The men I know feel like this too ...

[Givitarest]

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too.
I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

FGS MN. Stop responding to this blatantly obvious goady fucker.

Is no man really bothered when another man is killed??? If they were , surely they would do something.

Isn't that known as "the legal system"

as PP has pointed out, this bullshit argument is just the sexed version of ‘all lives matter’ and should be treated as such.

I get your point. It would be disadvantageous to create a divisive structure between men and women in order to push a point. That won't solve any problem. However, statistics show that by a far higher majority, it is men that commit acts of physical violence and aggression (including murder) towards other men, and women.

Men are more predisposed to acting in these extreme ways it would seem. Whilst this doesn't negate the fact that a smaller percentage of women also commit acts of physical aggression and violence, it does lay bare the realities of which sex is more likely to commit a physical crime in this way.

Having said that, I think the way it is brought into the collective consciousness and dealt with is of paramount importance. It is wrong to demonise all men with blanket assumptions and statements. There needs to be an intelligent understanding of the issue and carefully targeted preventative support, aimed at those individuals who may be likely to expose problems or become physically violent. Some of these individuals are likely to be suffering from mental health issues, and this is not an excuse for them to hide behind a MH diagnosis, more of an opportunity for society to respond in a more timely, pre-emptive and supportive manner to those most at risk.

You understand that you're able to talk about one problem without denying the existence of another don't you?

oh some of us are, I question the ones who aren't, that's the point.

@DebbieGetsTheJobDone

You understand that you're able to talk about one problem without denying the existence of another don't you?

oh some of us are, I question the ones who aren't, that's the point.

Sorry who here has denied the existence of male on male violence? Show me.

@excuseforfights

I once told my DH that I would have no hesitation calling the police if a partner (I.e. him) was abusive to me.

He never has been but I thought it was important that he know.

If you already put yourself in the potential position of being a victim in a serious relationship. there's something very wrong.

@DebbieGetsTheJobDone

You understand that you're able to talk about one problem without denying the existence of another don't you?

oh some of us are, I question the ones who aren't, that's the point.

You are the one who is continuously suggesting that posters are denying the existence of male victims. So show me where.

That OP is the tone deaf equivalent of All Lives Matter and no doubt intended to goad, which is despicable considering current events.

Not only are you BU but you're being ridiculous and offensive.

How many young boys need to be stabbed, assaulted, beaten up, murdered before someone take them seriously?
Olly Stephens, Jack Barry, Romario Opia and all they others, they matter.
Instead of trying to generate more violent, stand up against ALL violence. And stop pretending a father is not just as concerned as a mother whilst you are at it.

Well, i don't know about you but i regularly write about violence against men and boys. In fact for the last few years I have spent time on International Men's Day tweeting about the appalling rate of murders against men and boys, the stabbings, men's mental health and sharing resources etc etc. (not only on that day, but i am extra sure to do it on 19th November).

Do you know what happens? A lot of it gets retweeted. Often by women. There is discussion - a lot of it by men with "oh at last someone cares" as if they couldn't take the fucking initiative themselves. There is other discussion - often from women asking how they can help.
What i don't get is "wah wah wah women get murdered too" from women.

On IWD i do a similar thing for women's issues. And oh fucking boy what happens: women engaging and retweeting. Some men engaging and retweeting. A LOT of NAMALT and "wah wah what about da menz" and "nobody does anything on International Men's Day as though the poor little boys can't arrange a fucking hashtag by themselves.

So yep. I'll keep centering women, and continue to promote/discuss other issues too, but be bloody sure women are front and centre of my concern.

If you already put yourself in the potential position of being a victim in a serious relationship. there's something very wrong

Yes I agree, it's very wrong that a woman had to worry about such a thing and feel she had to make that known. It's very sad.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

FGS MN. Stop responding to this blatantly obvious goady fucker.

I know you're right and I usually try not to get riled, but I couldn't stop myself this time

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

FGS MN. Stop responding to this blatantly obvious goady fucker.

