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Original poster

Is there any woman who hasn’t experienced male harrassment

999 replies

Twintub · 12/03/2021 08:31

I was thinking about this and was initially thinking things have massively improved since I was young in the 80’s. I experienced flashers, a teacher tried to kiss me in high school he was married baby on the way, a pub boss whose girlfriend worked with him tried to kiss and grope me and another middle aged boss in my late 20s that pulled my trousers down at a night away for work. There were many more. Now I’m in my 40s I thought I don’t get bothered much but then I remembered 2 other pre covid instances. One late night train a drunk guy tried to chat to friend she politely said she wasn't interested and he got Aggressive calling her a speccy lesbian. Another instance my friend and I in a pub and a middle aged drunk man obviously on a business trip chatted up my friend she wasn’t interested I very nicely said we are just having a chat he turned on me and called me an ugly bitch He wasn’t talk h to me and I wasn’t a patch on her etc etc his work mates dragged him away.

What amazes me is men behave like this bit raise daughters who in turn get treated like this.

OP posts:
Warwick82 · 12/03/2021 18:02

Me. I’ve experienced zero harassment from men.

user1471539324 · 12/03/2021 18:03

@HaNNaHC92

I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.
Just because this is your single experience, please don’t understand extrapolate and come to the conclusion that you speak for the rest of us. There have been studies which show the majority of women do not share your experience,
LexMitior · 12/03/2021 18:07

Well, those of you who have been lucky enough not to be subject to this, perhaps you should talk to your female friends! Might be enlightening

WouldstrokeTomHardy · 12/03/2021 18:09

I'm amazed at those saying they haven't. Have you not even had the classic cheer up darlin? Nothing?

emilyfrost · 12/03/2021 18:09

@LexMitior

Well, those of you who have been lucky enough not to be subject to this, perhaps you should talk to your female friends! Might be enlightening
Why? What would be the point? I’m not denying it happens, yet quite a few people seem to want to believe everyone has experienced it when that simply isn’t true.
mbosnz · 12/03/2021 18:10

Oh yes, the, 'you'd be so much prettier if you smiled, c'mon, giz a smile'. . . I swear that started when I was still in fecking nappies.

PrtScn · 12/03/2021 18:10

@HaNNaHC92

I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.
Do you never leave the house? You probably just filter it out, I don’t believe there is woman on this planet that has never experienced some form of male harrassment, especially a young woman. I’m passed my prime and still get it, albeit significantly reduced.
LexMitior · 12/03/2021 18:11

Empathy, emily

GoLightlyontheEarth · 12/03/2021 18:13

@FOTTFSOFTFOASM

I have never experienced harassment (contrary to what other people seem to believe is "impossible", I have never been groped, had attentions forced upon me, etc, etc, etc). I'm in my 40s.

However, I have taken gross advantage over the years of being blonde, petite and pretty, when it comes to dealing with men. I am sure this is not very woke, but it has never failed to get the result I've wanted.

Thanks for that. Ever thought about how that impacts other women? Do you enjoy being seen as an object ?
Sn0tnose · 12/03/2021 18:13

There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been

Speak to your female friends, your colleagues, your aunts, your sisters, your neighbours. If you truly have never been catcalled, groped in a club, yelled at by builders, felt uneasy around a man because the way he’s looking at you etc, then that is wonderful, but you are very much in the minority.

willstarttomorrow · 12/03/2021 18:20

I have already posted my experiences growing up but as a 45 year old woman with a teenage girl, things are probably getting worse. I work in child protection and lots of friends work in high schools- access to porn is so bloody easy and the nature of that porn is totally changing the way young boys see sex. I know every parent on here will say 'not my son'. But if it is not your son it is his mates, it is everywhere. Boys from the most exclusive fee paying school around here have been up on sexual assault charges, which is not a massive suprise. We need to teach our boys how that women are their equal rather than our girls that they have to live in fear.

Howmanysleepsnow · 12/03/2021 18:24

I’m 42. I’ve been raped. I’ve been punched in the face by a man in a club when I removed his hand from where it shouldn’t have been. I had a male boss grab me and kiss me forcibly on a night out. Plus the “usual groping attempts/ cat calls/ whistles etc. These latter include present day from groups of kids in their teens, so I’d hazard a guess things aren’t improving.

LexMitior · 12/03/2021 18:25

Just on schools - I would agree there is a problem. Boys develop earlier, and you get seriously worrying behaviour at younger ages, including primary schools.

The bar is too low for schools - I would not tolerate some of the conduct in the workplace that occurs in schools.

Delphinium20 · 12/03/2021 18:29

I have only known one woman (at the time we talked she was in her 40s) who said she had never experienced sexual harassment from men. I don't think she was lying because she always believed other women.

