Getting too thin?

[mmner31]

Hello Mumsnetters,

12 months ago I started losing weight through IF (16:8) and reducing portion sizes of meals. I also started walking more, which in turn lead me into starting jogging. I'm 5ft7 and I started at 13st9 and I'm now 10st 2. DP has expressed his concern that I am starting to look too thin.

I have explained that I still fast (for the health benefits) but do eat considerably more than I did when trying to lose weight. To be honest I do not wish to lose anymore weight as I am a healthy weight for my height.

Has anyone actually got too thin and then had a comment made by a DP/DH or even a close friend/family member/?

Well done on your weight loss. Maybe you need to explain the stats to your DH if he is worried? or is this about him not liking you being so slim as opposed to what you want to look like/feel like?

Society now has a problem imo because a good proportion of the population are overweight or obese therefore when anyone is a normal weight they look thin. I also think that when someone is slim/fit etc it highlights that others are fatter and they don't like it.

Whatever anyone says BMI and waist measurement are a useful tool in measuring this. There will always be exceptions e.g. rugby players but for the general population it works.

A pound of fat weighs the same as a pound of muscle, a pound of butter, a pound of feathers.

Muscle is more dense so takes up less space, it doesn't weigh more but there might be more muscle than fat per area

You are not too thin

You are a healthy weight

I was told I was too thin by a lot of people after I lost quite a lot of weight. I hadn't been overweight to start with though, and was medically underweight and did look quite ill. I was surprised by how many people felt free to make personal remarks about it though. The worst was my ex, we were together at the time and he would regularly tell me how disgusting and skeletal I looked and how embarrassing it was for him to be seen with me in public!

I think as long as you're definitely eating enough and your BMI is in the healthy range, and you feel good, then you're probably ok. Your dp might just be not used to seeing you at a lower weight, or perhaps is worried that you'll take it to extremes.

@airsealengineer

l lost weight after the birth of my second child. I got really fed up of people commenting negatively on how thin I was. I am still safely within a healthy BMI, eat three meals a day, and don't feel the need to eat more. I'm just a bit thinner than I was. Honestly, no-one says 'gosh you;'ve got fat recently, you need to lose weight' Do they? So stop making me unattractive for losing weight!

This was the same with my first child. Within 5 months I was underweight. I had NOT been trying to lose weight and found it quite insulting that the woman who commented thought I had. Truth was, I was working full time, breastfeeding a child ready to start solids, not getting enough sleep etc etc, NOT vainly limiting my calories to get LA thin.

I think a lot of it is to do with the face... weight loss can make your face look completely different.

@MyDcAreMarvel

You could weigh 8.6 and still be a healthy weight but thin. That’s why I said 10.2 wasn’t thin because it’s not it’s average. Not to be mean just stating a fact.

I'm aiming to get myself up to 8.5 stone and I'm 5'4. That's the weight I feel I look my healthiest, and I'm quite small boned. I imagine 8.6 stone at 5'7 would be absolutely tiny and verging on unhealthy? I suppose it varies with different body shapes and bone structures too.

it’s just what people say when they’re fatter than you & feel threatened by the fact you’re healthier than them! Ignore him and well done

What a nasty and malicious thing to say. Not to mention completely wrong.

You're nowhere near too thin. I'm an inch taller than you, muscular and don't like to weigh over 9 stone (happy weight is around 8 st 11 or 8 st 12). You are bang in the middle of the healthy weight range. Your husband either (a) isn't used to how you look at a healthy weight, (b) is feeling insecure that you might be getting more attention from other men, or (c) both!

that is a massive weight loss (speaking as one the same height and about a stone over what I should be) but still within the approved range. With such a big loss you are going to look very different.

fasting itself doesn't have health benefits, but not being overweight certainly does. As long as the eating pattern isn't ruling your life or making you hell to live with, you are ok.

fatter people have their wrinkles padded out so the old 'face or figure' has some merit - but what the heck, health is more important than looks.

I take my hat off to you.

I'm 5' 7" and no way is 10st 2 too thin! It looks quite nice on me but I'm hoping to return to former (pre-lockdown) weight of 9st 9.

I think though I look best around 9 half to 10 stone which allows for a bit of age-related padding. Anything under 9 stone and I start to look a bit drawn in the face. The adage is true - as you get older you have to choose between your bum or your face!

OP, to answer your question, yes I have had people say you have got too thin, when I thought I was fine. I'm glad they did because it turned out I was very very ill and the fast weight loss was a symptom of that.
I was about 9stone and 5'7 at that point and still losing. I almost died.

@herewegoagainst

Yes, at a similar weight and height to you actually. DH was a lot more concerned than he let on at the time which he told me once I put about a stone back on. With the extra stone I looked about 10 years younger!

MN vipers will be here soon to tell you that 10st at 5'7 is obese and anything more than 8st is unreasonable.

When I was late 20s I was ill and lost weight, fairly normal. I lost my appetite and continued to lose weight, my son who was about 8 asked me to stop going swimming with them as I looked so thin that people were staring at me. He asked me if I had anorexia, so I assume he had heard someone saying that. I gradually got back to normal, I was just under 6st and went back to 8st 12 which was normal for me.

