Getting too thin?

[mmner31]

Hello Mumsnetters,

12 months ago I started losing weight through IF (16:8) and reducing portion sizes of meals. I also started walking more, which in turn lead me into starting jogging. I'm 5ft7 and I started at 13st9 and I'm now 10st 2. DP has expressed his concern that I am starting to look too thin.

I have explained that I still fast (for the health benefits) but do eat considerably more than I did when trying to lose weight. To be honest I do not wish to lose anymore weight as I am a healthy weight for my height.

Has anyone actually got too thin and then had a comment made by a DP/DH or even a close friend/family member/?

@mmner31

Well I always wanted to slim to a size 10. So last year I bought size 10 jeans as a motivator. They now fit but I think DH is happy I reached my goal, but isn't used to seeing me slim and trim

That's the thing. It's not that you are actually too thin. It's just that he isn't used to it.

Congrats on the weightloss!

@Gwenhwyfar

"I also think that when someone is slim/fit etc it highlights that others are fatter and they don't like it."

Yes, sometimes it's just jealousy.

This. ^

Whenever I tried to lose weight in the past, (when I was around 2-3 stone overweight,) I would go on a diet, and DH ALWAYS went on one a few days later. And EVERY SINGLE TIME the weight would drop off him three times faster than it dropped off me.

He would be 2 stone lighter within 3 months, and I would be ten pounds lighter. Everyone who saw us commented on HIS weight loss, but never mine (as he had lost the most, and it was more obvious.)

He would smile, and puff his chest out at the compliments, and I would be like For some reason he couldn't bear me losing weight, and him not losing any. So he'd go on a diet too. I think it was insecurity, and maybe jealousy, but it really fucked me off.

After 4 or 5 times (over about 8-9 years of him doing it,) I stopped telling him I was going on a diet. I would just announce that I didn't feel like much to eat... and I wouldn't snack between meals or have high fat/high carb food.

He'd say 'you're making me look bad you are.. I am sitting here eating chocolate biscuits and you are eating hardly anything.' I got annoyed and said 'don't blame ME if you're feeling greedy or like you're eating too much. I'm not going to eat more to make you feel better about yourself.'

Anyway, for the last 15 years or so, he hasn't bothered dieting. I have a few times, but not much. But he did have this annoying trait of instantly going on a diet when I went on one, and ALWAYS lost much more weight, and much faster too. It made me so disheartened that I quit my diet after a couple of months.

Glad he doesn't do it now!

@WorraLiberty

Weight loss often provokes jealousy and insecurity in some people. You only have to read a few MN threads to see that. Lots people have been dropped by friends, put up with PA comments and they've had their partners start acting possessive/jealous.

This. ^ In spades.

OP, forget BMI. Go by what you look like naked. If you’re bones are jutting out, and your skin is wrinkly, then you’re probably too thin.
BMI is a rough guide only.

I wish people would stop pedalling this crap that you have MUST fit within it’s recommended range.

I am short 5ft 2, with an hourglass shape so slim waist and small bum.
However, I have large man sized hands so have to wear men’s gloves and have size 8 feet. My mate at school was a similar build at 5ft 3 but with tiny hands and wore size 3 shoes.

At the upper end of the BMI range for weight/height, I’m a size 8/10. If my weight drops to less than 8 stone, I look seriously anorexic with my rib cage and hip bones jutting out. But according to my BMI, I’m within the healthy range, which is clearly bollocks.

No wonder so many women develop an eating disorder when the guidance is taken too literally.

People get used to you being a certain weight and it takes time for them to reset that when you lose it. I’m around 4 stone lighter than I was this time last year and had someone ask me if I was ill the other day! I’m actually at the higher end of my bmi range 10.4 stone 5’6” and I’m planning to lose another stone. I just think it’s a bit of a shock for people, especially if they haven’t seen you in a while due to lockdown. Anyone who has known me since pre children will know my fighting weight is around 9 stone which is about right and where i’m trying to get to.

You’re not too thin OP. You should be whatever weight you’re most comfortable, not a weight to suit other people.

I'm the same height as you and underweight (health condition) I weigh 8stone. My target weight is 9 stone 2 lbs, which is set by my dr and dietician as perfect for my height. So I wouldn't say you were too thin, sounds like you're the perfect weight.
Congratulations on the weight loss.

Sorry, it was more like 7 or 8 times - over 8 or 9 years - that my DH went on a diet when I did (Not 4 or 5...)

10 stone can be very thin at 5ft 7. I was a small size 8 when I weighed that with a jutty out collar bone and colleagues making concerned noises if I ordered a Diet Coke or a slimline tonic. It depends what the rest of your frame is like and how athletic you are. I'm not a size 12 until 12 stone. 🤷‍♀️. My best friend (same height) looks podgy if she goes over 9 and a half stone and can't fit in my jeans!

It sounds like you are happy with your body which is great and impacts other things such as confidence and general health. Maybe you need to talk through with him how he feels and how you feel but how you feel about yourself is far more important for both your wellbeing’s ultimately so I wouldn’t take what he says to heart, he will adjust

I'm 5'7" and weigh 10st10lb so just a little more than you, and I don't feel thin at all. I'm definitely carrying some extra fat at this weight even though my BMI is healthy, and would like to be more like 9 1/2 stone to feel really healthy. So I would say ignore him- you are not too thin!

