Is there any woman who hasn’t experienced male harrassment

[Twintub]

I was thinking about this and was initially thinking things have massively improved since I was young in the 80’s. I experienced flashers, a teacher tried to kiss me in high school he was married baby on the way, a pub boss whose girlfriend worked with him tried to kiss and grope me and another middle aged boss in my late 20s that pulled my trousers down at a night away for work. There were many more. Now I’m in my 40s I thought I don’t get bothered much but then I remembered 2 other pre covid instances. One late night train a drunk guy tried to chat to friend she politely said she wasn't interested and he got Aggressive calling her a speccy lesbian. Another instance my friend and I in a pub and a middle aged drunk man obviously on a business trip chatted up my friend she wasn’t interested I very nicely said we are just having a chat he turned on me and called me an ugly bitch He wasn’t talk h to me and I wasn’t a patch on her etc etc his work mates dragged him away.

What amazes me is men behave like this bit raise daughters who in turn get treated like this.

Namenic that's not what it's about.

Most women say that the worst time was when they were young, and schoolgirls seem to be a popular target.

Because they are young and naive. They are more likely to be scared, not know what to do etc.

The idea also keeps coming up about what women and girls are counting as harassment, with a subtext that maybe they're over reacting or something.

For me and my friends it was stuff like

Being shouted at out of cars (get your tits out etc)
Being followed at night
Stray hands on public transport
Being followed
Being masturbated at

I once had a couple of men drive slowly next to me saying come on get in the car

And a friend had a bus driver say he'd let her off her fare if he could feel her tits. She was 13.

I mean that's the more 'trivial' stuff I won't share the other stuff.

Does any of that count as harassment do you think? Where is your line?

While some might say they never have it has become so accepted and the norm that people are largely blind to it and accept it.

Sometimes you have to tell women what harassment is in order for them to actually see they have in fact been a victim of this.

Every woman I know has and multiple times. I think every woman has.

@HaNNaHC92

I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

I can only assume you live in a nunnery.

My lovely friend got punched full in the face on a train aged 18. Massive black eye. The staff were lovely and ensured her mum picked her up at the other end. There were lots of tears when my friend got to our home city train from my friends mum and the lovely train staff. I didn’t think much of it at the time but actually was totally appalling and shocking.

Oh and it was a man that punched her. Broad day light. She had turned down his “advances”. Politely.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 12 by an 18 year old, and then drugged and raped when I was 16 by a 28 year old.

Those two major incidents aside, I have also been constantly shouted at from cars, not just lewd comments but horrible ones too, had hands up my skirt in nightclubs, and men that send unsolicited videos of them wanking. A stranger forced his way in to my home and I had to literally shove him inch by inch along the hallway and boot him out, slamming the door on his leg. I woke up at a party where I was staying over with a stranger in the bed, rubbing my inner thigh. I lived in a house share when I was 16 and was treated to my flat mates uncle inviting himself in to my room where he sat on my bed and berated me for being a stuck up prude that nobody liked, all because I’d turned him down. I was coerced into giving my boss a bj on a night out when I was 18. I was flashed at twice by the local pervert as a young girl of about 11(I think that may have been the first time I saw an erect penis?!). I caught my boss wanking in a cupboard when I was a summer temp at about age 16.

Even last summer I was sat outside eating my lunch at work and an old man in his late 50s stopped cycling to talk to me, telling me I was beautiful and it was a good job there was a wire fence in the way because he would kiss me. I told him it was a good job the wire fence was in the way because I would kick him in the bollocks.

I’m extremely confident and self assured, which I think makes it worse because men want us to be small and quiet so they see me as a challenge. It’s relentless.

@Iqqq

I've been harassed by both men and women

Me too.

And being harassed by the woman was equally bad if not worse.

I was shouted and sworn at today by a man. Picked the kids up from school and walked back to my car and got in (parked in a permit holders space - I have a permit just for school pick-up times). This car came the other way. He blocked me getting out, wound down his window and starting shouting and swearing at me. I assume he thought I didn't have a permit but I switched on the engine to drown him out. He had his teenage son sitting next to him. The obligatory two finger salute as he drove off. Not sexual harassment but pretty unpleasant.

Mid 50s and honestly dont think I ever have been tbh. Experienced sex discrimination but not unwanted touching or harrassment.

So many.
Badly bullied by boys in primary and the same boys on the bus to high school. I was too ugly to be worthy of anything but derision.

The whistling/slowing down of cars.
Being followed in broad daylight through a city streets. I was 17, out shopping. I hid in a group of random lads of a similar age and pretended I was with them.
The lift home with a bloke who got weird about my legs.
The groping. Fucking hell, the groping at every gig or night out. By 21,I would try to catch their fingers and bend them back. But only if was out with a gang of people.
Being asked to get in bloke's car as I walked to work in Liverpool City centre in Broad daylight.
Then the emotionally and physically abusive older bf.
Being told we only hired you cos of your tits' in the dodgy gas company I worked at. Then being taken for drives my the salesman, so he could tell the driver guys he shagged me. Delivery drivers dropping their pants and mooning me. Buy it was thy 90s and I was of the lads, innit?
The previous all under 25
The time I walked past a group of council workers with my 4 yr old and they looked me up and down , looked at each other and one said:"don't think I would. " I complained to the council about that. But they didn't agree with the context. Presumably they'd also never heard men commenting:"I would/ wouldn't 'when looking at women.

