The men I know feel like this too ...

[Givitarest]

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too.
I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

@2021ismyyear

Nobody has come up with a solution that will work. Sadly, just tweeting woke opinions isn’t going to solve it

Best everyone shuts up then and we keep the status quo.

That ok with you?

@2021ismyyear

Another thing we’ve had in our county this week... a young girl was raped by a stranger. She was walking in daylight, down a secluded lane at lunch.

Police launched an appeal... social media was outraged. Threats to castrate him, calls of whoever did this was scum.

Police then said “after an investigation and forensics, the girl admitted it didn’t take place and the case closed”

I know I know, “it’s not all” women that make up stuff. But “some do”

Oh well.

Let's treat all women as liars first then, shall we?

Let's treat all women as liars first then, shall we

Yep. And this is part of the problem. Why so many women don't report sexual assaults. Because there's no point. It won't get anywhere, and, the onus to prove oneself in a culture where one has to fight just to be believed, is just too much.

What should be done about the Criminal Justice System?

On the off-chance that a case gets to court, the woman is still taken apart for wearing the 'wrong' outfit, for talking (ie coming on to) the perpetrator, for being there in the first place (it was night time. Good girls would have been at home)

When will the victim not become the accused?

Why does everything have to be about what men also experience when women speak up. It takes away from the fact that when we do speak up we aren't heard because it becomes about men's needs instead of our own. And when we aren't heard we stop speaking out and nothing ever changes.
I as a woman have been beeped at, cat called, followed many times when walking. I have on two separate occasions had men try and get me into there cars all of which have been done by men. How can this be exceptable? I have experienced sexual assault many times, the first time was when I was 8 years old. All of which have been done by men. Can you see a common theme here? They have all been different men who feel that it is fine to do as they please. Yes there are good men out there and they also experience violence in different ways but good men don't say what about us they stand up for what is right and help.

Let's treat all women as liars first then, shall we?

But we're happy to treat all men as guilty? Better 100 innocent men go to jail than one guilty goes free.

As previous posts saying it would help if all the rapists were easy identified it would also be helpful if the liars, thieves and all the rest were identifiable. Sadly they're not so it comes down to what you want - accusation = guilt or innocent until proven?

My ds was assaulted and robbed as a teenager.
So yes, we know that men attack other men as well as women.
Interestingly, my ds is now skilled in MMA and body building making him now highly likely to be more powerful than any assailant. Such an option is not available to pretty much any woman.

As PP have said, male on male assaults are generally of a very different type to male on female assaults. And those that are similar are likely to be perpetrated against teenage or vulnerable men.

In all cases, the common denominator is that men are the perpetrators.

As police found Sarah Everard's body, MSPs voted against protecting women in Hate Crime Bill – Susan Dalgety

"In a terrible twist, the Scottish Parliament was debating whether hatred against women should be included in the new Hate Crime Bill at the same time as Sarah Everard’s body was found."

"Yet, in a jaw-dropping display of arrogance, the majority of MSPs, led by the Justice Minister Humza Yousaf, voted against Johann Lamont’s move to include sex as a protected characteristic in the bill, an attempt to give women the same legal safeguards as a man in drag."

We are not treating all men as guilty. We are asking them to listen to and understand our concerns. We are asking them to be part of the process that makes all forms of male assault (cat calling etc.) unacceptable. We are asking them to do whatever they can to show to women who are alone and vulnerable that they are not a threat. We are asking them not to take offence that we need to ask all this of them, because their offence doesn't trump our risk of assault.

Find the truth that is a disturbing but important read. Thank you for sharing.

Let's treat all women as liars first then, shall we?

-They already are, it's a way to keep the statistics low isn't it? Let's get them to drop thisbefore it gets anywhere near a court so that on paper, it's not happening, and you never know, if word gets out then they might even stop trying. Bonus!

But we're happy to treat all men as guilty? Better 100 innocent men go to jail than one guilty goes free.

No, but then no one has said put all men in jail. Rather you have to treat all men like they could potentially hurt you as you can't identify the ones who won't over the ones who will. Or the ones who will 'mind their own business ' if they see a woman under threat, or the ones who are joining in the banter around the pub table about the bar maids tits, to be one of the lads and wouldn't actually pin you up on the way to the toilet for a grope, over the one that actually will.

