Too Many Men

[JackieBeaver]

I'm feeling very sad about the Sarah Everard case. Poor poor woman. There's a lot of stories coming out now from women who have experienced feeling unsafe due to the behaviour of men with the hashtag toomanymen trending on Twitter and Green Party peer baroness Jones calling for a 6pm curfew of all men.

We need a change! This can't go on, I'm so tired of feeling unsafe and unable to go about my business without fearing for my safety. I'm worried for my dd also

Enough is enough

It's a shame that this has to get personal and I'm genuinely sorry for any woman who has suffered any kind of abuse from a man. If my comment about "diet coke break" has offended anyone then I apologise to anyone who hasn't called me a "C*" so far (because we all know how much women love to hear that as a pejorative term, don't we). This is a sensitive topic but I stand by my view that the suggestion of a curfew is unhelpful; two wrongs don't make a right.

Right, cause laughing at a diet coke ad or the Chippendales is exactly the same as the objectification that women endure across society. Page 3 anyone? Sex sells etc.

As I said before, men are afraid women might laugh at them, women are afraid men might kill them.

@MAMNIL

It's a shame that this has to get personal and I'm genuinely sorry for any woman who has suffered any kind of abuse from a man. If my comment about "diet coke break" has offended anyone then I apologise to anyone who hasn't called me a "C*" so far (because we all know how much women love to hear that as a pejorative term, don't we). This is a sensitive topic but I stand by my view that the suggestion of a curfew is unhelpful; two wrongs don't make a right.

You’re genuinely sorry for almost every woman out there then. Thanks.

@MAMNIL

It's a shame that this has to get personal and I'm genuinely sorry for any woman who has suffered any kind of abuse from a man. If my comment about "diet coke break" has offended anyone then I apologise to anyone who hasn't called me a "C*" so far (because we all know how much women love to hear that as a pejorative term, don't we). This is a sensitive topic but I stand by my view that the suggestion of a curfew is unhelpful; two wrongs don't make a right.

Do you understand that the curfew suggestion was not a genuine proposal,but a reaction to police saying women shouldn't be out after dark? And other similar policing of women's behaviour?

Have you not taken on board the comments pointing out that it wasn't a real suggestion @mamnil? It was to point out how ridiculous it was to tell women to stay home (aka, take on a curfew) to avoid getting raped or murdered.

The only time I've ever felt really threatened / scared by men was in the middle of the day. I have no idea if it was just hyper awareness or genuine guy instinct but I got away and have never cut through the way again. Even if every man was home between 6-6, do we really think that would stop people? Not to mention the ones who'd go out after 6 anyway?

Boys need to be taught they have no rights over women. I don't think teaching them they can't ever be trusted helps - it just reinforces the "not man's fault"
Girls need to be taught it's not their fault and to report it.
Sentences need to be long - not to deter other men, but to keep those men off the streets.

I also feel very sad for Sarah Everard and am also concerned for the safety of my wife and daughters. Making the assumption that all men are likely to be a threat to women and need to be locked up at night is divisive and frankly offensive

@MAMNIL I agree with you. It is frankly ridiculous to blame all men, to accuse all men of being the same. All your fathers, sons, brothers, husbands , all the same?!

I cried when I read about Sarah Everard. It's utterly horrific and I really hope the monster lives to be punished for this but to say all men are the same is just ridiculous. Curfew, seriously.

glad you feel sorry for 80% PLUS women in the UK who have experience harassment, violence and abuse at the hands of men - that makes us all feel better

My daughter came home absolutely horrified, and also incredibly angry, about a class in which they were talking about rape and consent. Every other person in that class, bar one other female student, bought into pretty much every fucking rape myth that perpetuated that women brought it on themselves. The teacher did not intervene or back them up.

It took us contacting the form head or whatever it's called, and saying 'this has happened, and WTAF' for him to find out what had happened and go in and try to correct some misapprehensions.

I am incredibly nervous, as a result, even when she goes out with a male 'mate' or group, because I have no faith in their understandings of boundaries or consent.

Diet Coke? It's always diet Coke, isn't it? Because there are so few things like that that everyone remembers that one. If all you've got is a 15 second TV ad from 25 years ago whose entire purpose was to offset the overwhelming amount of objectification of women - that is memorable precisely because it was so rare and opposite, and was even done humorously and in good taste - you truly have nothing to contribute, except to disprove your own point.

