The men I know feel like this too ...

[Givitarest]

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too.
I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

So women suffer violence at the hands of men, and men suffer violence at the hands of men.

The common denominator, and hence the core issue, is men.

The thing is, male violence against men is not women’s problem.

actually, from the point of view of MOTHER, yes it most certainly is!
On all aspects if you think about it.

@PegasusReturns

I run. I run 5 times a week. Every time I run I think about rape. Sometimes for a few seconds, sometimes for longer.

I am increasingly alert when I hear someone come up behind me; I give a wide berth to a particular deserted corner of the park; my heart rate quickens if a car pulls alongside me; I risk assess every man that runs towards me: how old, how big, how fit; I wonder if I’m too far away from other people for them to hear me scream.

These are fleeting thoughts; often barely even conscious. But they occur every time I run. My DH has never thought about being raped on his run.

Me too... I’ve never articulated this before.

*Maybe not on this thread but it’s a theme that is everywhere.

I see davina has been “cancelled” because she dared disagree.

So it’s not all men you say, you agree with me. Just like not all black people are violent, not all Muslims are terrorists etc. Yet if we started these hashtags with other groups of our society there would be outrage*

So can you educate us on an acceptable way for women to discuss male violence against them, so that people like you won’t get offended?

can't say I ever remember anyone ever saying that "he deserved it for wearing a short skirt", or "what did he expect walking home from a club alone at night", or "why did he drink so much as it left him vulnerable".

YABVVVVVU, and a bit thick to be honest if you think it's the same

@2021ismyyear

Maybe not on this thread but it’s a theme that is everywhere.

I see davina has been “cancelled” because she dared disagree.

So it’s not all men you say, you agree with me. Just like not all black people are violent, not all Muslims are terrorists etc. Yet if we started these hashtags with other groups of our society there would be outrage.

Are you seriously comparing minority groups to men? That’s a laughably false equivalence.

@DebbieGetsTheJobDone

The thing is, male violence against men is not women’s problem.

actually, from the point of view of MOTHER, yes it most certainly is!
On all aspects if you think about it.

Men are parents too? It's not a woman's issue just because women give birth to sons

@DebbieGetsTheJobDone

The thing is, male violence against men is not women’s problem.

actually, from the point of view of MOTHER, yes it most certainly is!
On all aspects if you think about it.

So you’re making it the mother’s responsibility to raise good men, not fathers?

I was thinking about this. The fact men are statistically more likey to be victims of murder and violence, but there is no public outcry.

But I came to the conclusion that the reason for this is -

The men getting murdered and subjected to violence are mostly in gangs, getting into fights, being aggressive or antagonistic themselves.

On the other hand, most the women that are subject to violence and murder are just walking home, minding their own business, being a wife, friend or girlfriend, trading sex.

So if men don't want to be victims of violence they just need to stop being violent. There is not much more women can do to protect themselves. We just have to hope that men stop hurting us. So we campaign and raise awareness in the hope we can feel safe, not only on the streets but for many, in their own homes, in pubs, nightclubs, on public transport, in taxi and pretty much anywhere where we come into contact with men.

So it’s not all men you say, you agree with me. Just like not all black people are violent, not all Muslims are terrorists etc. Yet if we started these hashtags with other groups of our society there would be outrage.

What is the one thing that all races and religions have in common? There are two sexes, men and women. This isn't about the colour of the person or what religion they may or may not practice. This is about the fact that every race and religion will have a proportion of men who assault and murder women.

I’m not offended.

Explain to me why one of these is ok but another isn’t:

• saying to a Muslim in a plane “I’m sure you are not dangerous but some Muslims are, do you mind if I check your suitcase again. In fact can you get a different flight... one without non Muslims because you are scaring us. Please also let me know what you are doing to educate other Muslims on not becoming terrorists?”

• to a man “I’m sure you are nice but what it’s always men that rape and murder. Please cross the road if you walk near women. Please don’t go out after 6pm. Please educate your friends not to be rapists”

So you’re making it the mother’s responsibility to raise good men, not fathers?

giving responsibility to one doesn't remove responsibility from the other.

but what an interesting way to see things again...

I’m not going to start thinking it’s all men though. My husband is kind and nice to women always. My son is kind

NO 👏 ONE 👏 HAS 👏 SAID 👏 ITS 👏 ALL 👏 MEN👏

I'd be seriously questioning why any man who doesn't act the way these women are describing needs to be so offended? Quite clearly we aren't talking about your husband if he doesn't act this way.

But again, telling everyone that your husband doesn't rape, stalk or kill any women doesn't change the fact that it's a problem. I'm not sure what you think telling us all that contributes to anything at all?

@DebbieGetsTheJobDone

So you’re making it the mother’s responsibility to raise good men, not fathers?

giving responsibility to one doesn't remove responsibility from the other.

but what an interesting way to see things again...

No but it doesn't make it a woman's issue then does it. It makes it a parenting one.