@FindTheTruth

As police found Sarah Everard's body, MSPs voted against protecting women in Hate Crime Bill – Susan Dalgety

"In a terrible twist, the Scottish Parliament was debating whether hatred against women should be included in the new Hate Crime Bill at the same time as Sarah Everard’s body was found."

"Yet, in a jaw-dropping display of arrogance, the majority of MSPs, led by the Justice Minister Humza Yousaf, voted against Johann Lamont’s move to include sex as a protected characteristic in the bill, an attempt to give women the same legal safeguards as a man in drag."

Think about the implications here people

in all cases, the common denominator is that men are the perpetrators

Around here prior to lockdown our issue was with a couple of gangs of girls, loud, aggressive, drunk and language that would make a navvy blush. Thankfully with lockdown they don't seem to be such a problem. I do suspect they'll be back though.

I doubt making men aware will have much effect after all its not the ones who understand and get the issue who are the problem. As for crossing the street many already do this, my OH will cross the street if he sees a woman walking/running at night or if he sees children, sadly you could be lying bleeding and he'd still cross the road to avoid you as would most of his friends. Such is our culture, that man is going to attack you or I'm not getting involved.

I doubt making men aware will have much effect after all its not the ones who understand and get the issue who are the problem.

No of course not. Telling women that their feelings being hurt and offended is more important than women being safe isn't a problem at all.

• their feelings being men's

BigFatLiar Am I reading your post correctly (and does it pertain to another post?)? So if a woman or child is in trouble, your OP would cross the road to avoid them because this is how our culture is?

Around here prior to lockdown our issue was with a couple of gangs of girls, loud, aggressive, drunk and language that would make a navvy blush. Thankfully with lockdown they don't seem to be such a problem. I do suspect they'll be back though.

Obnoxious pains in the arse, yes. But here's something these loud, loutish females won't do: stalk, abduct, rape, and kill a man walking down the street at night. So... there's that.

sadly you could be lying bleeding and he'd still cross the road to avoid you as would most of his friends. Such is our culture, that man is going to attack you or I'm not getting involved.

Your husband and his chums would actually ignore and walk past a woman who was lying in the road potentially dying? Is that what you're saying?

I am lost for words, I'm never lost for words.

sadly you could be lying bleeding and he'd still cross the road to avoid you as would most of his friends

You know alot of dickheads

Your husband and his chums would actually ignore and walk past a woman who was lying in the road potentially dying? Is that what you're saying? I am lost for words, I'm never lost for words.

You and me both. I had to re-read that post. It reads like a Wish You Were Here postcard from Gilead.

@BigFatLiar

As for crossing the street many already do this, my OH will cross the street if he sees a woman walking/running at night or if he sees children, sadly you could be lying bleeding and he'd still cross the road to avoid you as would most of his friends. Such is our culture, that man is going to attack you or I'm not getting involved.

I think people should pay more attention to your username rather than your post.

TheVanguardSix I don't think BigFatLiars dh is quite a nice and respectful as she thinks he is if what we've interpreted is true.

I don't think it's really unlikely what they've said though. I stopped for some woman having a fit on quite a busy street and everyone else was ignoring her. Once I stopped everyone wanted involved though

Chilling thought that you've got to wait for someone as mediocre as myself to appear

Thing is, everyone is losing something here because of the actions of men who disrespect, harass and hurt women. Women are the ones on the receiving end, and evidently the men who don't do this are aggrieved that women have to think in a way that every man may be a threat, to avoid the ones that are.

Instead of joining forces with women to identity these 'bad' men, to make them see that their behaviour is wrong, to reduce the risks and therefore them being under suspicion by default, they're having a go at women for seeing every man as a potential threat, rather than focussing on why that's happening - the actions of the men that doing it.
Basically, Women are supposed to treat all men like they're not a threat, to avoid offending a man who's not, and any result of getting that wrong, is the women's problem, as long as men aren't offended, the women who get hurt by the bad ones, because they have to have not offending the good ones at the front of their minds, are acceptable collateral damage.

@VerityWibbleWobble

TheVanguardSix I don't think BigFatLiars dh is quite a nice and respectful as she thinks he is if what we've interpreted is true.

I think it's a lot of bollocks to prove a point "Look at what you're doing by offending good men! They'd rather walk on by than risk having their feelings hurt! It's all you silly little women's fault"