Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday decline aibu

261 replies

Namechange19op · 10/03/2021 22:02

Worked at my current employer just over 1 year less than 2

Im a single mum one little boy aged 7 my parents and family live in wales and I am in london and his dad isnt around much

Work told me today the holiday I requested for easter school holidays are declined because its over a busy period and they dont allow holidays at that time

I did work there last year at the same busy time but they altered my role to wfh with covid. My job cant really be done at home full time I open post do filing print alot of docs etc and so am back in our office. I asked if I could wfh this time but the tasks i need to do are office based.

The company is small around 20 people and 1 other lady does same job as me but no kids so she doesnt care about holidays ban

Aibu to think this is unfair. I have ZERO help. I earn a pittance (around 11k) work either mornings or afternoons depending on the day.

Senior management are not budging as other people asked for holidays and got declined. Hr is outsourced.

Aibu to think i should be given this time off

OP posts:
EL8888 · 11/03/2021 14:28

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl totally. What is it with the non-golden wombs getting above themselves?! Thinking they have a life, can travel, see elderly family members (outside of pandemic times obviously).

yellowbeaker · 11/03/2021 14:43

would they let you do a couple of full days so you needed to get less childcare? that way you would be there for the same number of hours but only need to work 2 days?

SoupDragon · 11/03/2021 15:02

I'm amazed that not a single person has suggested that, just maybe, the child's father should take some responsibility here.

What's the point when the OP has said he won't?

UserTwice · 11/03/2021 15:07

@SoupDragon

I'm amazed that not a single person has suggested that, just maybe, the child's father should take some responsibility here.

What's the point when the OP has said he won't?

Her employer has said they "won't" either. And plenty of people have piled on to say this is unreasonable.
MuddleMoo · 11/03/2021 15:09

OPs question was about if her employer was being unfair though.

UserTwice · 11/03/2021 15:17

@MuddleMoo

OPs question was about if her employer was being unfair though.
And since when has anyone on MN bothered with sticking to answering the actual question and not talking about every other aspect of the OP's life?
HelloDaisy · 11/03/2021 15:17

It’s hard to tell if your employer is being unfair as we don’t know if it’s a flat no, end of discussion, or if they are saying they are too busy over Easter and too many people have asked for the time off.

Smaller companies will find it harder to manage having staff off when busy, although in my experience they also tend to allow more flexibility if possible.

Would they let you bring your ds into work at all? Or could he go to stay with your family in Wales for a while?

It is a hard situation though with no easy answers. Maybe you need to find a school job so as to avoid having this problem with every school holiday...

SoupDragon · 11/03/2021 15:18

Her employer has said they "won't" either.

An employer and a useless absent father are not the same thing.

SoupDragon · 11/03/2021 15:19

With an employer there are legal rights. With an absent father there aren't.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 11/03/2021 15:29

It would also lead to employers not recruiting people with children if they already have a few on the team

It'll probably do that anyway, at least in sectors where staff are easily replaced, which is why it can be wise to be careful what you wish for

Regardless of employment law, many employers won't risk stropping and howls of "Unfaaaiiirrr!!!" when millions are unemployed and there are numerous candidates for every job

MuddleMoo · 11/03/2021 15:34

@UserTwice fair point.

OP have you checked he won't step up this time? I know you said he can't commit to particular days and he doesn't have much of a relationship (sounds like you've done a great job of going it allusions btw) but have you asked him recently in case he's stopped being so useless?

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 11/03/2021 15:42

EL8888 If you haven't Birthed you have no right to talk about seeing "family." Only families with children actually count, duh.

theemmadilemma · 11/03/2021 15:48

@ememem84

They have a right to decline holidays if over busy work periods. Childcare (or lack of) isn’t their issue.

And it would be grossly unfair of them to give the holiday to you and not others. So a blanket ban is the fairest way.