All the offensive content readily available on the Internet today and you want people to get angry over a 25 year old daytime advert featuring a window cleaner? Which was marketing a diet product to women?

Begone.

allAnotherlovelybitofsquirrel

93% of killers are MALE

97% of 18-24 year old women have experiences harassment and abuse

93% of convicted domestic abusers are MEN

so either a few bad men are VERY FUCKING BUSY or lots of men are abusive - including some of our fathers, brothers and sons - or uncle in my case

@ghostyslovesheets Point one, you are being abusive right now, on here I'm presuming from indoors somewhere.
Secondly. Yes there are more male perpetrators, but the actual figures are not acurate. Many men do not report crimes against themselves, such as male rape, domestic abuse, violence etc due to embarrassment. A shocking number of children are abused by females. My comment was not derailing the thread. The fact that you felt derailed was your personal issue.
The OP was commenting on #toomanymen and a 6pm curfew. The truth is that there have been many men who have stepped in during an assault on a woman and intervened, saved her.
Blimey, women have been fighting for equality for decades now. There are weirdos everywhere, all nationalities, and gender. We can't just go about saying don't let them out after 6.

@ghostyslovesheets I also very much hope you don't have sons.

Not all men are abusers. There are more good men than bad.

Do you think loads of women do report then? really?

also please show me exactly where I have been abusive? Please

[quote Ozziewoz]@ghostyslovesheets Point one, you are being abusive right now, on here I'm presuming from indoors somewhere.
Secondly. Yes there are more male perpetrators, but the actual figures are not acurate. Many men do not report crimes against themselves, such as male rape, domestic abuse, violence etc due to embarrassment. A shocking number of children are abused by females. My comment was not derailing the thread. The fact that you felt derailed was your personal issue.
The OP was commenting on #toomanymen and a 6pm curfew. The truth is that there have been many men who have stepped in during an assault on a woman and intervened, saved her.
Blimey, women have been fighting for equality for decades now. There are weirdos everywhere, all nationalities, and gender. We can't just go about saying don't let them out after 6.[/quote]
You're right, the figures are not accurate. So many women don't report it when they get raped or harrassed, because they know how slim the chances of them getting justice are. I predict the numbers of women who have experienced rape and DV are way higher than currently reported.

No I have daughters - which is why I am angry about men and their entitled behaviour and violence

Why do find women saying they oppose male violence so threatening - assuming you feel you are 'one of the good men'?

@allmbosnz - horrific isn;t it - my eldest has had similar issues with her A level politics class

I have both sons and a daughter, and feel absolutely the same way as Ghosty.

@drsbaitso said what I tried to about the false equivalence of the diet coke ad much better than I did.

@Advic3Pl3as3 Name one

a 'good man' in my book would say - you know what women - you are right - male violence against women is a real issue in society - when 2 women a week are dying at the hands of men - how can I help?

Agree. Poor Sarah; it’s devastating. What she must have gone through, and her poor family.

Misogyny should be a hate crime and street harassment should be illegal.

The Government must act.

If people want to use me as a lightning rod for their rage about this situation then that's fine. If my regret that women are abused on a daily basis is taken offense at, as though I'm somehow trying to negate all that with an empty apology, then that's a shame because that wasn't the intention. If the example of "diet coke break" isn't felt to be representative then so be it; its a dynamic that I've seen many times in real life so make of that what you will. I'm not sure how helpful a dogpile is in this situation but if men and women can't debate this issue sensibly then what hope is there for any of us? It seems to me that would be a better solution than grandiose statements about curfews etc.

No one is saying that all men are rapists or guilty of DV/SA. I’m certainly not. My DH isn’t like that and neither are my BILs. OTOH, my F was like that.

There are a lot of men who do hurt women/girls, it obviously isn’t just a tiny majority as the stats prove otherwise.

you are not debating though - you are just saying we are wrong - that's not a debate - look at this thread properly (maybe brush that chip off) read the links and statistics posted - women face a real genuine threat on a daily basis from your sex - what are YOU going to do about it - what?

My DH has never tried to tell me that NAMALT when I’ve talked about the SA I suffered at the hands of my F and others and neither has my BIL said that to my DSis.

Men who are not like that don’t need to go around telling us that they’re not like that.