Is there any woman who hasn’t experienced male harrassment

[Twintub]

I was thinking about this and was initially thinking things have massively improved since I was young in the 80’s. I experienced flashers, a teacher tried to kiss me in high school he was married baby on the way, a pub boss whose girlfriend worked with him tried to kiss and grope me and another middle aged boss in my late 20s that pulled my trousers down at a night away for work. There were many more. Now I’m in my 40s I thought I don’t get bothered much but then I remembered 2 other pre covid instances. One late night train a drunk guy tried to chat to friend she politely said she wasn't interested and he got Aggressive calling her a speccy lesbian. Another instance my friend and I in a pub and a middle aged drunk man obviously on a business trip chatted up my friend she wasn’t interested I very nicely said we are just having a chat he turned on me and called me an ugly bitch He wasn’t talk h to me and I wasn’t a patch on her etc etc his work mates dragged him away.

What amazes me is men behave like this bit raise daughters who in turn get treated like this.

@IHateCoronavirus

Oh and when meeting with my dissertation tutor, I was told that the plump redness of my lips was an evolutionary trick to make men think of ovulating vulva!

I hope you responded by vomiting in his face I would have wanted to

but DrSbaitso you don't get to decide what is too small of a "problem" and can safely be ignored.

You can try to be goady by insisting on people being "offended" when they merely reply to you, you won't make our point disappear. You are of course free to ignore. But you don't get to tell us to be quiet.

I meant they don't notice it because it has been normalised and trivialised so much. Some of us didn't notice anything ..because there was nothing to notice.

Not sure why you are trying to convince yourself that it's an impossible experience.

@TheImber Read the room. 91% of sexual assault victims are women. Of the 9% of men that have been sexually assaulted, the vast majority of perpetrators were men. This thread is not for you.

This thread is shocking. I haven’t experienced anything truly awful, but was flashed at several times at school by a man in the woods. Later, overly insistent men wanting sex with me. Twice I have been been in a phone box and had men follow me in and pressure me for sex. One of these occasions was in Paris. I was absolutely terrified.
My daughter has had men in vans shouting out lewd comments. She was once stranded in town as a teenager.
She tried to call me to pick her up but our phone was off the hook. She was circled by a group of men in a car getting increasingly threatening and she felt she was going to be abducted. When I got there she was shaking and crying with fear.
In India she had a taxi driver try to force himself on her. These are just the ones I know about.

I got shouted at today by some men from a scaffolding while I was walking the dogs. I'm 50.

@PamDemic - and there was DH this morning mansplaining to me that this doesn't happen anymore. His evidence? He doesn't see it happen any more. The actual reason? He barely leaves the fucking house anymore!

My colleague is a woman who thinks that the harassment claims are exaggerated. She is Egyptian and moved to UK at 22. Her upbringing was very different from that of most women brought up in the UK and her cultural norms sometimes seem bizarre to me. She honestly doesn't see catcalling, whistling or comments like "give up a smile" as harassment. It's just "men being men", and as long as they're not touching her, it's ok.

I think that perhaps the women on this thread who say they haven't ever been harassed are maybe using a different measure from others, and in their mind, they really haven't been harassed, but to those whose threshold is different, they have. Being raised in a more sexist culture (eg Arab/North African/Turkish countries) could give you a rather different perspective. That doesn't make you wrong, or deluded, or an apologist.

@ShastaBeast

I think fathers are important in all this, is my simple point. It's not helpful for women to be brought up expecting to be princesses.

This makes me fuming angry. Fuck you a million times.

I'd normally report a post saying "fuck you" but on this occasion it's so deserved. Can't believe we are now "princesses" for wanting to be treated like human beings. Actually, yes I can.

Nope. I was a victim of sexual assault and rape as a teen. I was cornered in a stock room and groped by a boss at work who also liked to walk around naked < not envy. He was in his sixties, myself and other female staff were early twenties. He also liked to sneak up behind us and put pins in our bottoms to make us jump. Cat called, followed at night, flashed, groped by a stranger on the Tube.

