The men I know feel like this too ...

[Givitarest]

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too.
I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

Why are all these armchair men's rights activists choosing this day, of all the days in the year / decade / their life, to get het up about the problem male on male violence - and demand that women solve it for them?

Oh, hang on.

Very offensive post @Givitarest

Exactly the same as those who responded to the BLM movement with "all lives matter".

Talking about violence against women doesn't mean that violence against men doesn't happen. Your point of view is reminiscent of All Lives Matter. My son has been the victim of violent crime but this is not the time for that story. It is not misandry to talk about male violence against women.

it's not about NAMALT

it's about the disgusting attitude to be so stuck into your little agenda that you insist on denying the existence of victims, and their importance.

You are being just as bad.

Pretend the body of a stabbed teenager doesn't matter is despicable.

Some men don't want to accept that women have a different experience to them. I don't know why. My closest friend is a man my age, our mums were mates and we've been friends since childhood so are very close but even he doesn't really get it. At the start of the me too movement he tried to convince me that it was the same for men because he had been the recipient of unwanted female attention several times in his life. He just didn't understand that for women that sort of thing isn't a handful of incidents so unusual that you can recall them but that it's relentless, day in and day out from childhood to old age. We recall the really major ones but the smaller ones just merge into everyday life.

My DH is starting to understand it more now we have adult DD.

I find OP offensive

Yes, ashtag of the month.

The idiot clapped for the NHS, had #bekind, #ICantBreathe, now they grabbed someone's name and run with it for a few days.

It's disrespectful, offensive and very embarrassing.

I love how the only time people talk about men dying at the hands of other men, is when women protest about being killed by men.

If it bothers you so much, why don't you set up something for men being killed by men? I would support it wholeheartedly. That's the bit that is missing. Is no man really bothered when another man is killed??? If they were , surely they would do something.

It's just pulling each other down.... because men die at the hands of other men - silly women - don't you dare expect to live free!!!
(Like they are really never bothered about an Int Men's Day - just hate the fact that there's an Int. Women's Day.)

OP - what is your REAL problem? The fact that dead men are forgotten or that someone is trying to remember dead women?

Btw, we do celebrate dead men - it's commemorated and remembered when it's armed forces or police but that's about it.

I completely agree @Givitarest. The majority of men are not violent and therefore the memes to which you refer are offensive to most.
This is about violence against people, all people. My 45 year old husband wouldn’t walk across the city where he works at night for fear of being attacked. This is not just an issue that affects women.

remember rather than celebrate

ffs no one is saying it is ONLY women scared. the point is that it’s is nearly always a man to attack! Men are scared of other men!!!!

@DebbieGetsTheJobDone

it's not about NAMALT

it's about the disgusting attitude to be so stuck into your little agenda that you insist on denying the existence of victims, and their importance.

You are being just as bad.

Pretend the body of a stabbed teenager doesn't matter is despicable.

You are making some pretty wild assumptions.

How is discussing one problem denying another? How is discussing one attack pretending another stabbed teenager doesn't matter?

Discussing a problem unique to women isn't harmful to men.

When discussing child abuse is your first thought to leap to "but adults are abused too!!!". I highly doubt it.

I have to disagree with this. Because not only do they do all of these things cheerily without a care, where women would not, they actually don’t even understand what the problem is until you explain to them. They don’t see the world from our eyes.

Also, men don’t get dragged in a bush and raped while they are running. Men don’t get cat called from a car that could potentially contain a rapist. Men don’t get kidnapped, raped and murdered while walking home. My male partner is physically capable of fighting off pretty much most individual men. Not many women have that physical ability.

The male on male violence you are describing is different. It is a problem, yes, but a different one.

I don't demonize men and know there are good men out there but for some of us, it's difficult when we have dealt with sexual harassment over and over.

If it bothers you so much, why don't you set up something for men being killed by men?

why do you think people don't do that?

Why exactly do you assume that many of us are not actively working in the community trying to find way, even a small one, to get at least a few out of a cycle of violence?

Why do you think we are all like you and need to categorise everything, so we can dismiss what is not fashionable today?

Did you also respond to the BLM movement and protests with "All Lives Matter", OP?

Campaigning against violence that affects one sector of society does not mean agreeing that violence against another set does not matter.

No-one is demonising men. Some men are violent and abusive and harrassers. All men should stand up and call out those actions as unacceptable, whether they have personally acted in that way, stood by while someone else did, or are already actively campaigning against this.

Loving this thread and how people are talking as if there are no female murderers or females that commit violence, of course its less prevalent by far, but it does exist so please don't talk as if it doesn't

Do you go on to knitting discussions and moan that nobody is talking about respraying cars?

Don't be that person. Bog off. We are particularly talking about violence towards women here.

Want to talk about female murderers? have at it. Start a thread.

I literally don't think I have a single friend who hasn't been raped, sexually assaulted or touched inappropriately. All of these incidents were unwanted. All carried out by men on women.

There are reams of women coming forward on my facebook recounting their own experiences which go far beyond being followed. And they aren't just one offs. They are saying that things have happened on multiple occasions from different men who thought they had the right to touch them. Most of them have said these experiences started when they were about 11. Loads of my friends have said they have been targeted in their school uniforms.
I myself have been at the receiving end on multiple occasions. I didn't realise that everyone had had the same experience. Its totally disgusting! It's not all men doing it, but pretty much all women have experienced it at some point in their lives! That's the problem there.

Men are nearly always at risk from other men. It's a separate issue in my view.

If you want to raise awareness regarding violence in general OP, then fair enough, good for you.

But re your OP, yes YABU in my opinion.

@DebbieGetsTheJobDone

Yes, ashtag of the month.

The idiot clapped for the NHS, had #bekind, #ICantBreathe, now they grabbed someone's name and run with it for a few days.

It's disrespectful, offensive and very embarrassing.

Massive incorrect assumptions but don't let the truth bother you. We'll still be here, like we always have been, fighting for women's rights long after you've forgotten this thread.

OP, if your issue is that some people on social media are crying “all men are rapist bastards lynch them all” then yes that’s shit and wrong and the wrong approach to this issue.

But I’ll be buggered if I’m tolerating my world getting smaller, more limited and more frightening because of the victim blaming and the whataboutery that always pops up when this topic is discussed.

The point is that we should be dealing with male violence as a whole - against women, men, children etc.
This perpetual demonising of men on social media and in schools, under the guise of gender equality is causing more harm than good.

I once told my DH that I would have no hesitation calling the police if a partner (I.e. him) was abusive to me.

He never has been but I thought it was important that he know.

I was the victim of an assault by a man many years ago, I can still remember the incredibly casual way he just put out a hand and knocked me to the ground, it meant absolutely nothing to him that what he had just done was assault and that what he was planning to do was a worse crime because he had obviously done it many times before. To him, it was normal behaviour.

It's funny how the only time you see posters being so vocal about the problem that is male on male violence is when you're trying to have a discussion about male on female violence.

Literally no one is denying that men get attacked too. No one.

You understand that you're able to talk about one problem without denying the existence of another don't you?

And if you think that the fact some women have killed men too is in any way comparable to the amount of women who are raped, killed, attacked and harassed at the hands of men then you are absolutely deluded.