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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for being unhappy about this change in school dinners

451 replies

wingingitk15 · 11/03/2021 16:52

So a new child started my sons school on Monday and he has a severe dairy allergy. It is so severe that he cannot be in the same room as a dairy product.

They've stopped giving the children in his classroom the usual school milk and for dinner time, since they're in the bubbles anyway, they've made it that when their year enter the dinner hall they take away all other options and his year are only offered the vegan option.

I'm a bit confused by this because surely if it's an airborne allergy, the previous years eating different foods would still be in the air? But my son has came home absolutely starving everyday because he says "the vegan option is horrible" and he won't eat them. He loves his fruit and veg, he's not a picky eater so I can't understand him not wanting to eat them.

I'm a bit unsure on what to do because I feel so sorry for this new pupil who has to be very careful about what he eats but also I pay for these dinners and my son isn't being given a choice it's just the one vegan option that he's given.

Packed lunches aren't an option because of covid they are only allowing packed lunches if the child has previously been packed lunch.

Should I enquire to the school about this? Or should I just tell them my son is going packed lunch? Is this just something I've got to accept that he's going to be given whatever is vegan that day and he'll come home starving or is there a way the school could overcome this?

None of my family suffer from allergies so I'm not really clued up on how they can be. If anyone has any children with allergies and tips on how the school/children manage with it I'd really appreciate it!

OP posts:
ItsMarch · 11/03/2021 18:46

@Beseigedbykillersquirrels A balanced diet is one of three causational factors in cases of Rickets. As others have pointed out, vegan meals can be nutritionally balanced. The OP’s concern is that their child dislikes the vegan option.

This one child's rights do not trump any other child's*
Charming.
Let me know if you would like me to re-paste the links previous posters have provided where children have died in schools from dairy allergies.

bedtimealready · 11/03/2021 18:46

So can the teachers not have milk in their tea or coffee at the school??

LolaSmiles · 11/03/2021 18:47

I’m aware of that. But here we are talking about one class of children. Let’s apply some perspective.

The school will have done a risk assessment and seen the child’s care plan from the consultant. I very much doubt they would have taken this action if the child wasn’t at serious risk

School staff don't go round asking parents to outline their mealtime offerings because that is intrusive. There's a reason that school meals have to be balanced, and pushing children to one vegan option isn't that.

Aside from those issues at home, it is still a problem if students are going hungry because school are unfairly limiting their lunch options.

The OP is totally reasonable to ask about the school policy and find out if this is a short term plan or they plan to restrict everyone's diet during the day indefinitely.

darefullyciverse · 11/03/2021 18:47

I have 2 coeliac and vegan dds
Vegan food is not always full of gluten !

My experience of mass catering, is that whilst vegan food can be gluten free, vegan options for school /work lunches etc. are rarely suitable for coeliacs.

Vursayles · 11/03/2021 18:49

It sounds as if some posters aren’t aware that the boy could actually die from his allergy. I’m shocked at the heartlessness of some of these comments.

gallbladderpain · 11/03/2021 18:49

As a parent of a child with a dairy allergy I can understand it and yes a dairy allergy can be as serious as nuts anaphylaxis etc.
What I don't understand is why they are only serving vegan options ?
We are a completely dairy free family....but far from vegan ! We have pretty much every single normal meal just with small alterations to make it dairy free and you would never know the difference !

SimonJT · 11/03/2021 18:49

@airsealengineer

The school meal and milk at school forms an important part of a lot of children’s diets, that’s why the FSM scheme got so much support for it to continue over lockdown school holidays. The school needs to recognise that eliminating dairy entirely for a group of children that benefit from it is not a solution, and that they are currently doing those children a disservice

All of this! Not just a disservice, there are kids who could end up badly underfed and malnourished.

If a parent is neglecting their child social services being informed is the correct action, a child eating a vegan meal five times a week will not lead to them being underfed or malnourished. A parent choosing to withhold food at home causes that.
darefullyciverse · 11/03/2021 18:49

I'd also be concerned that there's an assumption that vegan food is suitable for someone for a severe dairy allergy. Often it's not the case.

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 11/03/2021 18:50

@worriesabout @SimonJT @pollylocketpickedapocket
The school isn't providing nice enough alternatives for the other children to want to eat them, therefore are going hungry. If this continues long term then it could indeed be problematic for many. I haven't actually stated that any child is entitled to a meat or dairy meal in anything I've written. The school needs to provide nutritious meals the other children want to eat or allow them to being in packed lunches.
You've all jumped on, assuming I'm being rude about this child with the allergy. I was not, if you read what I actually wrote. There are allergies in my family, ranging from very mild to life-threatening anaphylaxis. My daughter has a dairy allergy, although thankfully not life threatening as yet. I wouldn't be happy about other children going hungry or missing what could be the only hot meal of the day because the school hasn't managed this correctly. My daughter's rights do not trump every other child's. Sorry if that offends you

SoupDragon · 11/03/2021 18:51

Surely there is a more balanced way than either excluding the child who is allergic or forcing their classmates to eat only the vegan option.

ItsMarch · 11/03/2021 18:53

@LolaSmiles

I’m aware of that. But here we are talking about one class of children. Let’s apply some perspective.

The school will have done a risk assessment and seen the child’s care plan from the consultant. I very much doubt they would have taken this action if the child wasn’t at serious risk

School staff don't go round asking parents to outline their mealtime offerings because that is intrusive. There's a reason that school meals have to be balanced, and pushing children to one vegan option isn't that.