I'm a rather "plain Jane", definitely not going out of my way for male attention. I'm mid-thirties, for context.

Older now ,but when v young about 12 or 13 ,whistled at by a boy! Another time a car with a lone male driver tried to get me in about 14 maybe ? Touched "up" when bending over as a youngster in my first job! I could go on .I think those that say they have never experienced this are very lucky or maybe have unknowingly ? The majority of women have sadly .Porn is not helpful ,but these entitled attitudes have been going as long as I recall even on dates or when out for a drink ,when men sidle up and seem to think buying you a drink seems to mean you are theirs for the taking!

Hi@twintub, funny that, my BIL a policeman too.
Hi@oilOWOlio, I’d like to do that but feel I’d come off worse from his family. They all seem to think he’s a charmer.

Molested and sexually abused by an elderly family member when I was seven, for over a year. Parent when informed, asked me why I hadn't told them, and sighed sadly for the abusing family member, that if only the town had prostitutes, that it would never have happened
How horrifying for you mbosnz, and for your parents to brush it under the carpet in such a despicable way

Well they used to flood discussions about sexual harassment women and girls suffer

I never believed they were women

I don’t know one woman who hasn’t been sexually assaulted and most of us have been sexually harassed on too many occasions to remember each individually

Never.

They all seem to think he’s a charmer
a carefully cultivated facade then....

Another one saying great article by Marina Hyde. God I'm getting more and more angry.

(Side note: I also have a wonderful father. And I am confident and don't believe I give off any sort of "well sure boys, do feel free to come and harass me, I won't mind at all" vibe).

I have never experienced harassment (contrary to what other people seem to believe is "impossible", I have never been groped, had attentions forced upon me, etc, etc, etc). I'm in my 40s.

However, I have taken gross advantage over the years of being blonde, petite and pretty, when it comes to dealing with men. I am sure this is not very woke, but it has never failed to get the result I've wanted.

Ugh

Amazed at the ones that haven't been hassled, ever. Just last night I got beeped at and startled by a white van man. All I was doing was walking down a well lit main road. I'm not young, I was wearing a coat, I didn't know them, the behaviour is ingrained. Knob heads.

Just get ready for the “if you had been friendlier, you wouldn’t get harassed or poor treatment by men”

All my life. Now mid 40s. My adult daughters also experience it regularly. When my daughter who has autism was 12 some bastard shouted some filth at her while she was walking with her dad. The tough guy was driving past in a van.

More times than I can remember.

The first time I was 12 or 13, and a 30 something year old walked behind me and put his hand right been my legs. I was harassed by my cousin's husband AT THEIR WEDDING when I was 14.

The thing is, I'm not done drop dead model type. I'm very ordinary to look at, dressed modestly.

There's this ridiculous perception that you have to be attractive or flirtatious or dressed to kill to experience this.

You really don't.

I strangely haven't. But maybe I am so moody it puts men off 😂

What I consider harassing some have considered getting attention

How you look is irrelevant to these men

@2021isgoingtobeasshitas2020

I strangely haven't. But maybe I am so moody it puts men off 😂

My dd15 has the bitchiest resting face you ever did see, purposefully constructed to deliberately put off would be harassers.

Has one hell of a stomp on her.

She has still been harassed and objectified, from the age of 13 - once, in front of her mother and father. (Who needless to say stepped in and made that pair of middle aged perverted lechers feel about yay tall.)

At their primary school, a five year old girl was pinned down by two boys and kissed on the mouth very much to her distress. I was fucking furious when I heard about this, and the lack of consequences for the children who did this, and reamed the principal out. (I was the treasurer of the equivalent of the Board of Governors, so that helped).

Yes I have. From the “low grade” catcalling, to being grabbed in a taxi.