AIBU for being unhappy about this change in school dinners

[wingingitk15]

So a new child started my sons school on Monday and he has a severe dairy allergy. It is so severe that he cannot be in the same room as a dairy product.

They've stopped giving the children in his classroom the usual school milk and for dinner time, since they're in the bubbles anyway, they've made it that when their year enter the dinner hall they take away all other options and his year are only offered the vegan option.

I'm a bit confused by this because surely if it's an airborne allergy, the previous years eating different foods would still be in the air? But my son has came home absolutely starving everyday because he says "the vegan option is horrible" and he won't eat them. He loves his fruit and veg, he's not a picky eater so I can't understand him not wanting to eat them.

I'm a bit unsure on what to do because I feel so sorry for this new pupil who has to be very careful about what he eats but also I pay for these dinners and my son isn't being given a choice it's just the one vegan option that he's given.

Packed lunches aren't an option because of covid they are only allowing packed lunches if the child has previously been packed lunch.

Should I enquire to the school about this? Or should I just tell them my son is going packed lunch? Is this just something I've got to accept that he's going to be given whatever is vegan that day and he'll come home starving or is there a way the school could overcome this?

None of my family suffer from allergies so I'm not really clued up on how they can be. If anyone has any children with allergies and tips on how the school/children manage with it I'd really appreciate it!

@ChameleonClara

Some allergies are very extreme, so don't doubt the severity.

I'm just a little surprised this solution has come in. Have you had it explained in writing by school?

Irrespective of the rights and wrongs of the decision, why would having vegan food mean a child was hungrier? Also if it is a dairy allergy, why vegan and not dairy free? This sounds like the sort of story that gets a little contorted in the telling.

Doesn't it just.

Are you certain it's vegan? I can't see why it would be vegan? There are plenty of dairy free options without food needing to be vegan.

Vegan also doesn't confirm there's no cross contamination risk. A lot of vegan food still has a warning for dairy cross contamination. So it can't be that.

This is very strange.

Yanbu

This is not a reasonable adjustment at all.

How are they managing with the packed lunch kids?

@ChameleonClara I'd assume the kids are going hungry because the vegan options are terrible and they aren't eating them.

I know the vegetarian options at my son's school are really dire, we switched to pack lunches.

A vegan diet can be lovely of course but it doesn't always lend itself well to the sorts of mass catering meals that schools usually do.

dairy allergies can be very severe and kids can die quickly
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/may/02/boy-with-allergy-died-cheese-flicked-at-him-london-inquest-told

but equally, the other children in the class need their milk and a proper meal, especially those on FSM.

This is a very hard one for the school but I think they have to find a different solution.

Wouldn't it make more sense for the parent to accommodate to the child with the allergy rather than the school rearrange everything around one pupil?
A child in my DS's class has a severe nut allergy she goes home for lunch.
Seems very excessive to make an entire class confirm to a vegan diet.
Id speak to the school & raise it with the PTFA.

Conform*

Gosh, who knew, dairy can be airborne. They need to find another solution though, inc the child eating elsewhere, they can’t put all the kids on a vegan diet.

@3babylady

Wouldn't it make more sense for the parent to accommodate to the child with the allergy rather than the school rearrange everything around one pupil? A child in my DS's class has a severe nut allergy she goes home for lunch. Seems very excessive to make an entire class confirm to a vegan diet. Id speak to the school & raise it with the PTFA.

So if someone has a child with an allergy they shouldn’t be allowed to work?

If I didn’t work how do you suggest I pay the mortgage or even buy food?

Seems very excessive to make an entire class confirm to a vegan diet

I.wpuld probably also be concerned that a dairy allergy immediately lead to the idea the dinners should be vegan ( I.mean.uou can buy soya custard. The butter in.slonges can be replaced with a vegan margarine etc) I mean it shows the potential for a complete misunderstanding of it all so I'd not be confident they'd know what a vegan even was let alone how to do it properly.

@goldfinchfan

I do not understand how a Dairy allergy can be airbourne? I have a dairy allery but only if I eat it? Is airbourne allergy a real thing?