However...she grew up on a ranch in a scarcely populated state and went to a school with about 50 kids in total. When she went to college she had a 6'4, football built boyfriend almost the first month she attended, they dated exclusively until they eventually married. She was the type who didn't party, hated being alone (probably due to the ranch upbringing!) and went to bed early.

Soundbyte · 12/03/2021 18:32

I started experiencing crap like horn honking, wolf whistles and sexual stuff shouted at me out of cars from the age of 11. I was small and short for my age and hadn’t developed at all, I can only think that the uniform was the difference from end of July that year to the start of September.

I’ve had several ‘minor’ incidents, groping and so on. 2 stalkers, 1 date rape and an attempted strangulation. The strangulation is the only thing that ended with a conviction. I’ve also managed to get away from one attempted assault, nothing particularly brave on my part just the guy who was trying to restrain me and gave me a black eye was a bit too drunk to fully execute his intentions

I don’t think I know a single woman who doesn’t have a story to tell. I know many women who stories plural.

It. Has. To. Stop.

User26272829 · 12/03/2021 18:32

@FOTTFSOFTFOASM

I have never experienced harassment (contrary to what other people seem to believe is "impossible", I have never been groped, had attentions forced upon me, etc, etc, etc). I'm in my 40s.

However, I have taken gross advantage over the years of being blonde, petite and pretty, when it comes to dealing with men. I am sure this is not very woke, but it has never failed to get the result I've wanted.

This is just so disappointing! What’s the point you’re trying to make? Are you saying that the reason we’ve been harassed is because we didn’t use our feminine wiles to placate the men? You know because they can’t possibly be expected to control themselvesHmm? You may be happy to pander to sleazy men, however I never invited the groping, it’s normally done without warning. I’ve sometimes called them out when they’ve done it, smacked hands away etc, but it doesn’t mean we should have to tolerate it. Also some men can be be violent when their advances are rejected, so there’s always that fear.
mybonnieliesovertheocean2 · 12/03/2021 18:33

In the subject of schools my DD school had to set up sessions for boys around respect etc. This was due to increasing issues with boys attitudes to girls, another boys school had the police in because of boys grooming girls over months asking for nude shots, then when the girl finally sent one they screen shot it and shared it.

AnnaFiveTowns · 12/03/2021 18:35

On a daily basis as a school girl /teen / young woman. Less so now but then I rarely go out at night or use public transport anymore and middle aged women generally become less of a target (although it does still happen)

bonbonours · 12/03/2021 18:36

I'm 43 and must be pretty lucky as I haven't experienced anything traumatic along those lines, even in Russia in the 1990s, which I would argue was generally sexist / more backwards in gender equality. I've probably been wolf whistled etc a few times but nothing that made me feel unsafe or upset.

LexMitior · 12/03/2021 18:37

@mybonnieliesovertheocean2 - yes girls have to endure treatment we did not at their age. Sex was not a thing at school except at older ages of 15, 16.

upthekyber · 12/03/2021 18:38

I think you will get the odd person who will say they haven't, I have known people in real life say they haven't and when in the pub and someone's say, but what about when, the reaction was well that doesn't really count, or he didn't mean it, or it was my fault, I over reacted or a million other conditioned responses.
I am 50 and at some points in my life it has been a daily occurrence. I was am a nurse and wore a uniform and until you have walked from a nurses home by a seafront or two places I worked were by football grounds....
Smile, sit on my knee, fancy a kiss, come on darling don't be rude, come over here, you ever worn crotch less knickers, only 3 things in life are certain, death, taxes and a nurse.
I promise I will just go to sleep.
Took me 20 seconds for these

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 12/03/2021 18:41

Not really and I wouldn't consider someone saying cheer uo darling harrassment if they said it once as I walked by.
Same as someone asking me out , as long as they took no for an answer otherwise how would you ever of met anyone.
Groping , assault etc luckily never
I have seen women look at men and comment as they walk by as well.

Nuitsdesetoiles · 12/03/2021 18:42

The driving instructor who tried to bully me into joining in with s gang bang with him and his wife. The mentor when a student nurse who propositioned me in his car with the doors locked. To be honest it's been fairly relentless.

oil0W0lio · 12/03/2021 18:43

When she went to college she had a 6'4, football built boyfriend almost the first month she attended, they dated exclusively until they eventually married
if you are obviously and visibly the 'property' of an 'alpha' the creeps dont bother taking a shot at you cos they'll get it from the 'alpha'

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 12/03/2021 18:43

I also personally wouldn't consider a wolf whistle harrassment as a grown woman but I know some would

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