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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday decline aibu

261 replies

Namechange19op · 10/03/2021 22:02

Worked at my current employer just over 1 year less than 2

Im a single mum one little boy aged 7 my parents and family live in wales and I am in london and his dad isnt around much

Work told me today the holiday I requested for easter school holidays are declined because its over a busy period and they dont allow holidays at that time

I did work there last year at the same busy time but they altered my role to wfh with covid. My job cant really be done at home full time I open post do filing print alot of docs etc and so am back in our office. I asked if I could wfh this time but the tasks i need to do are office based.

The company is small around 20 people and 1 other lady does same job as me but no kids so she doesnt care about holidays ban

Aibu to think this is unfair. I have ZERO help. I earn a pittance (around 11k) work either mornings or afternoons depending on the day.

Senior management are not budging as other people asked for holidays and got declined. Hr is outsourced.

Aibu to think i should be given this time off

OP posts:
MyLittleOrangutan · 10/03/2021 22:06

They're not required to give you it off. They have a right to decline holidays. Your childcare isn't their responsibility. It's really a no brainer.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/03/2021 22:10

It’s up to them. I can see how it’s put you in a tough spot but not much you can do.

ememem84 · 10/03/2021 22:11

They have a right to decline holidays if over busy work periods. Childcare (or lack of) isn’t their issue.

And it would be grossly unfair of them to give the holiday to you and not others. So a blanket ban is the fairest way.

LIZS · 10/03/2021 22:11

So it is only a few hours a day? Can you find a childminder or activity club? do Agree there is no obligation for them to allow it , presumably you have to cover other school holidays and inset days.

purplemyrtleface · 10/03/2021 22:12

This is your problem not theirs unfortunately OP. Have you asked his dad if he could have him when you are in your shift?? I would just call in sick if not. Sorry I'm not that helpful.

Level32 · 10/03/2021 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RB68 · 10/03/2021 22:15

Look for a more accomodating job - it is v low pay for London - not sure how you even survive. You could look for free or low cost holiday clubs - they do exist so might be worth exploring. The other alternative is buddying up with nother parent and swapping some childcare but that means they need to be local, kids need to get on and hrs need to match up so you can cover for each other.

It might be worth asking for some o the time rather than all of the time as well - although to be fair even if the office is busy seems crazy not to give you the whole holiday period off and all it does is build resentment in staff.

RB68 · 10/03/2021 22:16

a blanket ban is not fair on anyone - its equal but not fair

PixieLaLa · 10/03/2021 22:17

YABU and just because you are a single mum it does not make you anymore entitled to holiday over any other employees. Not a good attitude at all.

Lazypuppy · 10/03/2021 22:18

YABU

WombatWomb · 10/03/2021 22:20

Many companies do this unfortunately, it's not unusual. No holiday during busy periods.

wusbanker · 10/03/2021 22:27

I'd be getting symptoms that week I think. You aren't earning enough to put the business needs above your own.

BoomBoomsCousin · 10/03/2021 22:29

If time off during school holidays is a priority for you, you need to think about this when looking for work.

I don't think you're unreasonable to be concerned about how you manage work and a family life in the situation you're in. But I don't think the onus can be on individual firms to provide the flexibility you want at a cost to their performance without that burden being shared with all firms. Its makes them less competitive and will mean they will be less inclined to hire mothers and, especially, single mothers.

Chloemol · 10/03/2021 22:29

YABU. Just because you have a child is irrelevant. They have explained why, they are not obliged to give you holiday when you request it

I am sure some of the other 20 have kids they would like to be on holiday with, but can’t because it’s a blanket ban

What are you going to domfor care during all the other school holidays? You will just have to do that here

Original poster
Namechange19op · 10/03/2021 22:30

I do claim tax credits
Yes things are tight financially I get some money from my parents towards my rent

Hours of work are 9.30-1.30 and 11-2.30

I will ask some of the parents are school if they can help at all.

Ex works self employed- he often tells me he cant help as hes working away etc but its usually BS he cant commit to days 100,% apparently

Just seems so unfair. Yes I know there are mainy school hols and inset days and alot more of them than i get allocated leave. I just cant believe they are not giving me any flexibility

OP posts:
WineIsMyMainVice · 10/03/2021 22:33

@wusbanker

I'd be getting symptoms that week I think. You aren't earning enough to put the business needs above your own.
This is likely to end up in op facing a disciplinary process. Probably not going to be helpful.
Original poster
Namechange19op · 10/03/2021 22:34

In 6 week break my parents will come collect him and take him to theirs for a week or even 2 that gives me a break.

They cant help in easter because they are too busy with work themselves (not to mention covid)

I will have to take dependency leave on the day but obv not paid Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange19op · 10/03/2021 22:36

I did think this....if i phone in sick i wont get paid I bet.

This would look a bit suspect

Your right I don't get paid enough to care and I don't care really. I just need the money. I dont think another job will give me the 3.5-4 hours a day and tbh its easy steady paced work in a nice calm office with no stress. I wont get that elsewhere

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange19op · 10/03/2021 22:38

@Chloemol

YABU. Just because you have a child is irrelevant. They have explained why, they are not obliged to give you holiday when you request it

I am sure some of the other 20 have kids they would like to be on holiday with, but can’t because it’s a blanket ban

What are you going to domfor care during all the other school holidays? You will just have to do that here

Just to add yes others do have kids almost everyone else does but they also have partners who can take time off! And parents and family near by. I dont want to move or leave my job but is that my only options here
OP posts:
Porridgeoat · 10/03/2021 22:38

I think look for another job

Symbion · 10/03/2021 22:41

See if you can negotiate working one or two days a week from home, or some flexitime so you can compress your hours perhaps.

Easter's often tricky in my office too, particularly in years like this when Easter falls before the end of the financial year. It's fairly unusual for it to be this early I think.

If it helps some childcare providers are offering care all through the holiday, for those who need it for work. Sadly I think you just need to face it head on and muddle through. Big picture, it is better that they need you than they can do without you.

whiteroseredrose · 10/03/2021 22:46

It's a pain but some places just won't allow holiday over Easter as it clashes with the end of the tax year.

Normally I'd suggest a holiday club but I assume that there aren't any at the moment.

MyLittleOrangutan · 10/03/2021 22:53

If you called in sick for the week you've requested and been denied holiday you'll be insanely lucky not to be sacked.
It's not their problem that you're a single parent. They have no reason at all to be flexible or give you special treatment. I also don't think they're required to allow you unpaid parental leave, but I'm not 100% sure, I think they can refuse though.

MirandaWestsNewBFF · 10/03/2021 22:53

Reading the comments I can see I’m going to strike a different note here.

Your work aren’t obliged to give you the holiday BUT they should take into account your circumstances, especially given that you are a lone parent and Covid is limiting available childcare options right now. If your colleague is not particularly bothered about having time off in school holidays then it feels a bit unfair of your employer to deny the time.

MadinMarch · 10/03/2021 22:54

I think you need to spwak with your ex because he can't just duck out of childcare like that. It needs to be a shared responsibility and he needs to take on the childcare or the expense of a childminder for half the time.
In your shoes, I'd look for a childminder to cover the hours and claim from tax credits. Your ex could contribute at least the 20% they won't pay.