My Father raised me more like a boy than a girl too,
Didn’t stop the fact that, whilst he was with me in restaurants and on holiday in the U.K., at aged TEN and TWELVE, I was verbally sexually harassed by groups of men his age.
At aged 12, in a busy McDonalds at 12pm on a Saturday I was sexually assaulted whilst surrounded by people. Someone in the crowd, grabbed me and started touching my bottom and vulva. What’s my Dad got to do with that? Could any father stop a man with bad intentions? If we want to carry on with the victim blaming... I was wearing jeans, trainers, a baggy sweatshirt. Oh...and I was a child...
And despite never doing internet dating, not being much of a clubber, not walking home alone at night, not being a “princess”...the harassment continued into adulthood. Does it make any difference that I was a virgin until I was married too?
On public transport in broad daylight.
At church (several times!)
Walking home from work in broad daylight.
In every place of education I’ve ever been in except nursery - school, university, night school, 3 day first aid at work ffs!
By workmen in my own home.
By a doctor, in the presence of my mother, aged 15.
Obviously I gave up my broad daylight runs outside my house because everyone knows that’s just asking for it right?
I’ve had to involve police at times. Other times I’ve been too scared to involve police.
No upbringing or behaviour, or way of dressing, or curtailing of your own life etc etc can stop men determined on harassing, abusing, or degrading you. Sometimes you just have to be a woman or a female child in the presence of a man or teenage boy. That’s all it takes.
Let’s not say a different upbringing or changing your behaviour or the way you dress can change anything. It’s the toxic culture we have that needs changing. It’s so disrespectful to women to suggest that maybe the way you carry yourself or dress is what’s made you one of the lucky ones.