AIBU for being unhappy about this change in school dinners

[wingingitk15]

So a new child started my sons school on Monday and he has a severe dairy allergy. It is so severe that he cannot be in the same room as a dairy product.

They've stopped giving the children in his classroom the usual school milk and for dinner time, since they're in the bubbles anyway, they've made it that when their year enter the dinner hall they take away all other options and his year are only offered the vegan option.

I'm a bit confused by this because surely if it's an airborne allergy, the previous years eating different foods would still be in the air? But my son has came home absolutely starving everyday because he says "the vegan option is horrible" and he won't eat them. He loves his fruit and veg, he's not a picky eater so I can't understand him not wanting to eat them.

I'm a bit unsure on what to do because I feel so sorry for this new pupil who has to be very careful about what he eats but also I pay for these dinners and my son isn't being given a choice it's just the one vegan option that he's given.

Packed lunches aren't an option because of covid they are only allowing packed lunches if the child has previously been packed lunch.

Should I enquire to the school about this? Or should I just tell them my son is going packed lunch? Is this just something I've got to accept that he's going to be given whatever is vegan that day and he'll come home starving or is there a way the school could overcome this?

None of my family suffer from allergies so I'm not really clued up on how they can be. If anyone has any children with allergies and tips on how the school/children manage with it I'd really appreciate it!

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Honestly I think I would say the child with the allergy had to eat separately. Perhaps they could ask other children to eat first them wash hands and faces and then sit with him for company or something but I do not think its reasonable to restrict other childrens diets to that extent.

That’s what I was thinking. Perhaps a small group of children could eat together where the parents are happy with the vegan diet etc....

Why are they excluding meat and eggs?

I can sympathise with the child with the allergy but I would be annoyed too. I think packed lunch is the best bet. Our school is similar with not wanting you to bring in packed lunches but I would insist if the school meals aren’t adequate. DS would be the same if the school lunches changed dramatically!

This is my DD in her school, there has never been any issues. Maybe it’s because they are not providing decent alternatives ?
There is lots of non dairy foods they can eat hence how those with dairy allergies survive.

@goldfinchfan

I do not understand how a Dairy allergy can be airbourne? I have a dairy allery but only if I eat it? Is airbourne allergy a real thing?

Same!

A nut free school whaer a child has a nut allergy isn't really comparable though. A dairy free school in this situation would be comparable. Vegan option only is more like saying 'no plant based food as a child has a nut allergy'

I have an allergy, so I'm very sympathetic to the child and their family, it's really hard, but it does feel like a sweeping, knee jerk, decision has been made without fully thinking it through. I suspect it is the catering company not being able to guarantee dairy free unless it's vegan, and hopefully it's a temporary situation while something more long term gets put in place.

My son is allergic to strawberries and the school don't include them in snack time (they provide fruit to the children). Quite a few of the parents weren't happy but I was equally unhappy that he would have to sit in a separate room alone whilst they ate their strawberries (can't roll my eyes enough).

I'm assuming this drastic decision is just a stop gap whilst the catering company try and find dairy free meat options. I can't imagine they're going to force the whole year to go vegan permanently.

I had a little girl with a severe dairy allergy, amongst many other allergies, in my class a couple of years ago.

The rest of the class still had their milk and normal school meals. We were VERY vigilant at all times.

Milk had to be drunk in one area which was thoroughly wiped down after, children that drank milk had to wash hands after. The child with the allergies was sat at the end of the dinner table with her packed lunch, the table was wiped before she sat down and a bit of space was left to ensure she wasn't in contact with other meals. All children then washed hands after eating (to be fair, with covid we're doing most of this now anyway).

Thankfully although only four years old at the time the girl was amazing at knowing what to do and why and although a little stressful having to be constantly watchful all was fine.

This is dreadful. So all children must suffer because of one child's allergy? How did they manage in his previous school?

Wasn’t there a case where a poor little boy with a severe daily allergy died after a fellow pupil put a slice of cheese on his neck? Maybe this is why they are being so restrictive if his allergy is severely life-threatening.

It’s so hard to reach an acceptable solution that balances the safeguarding of the poor boy whilst accommodating the other kids, I don’t envy the school. Surely the best option is to allow all the kids a packed lunch and keep the allergic boy in another room whilst eating? Poor little thing, how horrible.

@mummywantstobeslim

Yes that would piss me off. I understand the new child has an allergy but I don't see why every other child has to be inconvenienced because of it.

You’d feel differently if it was your child.

@ItsMarch - but what about the serious risk any of the other 29 children in the class could potentially be in if they aren't eating proper balanced, nutritious meals at all? We've already seen a return of previously thought old-fashioned conditions in children such as rickets due to long term malnutrition. Children need bellies full of nutritious meals in order to thrive and do their best in school. This one child's rights do not trump any other child's.

