, crime, dangerous and dirty communities, underfunded schools, massive regional and area inequality. Forget all that. We just need Demograophic X to “speak out” and everything will be rosy.

If he has, I can almost guarantee that ALL men have at sometime. They just don’t want to think about it

This is not a fair statement at all

@GCAcademic

She's always been thick as shit, but she's allowed her dumb opinion.

As if any man cares enough about this for it to affect their mental health. It's amazing the cognitive lengths some people will go to to centre men in everything.

I thought she went to Cambridge ?

Oh dear god. Should we be demanding deletions and apologies for everything in life?

Seriously this is worse than anything tweeted.

In a healthy society disagreement and diversity of opinion is encouraged and supported.

We then debate like adults and come to a opinion from that.

We don't go 'shut up you said something i dont like apologise for it' which is what our culture and society have become obsessed with doing.

Its fundamentally undemocratic and unhealthy.

It stinks.

Seriously if we haven't got the civility to disagree in a manner which is to agree to disagree then we have lost our ability to be civil.

At this point you alienate people and get their backs up and this encourages a backlash and polarisation.

This cancel / delete stuff is as abhorrent as any other kind of bigotry.

@oakleaffy

Free speech is so important.

Bullying and ''Cancel culture'' is starting to get an unhealthy hold on the media.

Sharon Osbourne was bullied into a grovelling apology because she agreed with Piers Morgan about the discrepancies in the Oprah show.

Obviously not all men are bad.

Try again. Try telling the truth this time about why she apologised. I will not hold my breath though.

@twelly

What if someone said "all women" do x, y or z ? They would be hounded for stereotyping - double standards

My point is it isn't " all men", this is the same as "all teenagers" "all old people" "all where people" " all asian people" " all Muslims" " - generalisations are dangerous.

Her response about she wouldn’t walk alone in the dark is victim blaming

But I don’t agree with deleting such tweets she has shown she has a lack of understanding about the discussion being had (which I am not overly surprised at) I think she is trying to not be too controversial and show she still supports men

And it backfired

Agree with her. The vast majority of men don’t harass, rape or murder women. And this incident was rare in that it was committed by a stranger. Most rapes and murders of women happen within the home, and by people they know.

I thought she went to Cambridge?

Her Wikipedia page doesn’t say anything beyond A levels under Education.

Not one person on here has said all men are guilty of the worst sorts of male violence. Microagressions and lower level stuff, as described on the thread....hmmmmm not all men, but yes, a lot. The bum smacking, the mansplaining, the harassment, the cat calling, hitting on a woman at work and then taking the hump and making their lives hard when they turn you down. Little things they probably didn't notice they were doing at the time maybe. I'd say it was probably common. Couldn't put a figure on it though.

And although I’ll probably get flamed for saying this - a lot of people, both men and women, who commit heinous crimes are products of dysfunctional families, where they have been raised by both mothers and fathers who have neglected and abused them. Obviously not always the case, but most of the time.