Aside from those issues at home, it is still a problem if students are going hungry because school are unfairly limiting their lunch options.

The OP is totally reasonable to ask about the school policy and find out if this is a short term plan or they plan to restrict everyone's diet during the day indefinitely.

@LolaSmiles Yes I know, that’s why I said in my first post: ”Yes, ask for further information from the school about how they are managing the risk.”
worriesabout · 11/03/2021 18:54

@airsealengineer

The school meal and milk at school forms an important part of a lot of children’s diets, that’s why the FSM scheme got so much support for it to continue over lockdown school holidays. The school needs to recognise that eliminating dairy entirely for a group of children that benefit from it is not a solution, and that they are currently doing those children a disservice

All of this! Not just a disservice, there are kids who could end up badly underfed and malnourished.

Newsflash - humans don’t actually need cows milk we can be perfectly healthy without it if you want your child to have it give them the daily required amount in the 18 hours each day they aren’t at school ?
frubr · 11/03/2021 18:55

@ItsMarch yes they've done a risk assessment for the child with the allergy but they haven't for the rest of the class - clearly as op hasn't received any correspondence from them on this matter.
Several children could be going hungry when there are far more sensible solutions to this problem.

@SimonJT not many parents choose to withhold certain foods from their DC at home, they simply can't afford it.

Whatwhyhowwherewho · 11/03/2021 18:55

@Vursayles

It sounds as if some posters aren’t aware that the boy could actually die from his allergy. I’m shocked at the heartlessness of some of these comments.
Shocking. Poor boy. There but for the grace of God go I.
worriesabout · 11/03/2021 18:55

@gallbladderpain

As a parent of a child with a dairy allergy I can understand it and yes a dairy allergy can be as serious as nuts anaphylaxis etc. What I don't understand is why they are only serving vegan options ? We are a completely dairy free family....but far from vegan ! We have pretty much every single normal meal just with small alterations to make it dairy free and you would never know the difference !
Yes precisely it’s a catering issue more than anything else
Whatwouldscullydo · 11/03/2021 18:56

If a parent is neglecting their child social services being informed is the correct action, a child eating a vegan meal five times a week will not lead to them being underfed or malnourished. A parent choosing to withhold food at home causes that

Doesn't this more entirely depend on what's being provided? I love vegan food. But I'm sure it's far more likely the school option is a plate of watery mushy veg alongside some plain rice or jacket potatoe , and a highly processed cheap meat substitute cardboard burger , than it is something genuinely nutritious and tasty. If kids are just being fussy buggers that's one thing but if they are all getting fed shit allergy child included then might be better to get the parents together to see what can be done to improve the situation than just arguing amongst themselves whether the right to have pizza trumps the right not to be put in danger with the allergy.

Clymene · 11/03/2021 18:56

Newsflash @worriesabout - milk is an essential nutrient for many children living in poverty. Hmm

JM10 · 11/03/2021 18:57

Sounds like the school/caterer have panicked and reacted without thinking. Also sounds like the caterers don't have a clue how to cook a decent vegan meal. There is so much easy vegan food they could serve and most of the kids wouldn't even realise it was vegan.

worriesabout · 11/03/2021 18:57

@darefullyciverse

I have 2 coeliac and vegan dds Vegan food is not always full of gluten !

My experience of mass catering, is that whilst vegan food can be gluten free, vegan options for school /work lunches etc. are rarely suitable for coeliacs.

Yes getting the impression the real issue here is mass catering as vegan food is healthy tasty and filling
worriesabout · 11/03/2021 18:59

@Clymene

Newsflash *@worriesabout* - milk is an essential nutrient for many children living in poverty. Hmm
Too much milk can actually stop the absorption of iron
starfishmummy · 11/03/2021 19:00

Surely they could sit the child with allergies with any vegan children in a different area and let the others carry on with their usual food.

worriesabout · 11/03/2021 19:00

@JM10

Sounds like the school/caterer have panicked and reacted without thinking. Also sounds like the caterers don't have a clue how to cook a decent vegan meal. There is so much easy vegan food they could serve and most of the kids wouldn't even realise it was vegan.
Exactly! The anger should Be redirected at the caterers they are taking what sounds like and easy and lazy option ? That isn’t helping anyone
gallbladderpain · 11/03/2021 19:01

@Clymene

Newsflash *@worriesabout* - milk is an essential nutrient for many children living in poverty. Hmm
There are plenty of alternative options available now that are fortified with the neccessary nutrients required and arguably some of them are much healthier options than cow's milk as well.
worriesabout · 11/03/2021 19:04

Also school milk isn’t free after 5
Families on low incomes get healthy start vouchers though for milk fruit and veg so they can supply their children with milk if needed at home

AmyandPhilipfan · 11/03/2021 19:04

As this child is new to the school I would hazard a guess that either the parents didn’t let the school know about the allergy until too late to organise anything else, or the head didn’t pass on the message, or there was difficulty communicating with the kitchen staff due to the school being shut, or something along those lines. To me this seems like a ‘OMG we have this child with a serious allergy who we don’t want to kill, what can we do about this class’s lunches?’ situation, and this was the best fit on Monday morning. I suspect a more long term solution will be found.

I can absolutely understand parents being concerned that their children don’t like the food offered but for a few days it won’t kill them whereas if this child ingests an allergen it will. So yes, I actually do think that this child’s right to continue living trumps another child’s right to food they like the taste of. But hopefully by next week the school will have found a solution that works for everyone.