Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 29 30 31 ··· 39 40

Original poster

The problem with "#NotAllMen"

999 replies

TheABC · 12/03/2021 21:18

I read this on the BBC and it beautifully sums up the doublethink problem women face in society.

*"...some people are keen to point out that it's a tiny minority of men who are attackers - using the hashtag #NotAllMen.

"The issue with the argument is that women can't win," says Daisy.

"They want women to not treat all men as potential attackers, but then we also are asked to keep ourselves safe.

"Keeping ourselves safe means that we have to see everyone as potential attackers because if we were to say, 'OK, not all men, we will treat everyone as innocent until proven guilty", that's when these things happen.

"And that's when people say, she should have been more careful.

"So it's really tough, because I think it's an attitude that's really built into society."*

Is she (and I) being unreasonable?

OP posts:

MistressoftheDarkSide · 15/03/2021 16:06

@Devlesko

Figuring out why some people behave the way they do, and which people are most likely to do so in order to help them and wider society is a very important part of this I feel.

Pumperthepumper · 15/03/2021 16:06

@Flowers24

I should educate my husband and son not to murder people? Errrr no, we should all be educated not to murder people ?

Except it’s overwhelmingly males who commit violence. So if your husband and son stood up, they would be massively helping other men, if helping women wasn’t their main concern.

Flowers24 · 15/03/2021 16:07

Exactly, 'people' there will always be violent 'people' agressive people, racist people, we all need to be educated and be understanding in society as a whole, bashing men isnt helping and all lives do matter, dont they?

Pumperthepumper · 15/03/2021 16:07

@Flowers24

Who’s bashing men?

Flowers24 · 15/03/2021 16:08

I think my husband and son, and any other males in my family already know this thanks very much!!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 15/03/2021 16:08

No was about jokes on sex, jokes about any group , jokes about anything seems you cant say anything now or have a laugh But which post said anything about that other than the one that referenced Charlotte Church?

Pumperthepumper · 15/03/2021 16:09

@Flowers24

I think my husband and son, and any other males in my family already know this thanks very much!!

Know what?

enigma16 · 15/03/2021 16:09

Well, Flowers24, can I ask you directly again, what do you think of that story, of Chris Moyles counting down to CC being legal for sex, and do you think 'not all men are like that'? I think loads of men are like that, perving over young girls and treating women as sexual objects.

Flowers24 · 15/03/2021 16:09

Other jokes were mentioned but i am not explaining myself to you.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 15/03/2021 16:09

Ok @Flowers24.

The timing of your post suggested a specific response to the Charlotte Church issue.

Can you expand on the subject of not being allowed to joke about anything any more?

Flowers24 · 15/03/2021 16:10

I am not aware of Chris Moyles doing that but yes it is inappropriate, and i do not think all men are like that no.

LolaSmiles · 15/03/2021 16:10

No was about jokes on sex, jokes about any group , jokes about anything seems you cant say anything now or have a laugh
You're right. It's political correctness gone mad, in the good old days there was nothing wrong with some good ol'fashioned homophobia and they took that off us. Now they're coming after misogynistic jokes. There's going to be nothing left to laugh at soon.

If you really feel you can't say anything or have a laugh because people challenging oppression means your topics of conversation/jokes/banter are under attack, it might be time to consider why that is.

I think back to school and people used to joke about 'gays' and use gay as an insult. Not once have I thought to myself 'eeeh you know what, I have no idea what to talk about and can't find any humour in life now most of society has challenged homophobic slurs'.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 15/03/2021 16:11

Maybe you could just mention which other jokes you are referring to? I'm a bit lost here and don't want to make erroneous assumptions.

Pumperthepumper · 15/03/2021 16:12

It’s so strange how many Good Men talked about on these threads often don’t give a shit about murder, rape, sexualisation of children, protecting women or children, or even other men.

It’s like there’s an invisible marker of Good Man, like if you say it enough that’ll do. It’s a weird contradiction of words and actions.

mbosnz · 15/03/2021 16:14

Second verse, same as the first. Next shift of the #NAMALTers, please report for duty! Now, here's your hymn sheet. . .mind you, I don't think you'll find the songs anything terribly new, or difficult for you. . .

2021ismyyear · 15/03/2021 16:17

Flowers... these people are trying to make you stumble on your words so they can say “hah I was right” do not give them that opportunity. That’s why they keep asking you dumb questions.

A question to the men haters: In my circle of friends most people think like me. I have several police officer friends too. Do you think it’s ok that some of the female protesters at the weekend told a female police officer that it “should have been you not Sarah”. Disgusting behaviour.

All I hear is “we are not man bashing but (insert man bashing statement)”

Flowers24 · 15/03/2021 16:17

@MistressoftheDarkSide

Maybe you could just mention which other jokes you are referring to? I'm a bit lost here and don't want to make erroneous assumptions.

You are already well down the road of making assumptions about me and I dont like being victimised.

Flowers24 · 15/03/2021 16:18

@2021ismyyear

Flowers... these people are trying to make you stumble on your words so they can say “hah I was right” do not give them that opportunity. That’s why they keep asking you dumb questions.

All I hear is “we are not man bashing but (insert man bashing statement)”

Thats another side to it, I agree we dont know what actually happened there and it is very wrong for a woman to say it should have been the police officer I agree. There is always another side to the story isnt there?

mbosnz · 15/03/2021 16:19

In my circle of friends most people think like me.

That comes as absolutely no surprise. Like tends to like. .

LolaSmiles · 15/03/2021 16:19

mbosnz
In addition to hymn sheets I've also got a set of bingo cards at the ready. There's some spare dabbers too.

You are already well down the road of making assumptions about me and I dont like being victimised
What is it with posters on these threads dishing it out and then when they get challenged playing the victim card? It's really strange.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 15/03/2021 16:20

@Flowers24

I am truly sorry I have offended you.

Flowers24 · 15/03/2021 16:21

Not dishing anything out but stating what i think, as this is a discussion, one posted is repeatedly asking me over and over, trying to intimidate and I will not tolerate that.

mbosnz · 15/03/2021 16:22

Oh cripes, if I play wine bingo with this lot, I'd get pissed as a fart.

2021, tell me, I've been wondering, how is poor old Steve? Thoughts and prayers there, for the poor hypothetical fellow.

Flowers24 · 15/03/2021 16:23

Sorry, I was belittled and bullied by women in the workplace years ago as have always been a shy person, i wont put up with it now.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 15/03/2021 16:24

In good faith, we were just trying to clarify something and nip a potentially erroneous subject in the bud. I do feel it was a genuine engagement.

Flip

1 2 ··· 29 30 31 ··· 39 40