AIBU for being unhappy about this change in school dinners

[wingingitk15]

So a new child started my sons school on Monday and he has a severe dairy allergy. It is so severe that he cannot be in the same room as a dairy product.

They've stopped giving the children in his classroom the usual school milk and for dinner time, since they're in the bubbles anyway, they've made it that when their year enter the dinner hall they take away all other options and his year are only offered the vegan option.

I'm a bit confused by this because surely if it's an airborne allergy, the previous years eating different foods would still be in the air? But my son has came home absolutely starving everyday because he says "the vegan option is horrible" and he won't eat them. He loves his fruit and veg, he's not a picky eater so I can't understand him not wanting to eat them.

I'm a bit unsure on what to do because I feel so sorry for this new pupil who has to be very careful about what he eats but also I pay for these dinners and my son isn't being given a choice it's just the one vegan option that he's given.

Packed lunches aren't an option because of covid they are only allowing packed lunches if the child has previously been packed lunch.

Should I enquire to the school about this? Or should I just tell them my son is going packed lunch? Is this just something I've got to accept that he's going to be given whatever is vegan that day and he'll come home starving or is there a way the school could overcome this?

None of my family suffer from allergies so I'm not really clued up on how they can be. If anyone has any children with allergies and tips on how the school/children manage with it I'd really appreciate it!

Why doesn’t he bring (the child with an allergy) packed lunch from home? There wouldn’t be any risk of cross contamination then?
I have a friend who has a child with a severe allergy and that’s what they do rather than expecting everyone else to change their diets. Seems an odd choice.

@goldfinchfan

I do not understand how a Dairy allergy can be airbourne? I have a dairy allery but only if I eat it? Is airbourne allergy a real thing?

For stuff like nuts definitely, because of the dust

What were the options before?

Either someones got the wrong end of the stick somewhere down the line or their usual food is so cheap amd highly processed full of fillers and artificial flavourings potentially containing lactose etc that they cant safely serve it...

Hope they can clear it up for you.

It's not just about being airborne, if a child has touched dairy then touches the child with the allergy, the child in question could die. Dairy allergies are pretty serious and very difficult to live with.

However, I'm not sure why there needs to be a vegan only option. Plenty of diverse meals that don't need dairy in them, I've known a couple of people with the allergy and they're not vegan. The school is either being hyper conscious or lazy.

If they come back and say this is permanent, I would politely tell them that you will be switching to packed lunches then. If they can so drastically change their meals policy, they can also change the policy that says you can't switch.

I feel terrible for that child but it's not fair to make everyone else go vegan especially if the meals they're providing are not good.

Thank you @RootyT00t for your comment. Fresh green veggies are indeed vegan. I'm glad we can agree on that. What my posts queries is the amount and indeed freshness of green veggies that are likely to be placed on the average school dinner plate in order to provide a balanced vegan meal.

@FatPatty

Why doesn’t he bring (the child with an allergy) packed lunch from home? There wouldn’t be any risk of cross contamination then? I have a friend who has a child with a severe allergy and that’s what they do rather than expecting everyone else to change their diets. Seems an odd choice.

So you want the child with an allergy to sit in a room alone every dinner time?

purplemyrtleface
That child needs to be homeschooled!! Ffs
You can't exclude a child from an education because the school has to make a few adjustments. Adjustments should be reasonable and proportionate. These aren't but it doesn't mean the kid should be barred from mixing with "normal" kids

I have a child with allergies. Even I think this is extreme. There should be more than 1 option. I don't think the child with allergies should be made to eat alone as someone said, I think that's horrible to the child. I do think the school need to make sure that all the children are safe and not being excluded. A lot of meals could be made safe, yes it's harder and things need to be checked but there needs to be something better than this put into place. Maybe things are more difficult due to covid at the moment and this is a short term plan. If so then perhaps suggesting packed lunches could be an option for the time being. These could be eaten separately from those on dinners maybe.

@BrumBoo

It's not just about being airborne, if a child has touched dairy then touches the child with the allergy, the child in question could die. Dairy allergies are pretty serious and very difficult to live with.

However, I'm not sure why there needs to be a vegan only option. Plenty of diverse meals that don't need dairy in them, I've known a couple of people with the allergy and they're not vegan. The school is either being hyper conscious or lazy.

By that logic then presumably all the other children shouldn't be able to have dairy at home for breakfast either, in case they come into school and touch the child?