Which one?!

I don't see demonising of men. I see raising the issue that TOO MANY women face this.

And I see Men squirming out by saying 'Not me gov' -and hence - 'Not my problem'.

I would expect any decent men to be able to stand up and say - Yes, some men do - what can we do about it? Where is this conversation happening?

@BrittyBrassic

If you already put yourself in the potential position of being a victim in a serious relationship. there's something very wrong

Yes I agree, it's very wrong that a woman had to worry about such a thing and feel she had to make that known. It's very sad.

that's not what I said

If I was in a relationship where I would feel the need to warn him I would call the police in case of violence, I wouldn't be with that person in the first place! It's insane.

If you already put yourself in the potential position of being a victim in a serious relationship. there's something very wrong.

On MN there are a thousand threads where abuse has started gradually. I just wanted to make DH aware that I would go to the police if it happened.

@DebbieGetsTheJobDone

You understand that you're able to talk about one problem without denying the existence of another don't you?

oh some of us are, I question the ones who aren't, that's the point.

All of us are able to. We're talking about violence against women by men. Why does this offend you so much? Guessing we may not get an answer straight away as you're probably on another forum challenging the actual perpetrators of the vast majority of violence against anyone - men - so do take your time and don't let us distract you from that.

You know what? I agree with posters that the common denominator with violence is that it is perpetrated my men. But having read the first few of the OP's posts, I think that another major problem is mothers of sons. Not all mothers of sons, obviously, but certainly some. This isn't the first time I've observed that on here. Posters seem to divide between "how can I raise my sons to respect women?" and "stop saying mean things about men and demonising my darling son".

If you already put yourself in the potential position of being a victim in a serious relationship. there's something very wrong.

Jeeeeeesus. Where did the poster say that? And even if she had, victim blaming much?

You are extraordinarily great at twisting peoples words.

OP I absolutely agree with you. I'm sure that a man walking alone in London or another city is at just as much - if not more - risk of attack than a woman. Maybe a different kind of attack, but I don't see that this debate needs to be an issue of sex. EVERYONE should be able to move around safely and in my opinion that is what the debate should focus on. (Though, sadly, there always have been and always will be lunatics and evil-doers about who will commit heinous crimes - and the best police force in the world could not entirely prevent that.)

@Vick99

OP I absolutely agree with you. I'm sure that a man walking alone in London or another city is at just as much - if not more - risk of attack than a woman. Maybe a different kind of attack, but I don't see that this debate needs to be an issue of sex. EVERYONE should be able to move around safely and in my opinion that is what the debate should focus on. (Though, sadly, there always have been and always will be lunatics and evil-doers about who will commit heinous crimes - and the best police force in the world could not entirely prevent that.)

thank you

that's exactly the point.

Posters seem to divide between "how can I raise my sons to respect women?" and "stop saying mean things about men and demonising my darling son".

I have to worry about how much the latter is feeding the sense of entitlement in those future men and reinforcing that, unlike the Sloss video, male violence is not their problem.

As I've gotten older I have become more and more enlightened as to how awful men are. Yes, only a small proportion of them go on to commit crimes, but a whole lot more do low-level stuff that they get away with and stand by and do nothing whilst other men do it.

An example of this was the other day in my house. My teenage son didn't like something I said and so he clenched both his fists at me. I went absolutely ape shit over this and told my DS that if he ever showed aggression to me again, half his size, he'd be out the door. I meant it too.
I then fell out with my DH because he sat there and said nothing.

I am determined that I am not taking any crap off any men anymore. I am 50 and I still get shouted down by my brothers, own dad and other males in the family who everyone thinks are decent, gentlemen but underneath they are misogynists. I can't stop a random man from attacking me but I can deal with the ones around me.

It is time to start commanding respect, not wait around for it.

The majority of men are not violent and therefore the memes to which you refer are offensive to most

Yes, but the majority of people who are violent are men. There IS an issue with men. We can't address this successfully if we can't acknowledge it.