@PegasusReturns

I run. I run 5 times a week. Every time I run I think about rape. Sometimes for a few seconds, sometimes for longer.

I am increasingly alert when I hear someone come up behind me; I give a wide berth to a particular deserted corner of the park; my heart rate quickens if a car pulls alongside me; I risk assess every man that runs towards me: how old, how big, how fit; I wonder if I’m too far away from other people for them to hear me scream.

These are fleeting thoughts; often barely even conscious. But they occur every time I run. My DH has never thought about being raped on his run.

It is odd, isn't it?

I am the same if I walk home after dark, yet my sons all run, often after dark and on towpaths. When I mention safety to them they cite their size and strength and the unlikely event of anything happening. I don't believe it is that unlikely, but they dismiss it without a second thought.

No woman I know does that.

@2021ismyyear

Just fed up all the woke people. This is the latest trend on Twitter.

If it’s ok to make assumptions, then you are basically saying we are ok to get nervous on a plane next to a Muslim, feel scared walking in London near black people, never employ men as nurses or nursery workers etc etc.

I am highly unlikely to have any of that happen to me.

Before I was 18 I'd been assaulted twice, groped countless times and subject to catcalling weekly.

Why are you so determined to dismiss the things other women experience?

The men getting murdered and subjected to violence are mostly in gangs, getting into fights, being aggressive or antagonistic themselves.

So if men don't want to be victims of violence they just need to stop being violent

You are obviously sarcastic and trying to prove a point, aren't you.

Or this would be the most offensive and stupid post of the month, but I am always worried people do miss the sarcasm.

There is not much more women can do to protect themselves. We just have to hope that men stop hurting us

This.

But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target.. Are they? Are they REALLY, or is it perhaps that they get taken seriously if they report and take it more seriously themselves? How many men have been groped? How many are raped? How many need refuges to escape long term violence within the home? How many are killed for kissing out of wedlock? How many???? Do any of them experience anything like FGM? Are any of them forced into child marriages if raped?

I’m sorry, but any man who says ‘me too’ and any woman who can’t see the difference between a male experience and a female one in regards to threat from men is simply refusing to look, and refusing to look or acknowledge this problem makes you part of it. It’s sky written, blood written, generations old, obvious.
Every voice that says this is ‘the same’ for men is depressingly ridiculous. And any man, or woman, who can’t see that needs to spend some time actually looking at how a male dominated society speaks to, defines, treats, abuses, rapes, exploits and every three days in this country, kills women. Because they are women.
THIS doesn’t happen to other groups, and comparing it to race related crime, male on male violence, or bloody animal cruelty or whatever else is just ignorant. They are different things. It’s not a bloody pecking order. Speaking up about this doesn’t diminish my ability to acknowledge anything else. More than one thing can be wrong at the same time. But THIS wrong thing needs acknowledged, this killing, this blaming, this abuse, this demeaning of woman until they are a group scared to call these things out, scared to walk alone, scared to dress how they want, scared to pick up their drink, scared to answer back, scared to report, needs challenged. unapologetically, honestly and directly. I am so sick of this shit.

Jesus it's clearly lunch break at Goady Fuckers & Co

@2021ismyyear

I’m not offended.

Explain to me why one of these is ok but another isn’t:

• saying to a Muslim in a plane “I’m sure you are not dangerous but some Muslims are, do you mind if I check your suitcase again. In fact can you get a different flight... one without non Muslims because you are scaring us. Please also let me know what you are doing to educate other Muslims on not becoming terrorists?”

• to a man “I’m sure you are nice but what it’s always men that rape and murder. Please cross the road if you walk near women. Please don’t go out after 6pm. Please educate your friends not to be rapists”

Nobody once has said it's all men. WHY can't men do something as simple as cross the road to make a women feel that tiny bit safer - is that really such a problem, such an inconvenience for them?

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz

Jesus it's clearly lunch break at Goady Fuckers & Co

Lol

I imagine lots of posters on this thread have partners and husband's. Do you really think we'd all be married / with them if we thought all men were violent, abusive, rapists or murderers?

The fact that many of us have men in our lives who we love and trust just proves doesn't it that we don't think all men are like this? So I'm unsure why people keep trying to imply that's what is being said.

If you think I'm saying all men are like this then by the same token, I must think the same of my husband and son. Obviously I do not.

@2021ismyyear

Maybe not on this thread but it’s a theme that is everywhere.

I see davina has been “cancelled” because she dared disagree.

So it’s not all men you say, you agree with me. Just like not all black people are violent, not all Muslims are terrorists etc. Yet if we started these hashtags with other groups of our society there would be outrage.

See you'll find posters here don't screech for anyone to be cancelled. Your confusing MN with another site.

We will absolutely and unapologetically call bollocks to what you're saying and your demands when most women we know have experienced some form of assault.

Just because you are ok after what happened to you it doesn't mean we are and neither should we have to be.