Any allergy? I have a very serious airborne nut allergy. I'm that annoying fucker who gets nuts products stopped being sold on flights.

@SimonJT did you misread that? PP just said he should go home for lunch , not that he can't go to school like that nonsensical PP earlier said.

I’m a lunch time supervisor and sorry this is stupid and unfair. If the child has such a serious allergy then the school should insist that they are on packed lunch not change the menu for the whole year.
We have various allergy children and those with dietary restrictions for religious reasons and our kitchen provides choice for them all.

Raise politely with the school following your complaints policy
Don't contact the PTFA -not sure how a fundraising charity can help lol
Don't suggest child be cast out of school - whether ft or just for lunch - how nasty

Completely unacceptable. My dd has a lot of food issues (not allergies) and I got clearance from her school to provide nuts because she needed the calories and they are the best nutrient rich snack there is. My paediatrician suggested it and wrote to the school because it's unfair that the many have to have choices limited by one child

[quote RootyT00t]@SimonJT did you misread that? PP just said he should go home for lunch , not that he can't go to school like that nonsensical PP earlier said.[/quote]
So how do people work when they need to leave to collect their child, take said child home, feed child, take child back to school and then travel back to work?

How many people can leave work for around 1.5 hours everyday in the middle of the day?

Of a child has a severe allergy to dairy and cross contamination is a severe risk then they need to make all options for all kids dairy free and offer a choice.

You may find it useful to read the anaphylaxis U.K. website because when my son had an epicentre their advice was nut free because it's airbourne but teach good practice for other allergies.

I'd agree that the vegan food in our school is awful and my kids would rather go hungry and moan. we go through the menu and send packed lunches some days rather than pay for inedible food. There's a deli bar normally in our school but due to covid it's gone cheap white bread, iceberg, cherry tomatoes and cucumber sticks normally.

It is lazy of the caterers there's some severe allergies in our school but they keep a couple of options on hand for them when the normal menu is unsuitable. I know one kid who has gluten/ dairy allergies and has fishfingers 3 x a week as it's easy/ kept in the freezer and the kid'll eat it.

I'd email and if it's ongoing I'd insist on changing to packed lunches under the circumstances.

[quote RootyT00t]@SimonJT did you misread that? PP just said he should go home for lunch , not that he can't go to school like that nonsensical PP earlier said.[/quote]
DH works an hour commute away, I used to work a similar distance but in the other direction. If DS couldn't stay at school for lunch, one of us wouldn't be able to work. And if I was a single parent then there's not even the option of picking the lower earner to quit

@SimonJT it wasn’t clear from your post, do the hot dinner kids in your son’s class have limited options for their meals?

In the tragic example linked above, the boy had had cheese put down his neck by pupils unaware he had an allergy. It seems he was OK until the cheese was put down his neck, i.e. he came into direct contact with it.

@IggyAce

I’m a lunch time supervisor and sorry this is stupid and unfair. If the child has such a serious allergy then the school should insist that they are on packed lunch not change the menu for the whole year. We have various allergy children and those with dietary restrictions for religious reasons and our kitchen provides choice for them all.

I think the problem is not what the child is eating but that there will be dairy in the environment.

For those asking about the packed lunch children, perhaps they have been told not to include dairy, in the same way that most schools have no nuts in packed lunches policies.

It’s no doubt a difficult situation but I would argue that it is fine for the rest of the class to be dairy free (not vegan) as this is not being cut out of their diet altogether as they will have other meals not at school and perhaps the milk children could have a plant based alternative (these are usually fortified with calcium and oat milk in particular I would think would pose no alternative allergy risk and is very tasty)

You can’t ask a child to stay at home or go home for lunch - that’s not inclusion

I don't see the problem, meat and dairy aren't exactly essential parts of a meal

[quote skeggycaggy]@SimonJT it wasn’t clear from your post, do the hot dinner kids in your son’s class have limited options for their meals?[/quote]
No, sorry I thought I had made it clear when I said he isn’t allowed to sit with any children who eat in the hall and they wash after eating.

Well I was joking about ops school @simonJT but presumably of your kid had a severe dairy allergy, had just moved schools and school had put in a vegan only rule, you'd think it highly probable