AIBU for being unhappy about this change in school dinners

[wingingitk15]

So a new child started my sons school on Monday and he has a severe dairy allergy. It is so severe that he cannot be in the same room as a dairy product.

They've stopped giving the children in his classroom the usual school milk and for dinner time, since they're in the bubbles anyway, they've made it that when their year enter the dinner hall they take away all other options and his year are only offered the vegan option.

I'm a bit confused by this because surely if it's an airborne allergy, the previous years eating different foods would still be in the air? But my son has came home absolutely starving everyday because he says "the vegan option is horrible" and he won't eat them. He loves his fruit and veg, he's not a picky eater so I can't understand him not wanting to eat them.

I'm a bit unsure on what to do because I feel so sorry for this new pupil who has to be very careful about what he eats but also I pay for these dinners and my son isn't being given a choice it's just the one vegan option that he's given.

Packed lunches aren't an option because of covid they are only allowing packed lunches if the child has previously been packed lunch.

Should I enquire to the school about this? Or should I just tell them my son is going packed lunch? Is this just something I've got to accept that he's going to be given whatever is vegan that day and he'll come home starving or is there a way the school could overcome this?

None of my family suffer from allergies so I'm not really clued up on how they can be. If anyone has any children with allergies and tips on how the school/children manage with it I'd really appreciate it!

That is bizarre. Is he not legally entitled to his milk? What about them all coming in from breakfast?

Surely not a sustainable option!

So FSM children, who this is potentially the main meal of the day, are being given a limited diet?

Its thoughtful that the school are trying to include the child as much as possible, but it doesn't sound the best solution long term.

I would question the school if this is a short term measure whilst a more suitable solution is found or if this is what they intend to do permanently.

No, it will not be airborne for the previous years.

Why can't they give the kids fruit and veg?

Yes that would piss me off. I understand the new child has an allergy but I don't see why every other child has to be inconvenienced because of it.

Why can't they have sausage, beef pie, chicken dinner etc? I can understand no pizza, cheese and pot pie etc but only vegan seems illogical.

I'd call school and ask them to clarify in a"DS said this bit it doesn't quite make sense,can you tell me what's actually happened?" way

Do the kids with pack lunch eat separately?

Agree with @SleepingStandingUp I would ask school for clarification, as this seems way off. If it’s true I too would be unhappy.

I do not understand how a Dairy allergy can be airbourne? I have a dairy allery but only if I eat it?
Is airbourne allergy a real thing?

I'm guessing they have gone with vegan prepped food as only food they guarantee hasnt had cross contamination. It's hard as no one wants to exclude a child BUT if the schools taking this approach they need to supply whole class with dairy free food not just vegan.

I don't understand this logic AT ALL, what if they had a child with a severe kiwi allergy, another with an egg allergy and another with an allergy to nuts?? Pretty much everything will be off the menu soon.

That child needs to be homeschooled!! Ffs

This sounds like a badly thought through policy.

I would politely ask them to clarify whether what your son's understanding is correct followed by expressing your concerns about impact on your son. Are you paying for this??
Obviously you understand that they are trying to meet their health & safety responsibilities to this child but surely not to the detriment of the rest of the class blah blah.
Also get class WhatsApp on the case (as long as new child's parent isn't on there) - strength in numbers.

@DimidDavilby My son doesn't drink the milk so we don't pay for it the the FSM kids get it for free and they haven't had any this week

@Hankunamatata yes the packed lunch kids eat in the school hall not the dinner hall

Check with the schools as for the bit being allowed pack lunch rule, absolutely unenforceable. If you send him in with a packed lunch then that’s what he has.

I wouldn’t be happy with that! And neither would my DD she’s not fussy at all but being limited to vegan would really put her off hot lunches.
Why can’t the allergy child bring in a packed lunch that his parents have provided so no risk of a reaction and eat it in the classroom alone with a TA or similar rather than inconveniencing all the other children?

I am very open minded about food generally but don't think you can put children, especially FSM children, onto a vegan diet at school. As we know, for so many children that's their main meal of the day. I would also highly, highly doubt that a school meal version of 'vegan' is properly balanced with enough protein, fresh green veggies, etc.

I'd be checking this out and then raising a bit of a stink about it OP. It's of course a shame for the wee person with the allergies but school are really going about this the wrong way.

Honestly I think I would say the child with the allergy had to eat separately. Perhaps they could ask other children to eat first them wash hands and faces and then sit with him for company or something but I do not think its reasonable to restrict other childrens diets to that extent.

I would have thought they are entitled to their milk... do you pay for this normally? Not sure here the free milk entitlement ends.

I think its a crap diet for kids - and those on FSM really need to be offered better than something most of them won't eat.

I'd check with the school - as others say 'ds has come home saying... whats actually happening". If they intend to continue then I would stop paying for the meals and send him with pack up. I doubt you'd be on your own. There are not many going to pay for a vegan meal for kids who are not vegan!

I'll email the school and ask them to explain the policy and hopefully it is only for a limited time.

@bubblebubblebubbletrouble yes I pay for his school meals. I don't think there is a school class WhatsApp but I have text one of the other mam's whose daughter receives FSM and she said her daughter had the same option my son was given

@HoldontoOneMoreDay

I am very open minded about food generally but don't think you can put children, especially FSM children, onto a vegan diet at school. As we know, for so many children that's their main meal of the day. I would also highly, highly doubt that a school meal version of 'vegan' is properly balanced with enough protein, fresh green veggies, etc.

I'd be checking this out and then raising a bit of a stink about it OP. It's of course a shame for the wee person with the allergies but school are really going about this the wrong way.

Fresh green veggies are vegan

@purplemyrtleface

I don't understand this logic AT ALL, what if they had a child with a severe kiwi allergy, another with an egg allergy and another with an allergy to nuts?? Pretty much everything will be off the menu soon.

That child needs to be homeschooled!! Ffs

Your compassion is outstanding.

I would put in a complaint about this sadly. It’s a horrible and very difficult situation for a school to have to manage, but they can’t wash their hands of the problem by putting it onto other children and their parents. While it is possible to be healthy and vegan, even as a child, it takes a lot of work and effort and time to get used to, and a child can’t be expected to change their eating habits overnight to accommodate a classmate.

The school meal and milk at school forms an important part of a lot of children’s diets, that’s why the FSM scheme got so much support for it to continue over lockdown school holidays. The school needs to recognise that eliminating dairy entirely for a group of children that benefit from it is not a solution, and that they are currently doing those children a disservice.

If the FSM kids get milk for free then they are absolutely wrong to stop them getting it. This is a policy that won't last long I'm sure....