One of DD's friends has severe allergies, she has her own table at which she can sit with a couple of friends (her airborne allergy is nuts & the school is nut free but she has other allergies too) which hasn't caused any problems.

Maybe they could have a separate vegan meal room where all kids having that option can eat it together?

@anamazingfind

This is dreadful. So all children must suffer because of one child's allergy? How did they manage in his previous school?

Yes it is dreadful people like you are such twats and dreadful that the school is this crap, although I don’t believe the latter for a second.

Whilst I am super sympathetic to the child with the allergy. How will this total exclusion work as he goes through life?
Is it not better to teach precaution so he learns to manage his risk?
This could include prepping his own lunch etc
Obviously there would still need to be a layer of precautions from others in the school but would it not help him to manage this better if he starts to understand his own risk factors?

[quote Beseigedbykillersquirrels]@ItsMarch - but what about the serious risk any of the other 29 children in the class could potentially be in if they aren't eating proper balanced, nutritious meals at all? We've already seen a return of previously thought old-fashioned conditions in children such as rickets due to long term malnutrition. Children need bellies full of nutritious meals in order to thrive and do their best in school. This one child's rights do not trump any other child's.[/quote]
There’s no need for meat to be excluded for a start
And even if it was there are many nutritious filling vegan lunches !
-jacket potato / beans / tuna etc
-veg stews - lentils and chickpeas are filling with rice etc
-soups and bread
-pasta bakes and salad
-curries
-cakes can be made with low/no sugar and dairy free butter or oil
Fresh fruits etc etc etc loads of options that don’t endanger another child’s life !

[quote Beseigedbykillersquirrels]@ItsMarch - but what about the serious risk any of the other 29 children in the class could potentially be in if they aren't eating proper balanced, nutritious meals at all? We've already seen a return of previously thought old-fashioned conditions in children such as rickets due to long term malnutrition. Children need bellies full of nutritious meals in order to thrive and do their best in school. This one child's rights do not trump any other child's.[/quote]
My dd has food allergies and her school are brilliant at managing it. I’m grateful for that and also that the other kids parents aren’t as fucking selfish and thoughtless as the vast majority of commenters here.

@anamazingfind

This is dreadful. So all children must suffer because of one child's allergy? How did they manage in his previous school?

If this happened at your childs school you could just ask for your child to eat alone so they can consume the allergen.

*tuna obviously of the school can at some point include meat and fish - this is more a catering issue I think than a vegan menu problem in this case for a dairy allergy

[quote Beseigedbykillersquirrels]@ItsMarch - but what about the serious risk any of the other 29 children in the class could potentially be in if they aren't eating proper balanced, nutritious meals at all? We've already seen a return of previously thought old-fashioned conditions in children such as rickets due to long term malnutrition. Children need bellies full of nutritious meals in order to thrive and do their best in school. This one child's rights do not trump any other child's.[/quote]
If the other 29 children are being neglected then their parents need to be reported to social services.

What right does a child have to dairy in the UK?

The school meal and milk at school forms an important part of a lot of children’s diets, that’s why the FSM scheme got so much support for it to continue over lockdown school holidays. The school needs to recognise that eliminating dairy entirely for a group of children that benefit from it is not a solution, and that they are currently doing those children a disservice

All of this! Not just a disservice, there are kids who could end up badly underfed and malnourished.

Dairy allergies are fairly common, especially in younger children, but airborne triggers/ anphylaxis is quite rare for dairy compared to "dusty" food such as nuts.

DS1 ate seperately to other children through the nursery years due to multiple allergies and a high risk of cross-contamination due to age. He could be in the same room as it was a contact allergy, but needed to be well out of reach of allergens so was at a seperate table with 1:1 assistance and food on a red plate. It's obviously not ideal to have children eating seperately, but it is grossly disproportionate to give the rest of the cohort a restricted diet to manage the allergy.

Ultimately if all classmates have packed lunches in response then the child with allergies would end up on their own in the other hall anyway.

Worriesabout unless this is a private school there will not be the kind of time or money for caterers to produce this. Many schools get ready made food shipped in. I'm not saying you couldn't campaign for this but it wouldn't appear suddenly when a new child starts the school.
Bringing a packed lunch would help the OP's child but it would not help the children entitled to FSM get a hot meal (with an element of choice - my dc was veggie and often disliked the one veggie option, so had packed lunch on those days. Ideally children would have more choice).

The child with the allergy could sit in a room with children eating vegan (if they want to join him), or any of his friends who have had their lunch inspected first.
It only takes 15 minutes to eat a packed lunch - then he is outside playing with everyone. Hardly excluded!