Holiday decline aibu

[Namechange19op]

Worked at my current employer just over 1 year less than 2

Im a single mum one little boy aged 7 my parents and family live in wales and I am in london and his dad isnt around much

Work told me today the holiday I requested for easter school holidays are declined because its over a busy period and they dont allow holidays at that time

I did work there last year at the same busy time but they altered my role to wfh with covid. My job cant really be done at home full time I open post do filing print alot of docs etc and so am back in our office. I asked if I could wfh this time but the tasks i need to do are office based.

The company is small around 20 people and 1 other lady does same job as me but no kids so she doesnt care about holidays ban

Aibu to think this is unfair. I have ZERO help. I earn a pittance (around 11k) work either mornings or afternoons depending on the day.

Senior management are not budging as other people asked for holidays and got declined. Hr is outsourced.

Aibu to think i should be given this time off

Can you not use a holiday club? I'm a single parent and that is what I have to do in the holidays. Childcare providers are allowed to operate now schools are back open, the one I use is running at Easter.

It's not fair on the other staff if you get this off plenty off them would properly like easter off but can't

Speaking as someone who years ago me and another woman were called into the office and presented with a calendar.
All Christmas ,bank holidays ,summer and other school holidays blacked out and told we couldn't have any of them as we didn't have kids .

I completely empathise with you. It was years ago now and there was no paid help with childcare in those days but the relentless grind of having to cover 13 weeks school hols with exactly 22 days leave is not something I will forget. As I moved up it became financially more viable but gosh it was hard.
I think medium term if you can relocate nearer your parents if they can help that's sensible. If your child's dad won't do hid share it's the only thing that makes sense.

Op, holiday clubs are open, I have already booked for Easter hols, I’m in London. You need these as a single parent anyways, so find suitable ones near you.

In my work we are not allowed to take any time off during August as it's our busiest time. It's shit as obviously that's the summer holiday but those are the rules and my employer can say what they want.

I'd be getting symptoms that week I think. You aren't earning enough to put the business needs above your own.

People fought bloody hard battles for YEARS, went to prison, were executed, injured and all kinds of awful things happened to them and their families so we can have paid sick-leave.

Pulling a stunt like this is not only a slap in the face to your colleagues who might also want time off, but to those who went before. Fucking appalling attitude.

OP, you say this isn’t “fair”, but fair means treating everyone equally without favouritism- what you actually want is to be treated as a special case differently to everyone else, which is the exact opposite of fair.

I appreciate it is hard, but you’ve actually said the job is easy and stares free - you can’t have your cake and eat it, especially at everyone else’s expense.

If my work prioritised holidays for people with children I’d never have any time off!! Why do some people have the attitude that because they have children rules should be different for them! There was one woman at my work who was upset she didn’t have all of Christmas off - she believed because she had kids that she should! I mean we get Christmas Day/Boxing Day off and whatever other days are accepted so I don’t know what her problem was. It was like oh okay I won’t see my family over Xmas because you want to have time off with your kids 😅 not my problem! I think your work are just being fair to everyone!

Look for an admin job in a school OP. You will probably be on more salary (normally hours are 8-4) but you will at least have most of the school holidays off to be with your child (some schools require you to do a couple of weeks over the summer holidays).

Can't you ask and take him to the office with you. Pop him a film on for an hour. Colouring in etc?

I don’t think having children should make you a priority for picking holidays outside the rules. Lots have children and even if they don’t will have other commitments etc.

Moaning about the salary being low when working just a few hours us a choice though. If you want more pay you can work more. Maybe working full time will help cover childcare costs in the holidays and allow your parents to be able to stop helping with bills.

@monkeysox

Can't you ask and take him to the office with you. Pop him a film on for an hour. Colouring in etc?

Completely forbidden where I work. Health and safety/insurance etc.

I'D BE GETTING SYMPTOMS THAT WEEK I THINK. YOU AREN'T EARNING ENOUGH TO PUT THE BUSINESS NEEDS ABOVE YOUR OWN.

What a shit attitude and people wonder why people are reluctant to employ working parents

Its so hard because the fact you have no additional childcare is a massive disadvantage when you a single parent. But your employer won't care about this as its not their issue. We are in rural Wales and have no childcare, no holiday clubs and all childminders are full. So my son is starying with grandparents for a few days then both of us are taking unpaid leave in turns. Hope you sort it out Op.

Just ask work if you can bring ds in with you on those days - at 7yo he can sit and play on a device or read while you process the paperwork.

I would sympathise if some were being allowed leave and not others, but not as there is consistency. OP mentions dad is not around much, but if he is about at all, he should be doing some holiday childcare.

Travelling somewhere for childcare reasons is also acceptable under the Covid restrictions, so going to family in Wales I think would be an option.

My understanding is that whilst Parental Leave cannot be declined, the employer can delay it to different dates that suit the business better. So I wouldn't hang your hat on them permitting it ...

Can you form a bubble with another single parent, and help each other out?

Do people honestly phone in sick because holiday things don't suit them?

@BasiliskStare yes they do. One place I worked at insisted on medical certificates over bank holiday weekends, because of it.

Holiday clubs will be open but likely to get booked up. You’d be better to book one and take the cost than take unpaid leave.
They are correct imho that they can’t give you time off if others have been refused. If they do, that’ll cause bad feeling. If Easter is a busy time, there is little you can do.
Absolutely don’t call in sick if you want to keep your job.

Others will have many different home situations, partners who are shift workers, people who have additional caring responsibilities etc. It's not your employers job to decide who is worthy of special treatment, all employees should be treated the same.

I feel your pain OP and if I were you, I would look for another job. Your role sounds quite admin-based. Could you look for that type of work in a school? That way you would get most if not all the holidays off.

When did you request the holiday leave? If recently, yabvu. If more than 2 months ago and was initially approved yanbu. However, an employer always has the discretion to state when an employee can use their annual leave.

As for your comments that the role is poorly paid, I'd disagree. It's obviously an unskilled position, for which you're earning circa £12 an hour. For someone only working 17.5 hours a week, you're earning quite well I'd say for having school hours only.

You probably need to look at uc though, if you're paying rent as you'd probably receive more via uc than wtc as they'd pay your rent plus an additional top up.

In your situation OP, you MIGHT be better on universal credit than tax credits as it responds flexibly to your childcare costs (in theory- in practice I’ve found it a bit of a trial- but other people have had much easier experience of it, so may be the luck of the draw in terms of who manages your “case”)- so if you had holiday club, you could claim 85% of those costs back- but the month after you’ve paid them, sadly.

Just a thought.

Also- I’d definitely look for another job. What will you do in the summer hols?!