The men I know feel like this too ...

[Givitarest]

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too.
I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

How very "all lives matter", OP.
What exactly is so offensive in that tweet that you can't support a campaign to stop women being frightened of just walking down the street? And not just feeling frightened but actually being at real risk of harm? Please quote the exact words in that tweet that is so offensive to you, on your husband's behalf.

Complete bull shit

The language is offensive? Because women are detailing their experiences?

I'm so sick of not being able to talk about women's experiences in the world without someone coming along with "but men". Sick of it.

@ChristmasAlone

Complete bull shit

Sorry that was supposed to be a reply to someone...

thefixpodcast.org/episodes/michael-kaufman

Have you ever seen a post about male violence victims flooded with women posting "what about women" I haven't.

Every post I see about male on female violence I can guarantee you it's flooded with cries of what about the men.

THIS 👏 ISN'T 👏 ABOUT 👏 THEM

It is different though - I saw GMB and Jacqui Smith said that she has talked a lot about knife crime and gang issues in inner cities but this is a separate issue and needs addressed differently.

The two sets of safety advice are different - I will tell DD different things to what I tell DS. And that isnt to say I wont need to talk to DS because I will but it wont be the same

Also though in both it is male violence

Yes but what about men?
Can we not even have being assaulted and harassed and even murdered on a regular basis without having to centre men (as per usual)?

How many men have had their underwear held up in court as "proof" they were asking to be raped? Zero?

How many men have had their murderer escape conviction because the murderer claimed to have "lost control" after "being nagged"? Zero?

Who do juries believe when a man is accused of harming a woman? The man.

Who do the general public believe when a man is accused of harming a woman? The man.

Who do the media excoriate when a woman accuses a man of sexual assault? The woman.

Even now there are disgusting comments from people blaming Sarah for being abducted and murdered.

People who behave like you op are what creates the environment for all of this to continue happening.

@Givitarest

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too. I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

👍

I know lots of men that follow the exact same advice. This isn't a case of men are inheritly bad or evil. There is clearly an issue in society and rather than demonising every male we should be looking for solutions, that while rhetoric about the 6pm curfew was just sensationalist rubbish.

Of course men are also attacked. No one is saying that this is not the case. But surely no one can deny that women are more at risk.

Most women are attacked by men. Most men are attacked by men.

This needs to be addressed. Men (not all of course) are the fucking problem here.

YABU because you are constructing a false equivalence between the danger to men and the danger to women based on a partial interpretation of statistics.
Women are on average smaller and weaker than men and the violence done to them by men is overwhelmingly sexual, with attendant consequences. Women’s behaviour is different from that of men and already includes those behaviours that help protect them from harm. You can’t get beaten up outside a bar at midnight unless you frequent bars late at night.
The narrative that men are more at danger from men is explicitly crafted to minimise the dangers to women and to present them as fearful and “hysterical” in their response to perceived danger. Shockingly, this word was used by a (female) professor of criminology on the Today programme on Radio 4 yesterday.

How many women kill men every year? The number is vanishingly small (I can’t even find a stat for it online). Men are still the biggest threat even if it is to other men.

I think you are missing the point that in both cases male violence is the problem.

I know lots of men that follow the exact same advice. This isn't a case of men are inheritly bad or evil. There is clearly an issue in society and rather than demonising every male we should be looking for solutions

Can you show us where that tweet demonised all men?

As posted by a pp, men never get blamed for being attacked. Nothing to do with what they were wearing, not that they should have known better than to walk home alone.

I support a charity that supports people with learning disabilities. Nobody is screaming 'but people have physical disabilities too'

If men genuinely felt the same way that women do and had the same fears, how come there is not the same reaction as there has been to the recent news. If a man is murdered, we do not see a sea of men posting on social media about how they face this fear everyday.

I wish I could find it now, but I remember reading an article written when there was a "rape joke" incident. It talked about how rapists (based on research on convicted men) believed that all men, given the chance and thinking they could get away with it, would rape a woman, that they (the rapists) were just normal men, and how rape jokes fed into that narrative - every time other men laughed along, this reinforced that idea.

This is one area where men can make a difference, in making it socially unacceptable to think or talk about women just as sexual objects, to pull their friends or colleagues up when they say "I'd give it one" or "I'd ruin that".

I don't understand how you can say it's demonising men (I don't see how?), but in the next breath identify that it's male violence that is the problem. We need to be able to talk about the problem of male violence and how it affects everyone. We don't have to do that in a nice way? As someone already said, we're very well aware that it's not all men (we have men in our lives we love too you know!) but it is very likely always a man. Male violence is the problem - how else are we supposed to say it??

Regardless of how many men you have in your life OP the fact is that it is men undertaking this violence. Against men and women. Women in the main can not defend themselves, however. So there it is. It is very nearly ALWAYS men doing these things. Have a chat with all of your male mates about that.

After that have some bloody respect and try your absolute hardest to imagine one of your friends or family members are abducted and then murdered in such a way that anything left is described as "remains". Then sit the fuck down.

What Pegasus said. I agree. I've been heckled by idiots in vans/cars - to clarify men, I've never had a woman shout "Show us yet tits" at me - and once after this happening for years and being sick of it, I yelled back "Piss off" to one particular chap.
Well. This was a busy main road where traffic was running fairly steady as it was rush hour. So plenty of witnesses but the man decided to rev his engine and mount the kerb very close to me and very deliberately while screaming "Frigid bitch" at me. The van was so close we made eye contact and I swear to god the look in his eye, if there had been no traffic I really think he may have stopped and got out. He saw he'd scared me and he and his mate just laughed. People saw this happen and drove on by. So no, I didn't bother to report as bugger all would have happened.

I shouldn't have said what I did as clearly it aggravated him so I avoided that route for a while.

But this man did not like a woman sticking up for herself. His behaviour isn't normal or acceptable. I would put money on him being the type to snap and hurt a woman quite easily. But it seems we should put up with this.

I highly doubt men have similar behaviour to tolerate from other men.

@MacDuffsMuff

Of course men are also attacked. No one is saying that this is not the case. But surely no one can deny that women are more at risk.

Most women are attacked by men. Most men are attacked by men.

This needs to be addressed. Men (not all of course) are the fucking problem here.

Women are more at risk when, statistics show that attacks by strangers are 5 times higher on men than women. I live in Manchester and that's the only reason I know, can you tell me who Alan Murphy is? Didn't think so. What happened to Sarah, was tragic but to claim women are more at risk when everything shows they aren't is ridiculous.

FFS

Because men aren’t scared to walk alone at night. Because they can defend themselves against another man. Because the power balance is equal. Because they aren’t made to feel vulnerable everyday from comments, and stares. In the past 2 days alone I’ve had 2 separate incidents of random men making unwanted comments as I walked my dog in the daylight. No - they weren’t about to kidnap me but collectively over a lifetime, it creates a feeling of unease that stays with you always. Men do not have this issue, end of

statistics show that attacks by strangers are 5 times higher on men than women

Those stats don’t include sexual assault, so not relevant.

OP how many men a week in the UK are murdered by their partner?

No one is disagreeing that a) NAMALT and b) some women are violent.

But the scale of male violence cannot be compared to women. And that they would "otherwise be supportive"? Bollocks. There are many good men but I don't see neatly enough of them calling misogyny out. So no, other than not killing, raping or hurting, most aren't doing anything to support.