Possibly it's that he feels you are thin by comparison, having being used to you weighing more in the past.

I'm 5' 7" and 10st and I would say I'm slim. I'm definitely not "thin" though. Personally I think I would look thin if I got down to the lower end of a healthy BMI, ie around 9st. I have been 9st before and I'd say I looked on the thin side of slim then. But not at 10st.

@solicitoring

10 stone can be very thin at 5ft 7. I was a small size 8 when I weighed that with a jutty out collar bone and colleagues making concerned noises if I ordered a Diet Coke or a slimline tonic. It depends what the rest of your frame is like and how athletic you are. I'm not a size 12 until 12 stone. 🤷‍♀️. My best friend (same height) looks podgy if she goes over 9 and a half stone and can't fit in my jeans!

I prefer the taste of Coke Zero. I'm not sure I know anyone who drinks full sugar fizzy pop these days anyway!

We all carry weight differently....so it seems from this thread.

I guess it depends on what brand of jeans too!

@solicitoring You must have bones made of lead

I am short 5ft 2, with an hourglass shape so slim waist and small bum.
However, I have large man sized hands so have to wear men’s gloves and have size 8 feet.

I used to work with a short man with massive hands. His nickname was "Mole".

I'm a size 12 in most shops.

@FreekStar

I'm 5'7" and weigh 10st10lb so just a little more than you, and I don't feel thin at all. I'm definitely carrying some extra fat at this weight even though my BMI is healthy, and would like to be more like 9 1/2 stone to feel really healthy. So I would say ignore him- you are not too thin!

Never been below 10st my whole life. I think for me I'd probably be too thin/light at 9st7.

I hope you achieve your goal though :)

It sounds like a healthy weight = well done OP and ignore the comments. I'm around 10st 8 and would love to shift a few more pounds to get to that weight.

@PeppermintTea2021 thank you. I hope you reach your target.

I'm 5'7.5 and was a size 14 in jeans at your current weight! Mainly because I had a big bum.

Oh I’ve had this. Despite my GP having told me I am a perfectly healthy weight for my height. Some people just can’t hack it that you now look better than them. Ignore it.

"Do you think your DH is worried that you’re taking it too far or that the fasting is indicative (to him) that you’ve developed a problem with food and this is his roundabout way of voicing his concerns? "

IF isn't that kind of fasting. I do it to maintain my weight. In my case I just don't have breakfast and eat more than I used to at lunch. You'd have to be very paranoid to think that was dangerous fasting.
OP's nowhere close to being underweight either.

I had a few comments when I lost a bit of weight. DP knows better than to comment though about my weight although I knew he didn't like it much. I think people just get used to seeing you a certain way and weight loss can destabilise their view of you. It seems to unnervecsome people!

It sounds like you have a, good BMI, although BMI calculations, are only ever good as a rough guide and doesn't take into account people's build. At 5'10 my lowest healthy BMI is 9 stone 3, but as a medium build, that would definitely be way too low for me - in fact, I don't even think my body would allow it!

Just from those number you dont sound 'too thin', you currently weigh the same as me and the same height and Im 21 weeks pregnant and prefectly healthy.

When not pregnant Im usually a stone lighter (I do core excersize but Im not very muscular just toned) and still in normal range

When a teen I was several stone lighter and while I was underweight as a teen it was natural and I had no health issues from my weight.

Unless you have a specific medical concern I dont see any issue with your height/weight/BMI.

@MyDcAreMarvel

No.

I was a size 10 at 5”7 and 10 stone. An 8 at 9 and a half stone.

And I did look quite drawn in the face, OP, and was definitely slender/wiry- but not “too thin”. I did get those comments though.

@thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear

No but I’ve lost weight and reached a healthy BMI, and had lots of similar comments from friends/colleagues. I really wasn’t “too thin” at all, but did look completely different after losing 5 stone. Now I’m sadly fat again, with a BMI in the high 30’s. Funnily enough, nobody seems to be bothered now!

Funny how its socially acceptable to tell something they're too thin, but absolutely not acceptable to tell someone they're too fat.

I have a friend who lost a lot of weight a few years ago. She was probably in the obese category and got herself down to about 11 stone at around 5ft 7 (was a size 12). She did it healthily and incorporated sports but people made comments such as "ooh...don't lose any more weight". Yes, she looked very different and that takes people some getting used to but she was happy and healthy and the comments upset her after her hard work. She said to me that even the well-meaning and praising comments got to her in the end as she wasn't losing weight for other people's approval, it was for her own health and to be able to exercise, so she didn't like the comments on her body. She has fluctuated a bit over the years but has pretty much kept it off and now does triathlons.

I am 5ft 6.5 and no idea how much I weigh as I don't like the way a number makes me feel about myself but I have lost a bit of weight since Xmas (lockdown gain) and can fit into my size 12 clothes, run approx 15 miles a week and feel great so I don't really care what the scales would tell me.