I agree so much about looking old when so thin. A few years later when looking through photos I threw out the ones of when I was so thin as I looked so old, fragile old lady when I wasn't quite 30.

You're at a healthy weight. I'm the same height as you and about 9 and a half stone. I'm slim but in no way underweight.

Maybe your dp is just used to you being a bit bigger?

fatter people have their wrinkles padded out so the old 'face or figure' has some merit - but what the heck, health is more important than looks.

I'm not sure it does (although obviously depends on the person) because jowls can be aging too and often fatter people have those, especially as they get a bit older.

I’ve gained about 10lbs since Christmas. I was at the lower end of the BMI chart previously. DH commented the other night, totally out of the blue, about how good I look.

When I quizzed him a bit he said that he thinks I look better at this weight than my usual weight, and whilst previously I wasn’t “too thin” he very much thought I was borderline and e.g. an illness causing even a slight loss would lead to me being absolutely too thin.

My Mum lost over four stone a few years ago, taking her to the very bottom of an ‘overweight’ BMI, but about a size 12. She had people, mostly people she barely knew, begging her not to lose more weight and, in some cases, to gain weight. She admittedly did look very different, but she’s by no means thin and it was really strange to have people trying to convince her to go back to being uncomfortably overweight.

I lost 3 stones a couple of years ago and have had several people worried about me 'getting too thin' - I'm 5'3 and a size 10 so not too thin at all - tbh, I think it's just one of those totally meaningless things that people say without thinking.
On the other hand, a family friend lost 8 stones and my mum confided in me that she found it quite hard to look at him as she thought he looked ill. He didn't look ill to me, but I do think it can be a shock to see someone looking very different. He's kept the weight off for several years now so everyone has got used to seeing him so much slimmer.
So, I can see it from both sides...

Well done on your weight loss
I'm an inch taller than you and I'm slim but still a bit shapely at 11 stone. I've not been 10 stone in my adult life. I don't think I'd be "too thin" at 10 but I bet most of my family would say that. I cannot imagine there'd be anything left of me at the bottom end of the "healthy" BMI

I’m 5”8” and whenever I get down to about 11 stone people close to me (well, dh really!) start expressing concern that I’m “getting too thin” - I also get lots of comments such as “oh, you’ve lost lots of weight haven’t you?” from friends/mums at school etc. The fact is that 11stone at my height is actually slap bang in the middle of the healthy range for my height (I could go down to 8 stone 10 and still be considered in the healthy range!) but I think it’s a combination of a) any weight loss on me tends to show more in my face and upper body which really accentuates the change in appearance b) people just being used to seeing you at a bigger size c) (in DH’s case) the fact that he likes a bit of meat on a woman and is worried il lose my curves and d) the fact that we seem to have lost perspective of what a healthy person looks like in this country.

I take no notice and just do what makes me happy!

I'm 5ft 7 and 10st 2 looks good on me.

Any lighter and my boobs go and you can see my ribs and hip bones - BUT I'm a pear shape and lose boobs and torso wait the fastest.

A different body type would look different at that weight.

I do think some people look healthier when very slim where as others look healthier at a slightly higher BMI. It's very individual.

I've had this and it's beyond infuriating and rude! I lost significant weight before my wedding and was just under 9st at 5ft2, I wore a size 8. I was not too thin at all, people were just used to me always being overweight.

Some people told me I was looked ill but some "friends" were just jealous, they didn't like that the chubby, bubbly pal could now fit into the same size clothes as them. Their comments were nasty and uncalled for. Needless to say, they are not my friends any more.

The icing on the cake though was MIL saying I looked gaunt and dreadful on my wedding day!! I'm not one to blow my own trumpet usually but I looked fucking fantastic! I found that pretty rich coming from someone who weighs 7st wet through and eats children's portions!!!

Your height/weight sounds spot on and so long as you're happy and know that you're healthy then that's all that matters. Sod what anyone else thinks, they don't have to live in your body.

@mmner31 you've don't really well with your weight loss in 12 months so well done! 👏🏼 You're weight sounds perfect for your height to me and if you're BMI is within range then Happy days! If that's the case then you need to eat a 'maintenance calorie amount' to maintain that weight. There are loads of apps to download to help you with this. In fact maybe even MyFitnessPal has this option,

Do you allow yourself anything sweet / treaty in your 8 hour window at all? Or is it mainly low fat, low sugar and low carb? Just asking because I occasionally try the 16:8 method just to lose a few pound if I've over indulged and it's not clear if you should be in a calorie deficit and eat what you like providing it's below that amount of calories during your 8 hour window or if you should eat only super healthy food?

I’m 5 foot 6 and weigh 10 stone 5lbs and I’m on a diet as I feel very overweight but that’s because most of my life I’ve been around 9 and a half stone.

At one stage on a health kick I was down to under 9 stone and my family expressed concerns I had an eating disorder 😂😂

For me around 9 stone 6lbs is the ideal weight for my height so I wouldn’t think you are too thin. He probably just is worried about the contrast. You’re a perfectly healthy weight now and he should be proud of you.