Having a group of teenage lads push each other into me as ai went on a run, in broad daylight.

Probably more. But I think the bulk are when I was young.

I hope... I think... this is cathartic for everyone talking about this.

It is good.

And there are no excuses for this sort of stuff.

Nothing to do with our fathers, our kick arse demeanours, absolutely nothing.

If we can remember it, it's bad.

I’m 45 and have experienced countless casual incidences of harassment and 2 absolutely terrifying ones - one of which I am convinced I would have been raped or worse if i had not actually sprinted round a corner and a stranger had not answered her door.

The worst experiences I had were as a teenager and living in a big city. As I get older they are fewer but I still cannot relax e.g. when walking the 15 minutes home from the train station in the suburban village where I now live.

I find it interesting that I work in a male dominated area and have not experienced any harassment at work...only from strangers and sleazy bosses when I was a waitress.

Sexually harassed at work, sexually assaulted by the father of the children I was babysitting for, exposed at on at least three occasions.

I had a very depressing conversation with my young adult daughter about this very topic yesterday.

Things have not changed one bit since I was her age. She told me that she and every single one of her friends suffer from harassment of one sort or another, and it happens all the time.

I am n my early 30s.
The first time a strange man harassed me I was around 8 years old.
A male teacher slapped my arse and made comments when I was 15. I did not report him.
At 18, I had to deal with men in pubs who would not take no for an answer.
At 21, in my first "proper" job, I had some pervy colleagues who would make suggestive comments and send strange messages. More than 1.
I don't think these experiences are unique.

This shit has been going on for decades! At least 50 years for me. I've lost count of the number of unwanted touches, indecent exposures, propositions etc etc. The one that really sticks in my mind concerns my DSis though. We were in a nightclub 20 odd years ago and were sick and tired of the indecent touches we were receiving every time we moved. Anyway, I'm having a little dance and looked over to see my DSis (all 5' 3" of her) with her hands wrapped round a bloke's collar and almost pushing him over a balcony, apparently he touched her once too often. His mates were dismayed at her actions, obviously I became involved and after a few words they apologised for him, dear little love had had a few too many and it was his stag do! My only regret is that we didn't have him thrown out of the nightclub. My DSis never takes any shit and he was lucky he didn't go over the balcony that night. Sounds like I'm condoning violence but by the look on his face I think he learned a lesson that night.

I have been harassed and assaulted more times than I can count, no sooner do I recall a few incidents than others come back to me. I grew up in the 70s when it was all treated as a bit of fun, those were Benny Hill days. But it was always unpleasant and upsetting.

The first time was at a village social event when I was repeatedly groped and bottom pinched. I was 10 and wearing a long dress my mother had made for me.

@Twintub

HaNNaHC92 I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

I’d love to hear this was true for the generation below mine but I suspect it’s not

You are very lucky, at aged 8 I remember being physically bullied by a male friend who threatened to push me into the road if I didn't do what he said. I was abused by boys at a holiday camp (for poor kids, who were sent away without their parents). Caregivers just laughed. I was sexually and physically abused by my stepfather. I have been sexually and physically attacked in my late teens and early twenties in employment situations. I have been regularly sexually harassed walking past building sites/along the street etc. From as young as 11. I have been in two domestically abusive relationships. I was raped when I was 19. I am 51. My story is not an isolated one.

I once had a bloke ask for directions. Then interrupted me half way to say he was going to do an audition for a chipindale ( was not quite skinny and short) . Then asks if he could demonstrate his auditor piece behind the bushes. I just ran. I was 19 at the time.
Another time I was followed on a train. I kept moving carriages and he kept following me. I was scared but didnt think to ask for help.
I eventually pretended to get off but then quickly got back on leaving him on the platform.
I was 21 at the time.

@Twintub

HaNNaHC92 I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

I’d love to hear this was true for the generation below mine but I suspect it’s not

And how dare you minimise women's experiences.

Never been harassed at work.
Never been harassed outside.
Discussed this with my friends and only one said they had experienced any issues.

cabbageking

Lucky you and your friends.

I hope you are not minimising what othrs have gone through on here

Typo was short and skinny

Audition not auditor!

@IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0

Women who fee harrassed by men should leran to give it back - two examples - A young co-teacher at the school where I taught was catcalled by a few teenage pupils on a street in the town asking her to her "sck their dcks" - she answered "okay, tomorrow morning after register in the principal's office. They ran. I was approached by a man on the busy street where I live and was told he wanted to f*ck me NOW! I said, okay, I know the owners of this pub, we can go in there now if you want, they have a back room we could use - but it may happen that you don't get back out of this pub alive. He ran! Don't let yourselves be harrassed - give as good as you get!

We shouldn’t have to put up with this, that’s the whole point. It’s not because we are all incapable of “giving as good as we get”. Would you say the same to a 12 year old girl? It happens to them too.

YANBU. Worst incident was being harassed on a packed commuter train, random man started saying what he was going to do to me, follow me to work etc. I froze. Noone said a word until some random guy appeared from carriage and told him to do one. It was a few years ago but I have never forgotten the freeze feeling I got. I just sat there listening to him..It was awful. Lots of 'minor' incidents, groped in a club etc, jokes about the well known village flasher. Hopefully this relegated to a long gone era but perhaps not.