If the child is that allergic surely they can't take the risk of preparing any food - vegan or not - in the same kitchen where dairy has been stored / prepared.
What if a packed lunch child has a milkshake / yogurt and then does a big burp after lunch in the vicinity of the child with the allergy?
It sounds like an ill-conceived policy (possibly a panic reaction from the school as they're most likely very nervous of something going wrong, whilst at the same time needing to be inclusive).

To be fair to the school, it’s probably the catering company or supplier that has said they can only guarantee that the vegan option food is completely milk free. Most school kitchens won’t have the resources to safely cater for one child with such a severe restriction at the same time as providing the usual menu for all the others even if it wasn’t airborne.

@wingingitk15 what have they had for lunch this week? Obv limiting it to one option isn't great but they could have sausage, mash and beans one day, veg lasagne and greens another etc so that would settle the "unbalanced" diet discussion. Is there a deli bar etc the kids can have other bits from? Salad, pasta, bread etc?

@goldfinchfan

I do not understand how a Dairy allergy can be airbourne? I have a dairy allery but only if I eat it? Is airbourne allergy a real thing?

It depends on how sensitive the person is.

I have a kiwi allergy that requires an auto-injector, I have to consume kiwi to experience a response. I can however handle kiwi, including cutting it up.

My son has a dairy allergy, he is extremely sensitive to dairy, if he touches a surface that has had dairy on he has severe reaction, if you are very sensitive and an airborne particle of your allergen enters your mouth/eyes/nose/ears that can lead to a severe reaction.

I wonder if the child could eat elsewhere and the room the others eat in be aired before the kid returns?

What a tricky situation.

I’m all for inclusion, however I wouldn’t want all the other kids to be forced into vegan only options, as this is pretty limiting and a life style choice which a young child shouldn’t be forced into.

YANBU at all. That's unfair on all the other kids. Raise it as a concern in writing. And see if other parents want to do the same.

Everything can't change to accommodate 1 person at the expense of lots of others.

I think the new child should be allowed to eat a packed lunch in a separate place. School library or admin office perhaps?

@SimonJT is your child at (ops) school? How do they handle lunches?

I'd check the school policy with them as it seems excessive.
Also if the allergy is genuinely so severe that they can't be in a room with potential dairy particles then that's an issue for classrooms too. Is the school banning staff from drinking tea/coffee before the school day? Are they aware that many children will have cereal with milk before leaving the house? What if a child in the class is sick and they eat an average diet that includes dairy? How does the risk assessment manage this?
I'd also be querying how the school meal provision is broad and balanced if they've unilaterally cut out a whole food group for a class.

The child wont be the only one with allergies.
Dairy allergies are relatively common.

They could consider grouping children with allergies and have two eating space to reduce contact.

I never understand how such people manage in the world. Do the children of that child also never ever take them to soft play or any other public activity where they may have contact with other children?

Most of those children will have consumed dairy as part of their breakfast just before arriving at school. How is it that that doesnt cause an issue but the food they eat at lunch doesnt?

Some allergies are very extreme, so don't doubt the severity.

I'm just a little surprised this solution has come in. Have you had it explained in writing by school?

Irrespective of the rights and wrongs of the decision, why would having vegan food mean a child was hungrier? Also if it is a dairy allergy, why vegan and not dairy free? This sounds like the sort of story that gets a little contorted in the telling.

The school/caterers are being lazy.

The allergic child absolutely needs a safe lunch environment but it's not as though everyone eating vegan is the only answer!

Comments like 'the allergic child should be homeschooled' give me the absolute rage though. NO, the child deserves a place at school the same as any other, the school just need to think a bit more about how to make it work without other children being negatively impacted.

That poor child must experience life similar to lockdown, Covid or no Covid. No play dates, no cafes, no restaurants, no socialising at all. How does that work for the child?

[quote SleepingStandingUp]@SimonJT is your child at (ops) school? How do they handle lunches?[/quote]
How would I know if my son is at OPs school?

Dairy (cows) is strictly banned in his class (they eat in class groups), the seating plan is arranged so he doesn’t sit with any children who eats in the hall (hot dinners) and all children wash their hands and face after lunch. It was just the hot kids washing, but the packed lunch kids became jealous so now they all do it 😂

By that logic then presumably all the other children shouldn't be able to have dairy at home for breakfast either, in case they come into school and touch the child?

I mean honestly, if it's that bad then it would be safer for the child if that happened, but obviously that's in no way realistic. I'm assuming that this is the school having to take as much responsibility for the child whilst in their premises along with the child havering capacity to understand they have to very vigilant about how close they get to pupils/sharing items. The school is probably protecting themselves legally as much as possible.

Sadly, there has been at least one instance of children not taking a dairy allergy seriously on school premises, and the child died as a result.