This. It's shit. But if they do it one it opens the door for all.
theemmadilemma · 11/03/2021 15:51

Only here would the argument that non parents shouldn't be allowed holidays during school holidays come up. FFS people.

Blockedoff · 11/03/2021 18:11

That's the way life is! I also work in a sector that at tax year end no holidays. DH no holiday in December.

It's life.

Original poster
Namechange19op · 11/03/2021 18:43

Hi sorry had a really busy day just catching up..yes i earn 11k but my parents actually give me money each month...they say its my inheritance in advance...i just make ends meet

As i just make ends meet i dont want to pay out for holidays club

Sons dad has said he can help one or two days.... but not committed yet to when

Pp called it- its tax year end. All other holidays have been accommodated even if other parents- men and women- are already off

Ill read some more and reply

OP posts:
rwalker · 11/03/2021 18:46

It's down to the need of the business you shouldn't expect or be given priority because you have kids. Why should your homelife dice other members off staff holidays.

Going by what some people they think it's should be a given that you get it off because you have kids. Imagine if asda and tesco gave everyone with kids Christmas off how would that work.

isitjustlockdown · 11/03/2021 19:50

@Namechange19op

Hi sorry had a really busy day just catching up..yes i earn 11k but my parents actually give me money each month...they say its my inheritance in advance...i just make ends meet

As i just make ends meet i dont want to pay out for holidays club

Sons dad has said he can help one or two days.... but not committed yet to when

Pp called it- its tax year end. All other holidays have been accommodated even if other parents- men and women- are already off

Ill read some more and reply

Quite frankly it's tough if you don't want to pay out for holiday club. Childcare costs are just a part of parenting.

Yes the father should do half and cover half of the cost, but that is a separate issue to your employer allowing holidays or not.

Also, you said upthread you would put in a parental leave request, so you are happy to forgo all wages, but not to pay for holiday club?

icelollycraving · 12/03/2021 07:02

Childcare is part of life for most working parents. I have always paid as I prefer a business transaction than favours with others. Much less stressful.
It is baffling you’d rather use up parental leave on zero pay than get paid and use childcare.

MuddleMoo · 12/03/2021 07:33

You will have to pay out for holiday club and take the hit I think. Would your son's dad help with this? Tax year end happens every year and so if you can't manage to sort something out you might need to look for a job in another sector.

Mylovelyhorsee · 12/03/2021 07:50

@Namechange19op this is crap
Op. Can you start looking for a new job with a more sympathetic employer?

dontdisturbmenow · 12/03/2021 08:22

As i just make ends meet i dont want to pay out for holidays club
You think anyone does? Why are you special that should mean they should accommodate you so you don't have pay for childcare, ever?

It's the only time of the year they are inflexible. Can't you see how entitled you come across?

UserTwice · 12/03/2021 08:25

[quote Mylovelyhorsee]@Namechange19op this is crap
Op. Can you start looking for a new job with a more sympathetic employer?[/quote]
OP has a school hours job. Her employer is pretty flexible generally.
The only constraint is that no leave is allowed at financial year end, which happens to coincide with the school Easter holidays this year.

Most people would consider that to be a pretty perfect job! It's only an issue because OP doesn't want to pay for 2 weeks of childcare.

Haenow · 12/03/2021 11:08

YABU purely because you don’t want to pay for childcare. That’s what happens when you have children!

HalzTangz · 12/03/2021 11:10

@Namechange19op

Worked at my current employer just over 1 year less than 2

Im a single mum one little boy aged 7 my parents and family live in wales and I am in london and his dad isnt around much

Work told me today the holiday I requested for easter school holidays are declined because its over a busy period and they dont allow holidays at that time

I did work there last year at the same busy time but they altered my role to wfh with covid. My job cant really be done at home full time I open post do filing print alot of docs etc and so am back in our office. I asked if I could wfh this time but the tasks i need to do are office based.

The company is small around 20 people and 1 other lady does same job as me but no kids so she doesnt care about holidays ban

Aibu to think this is unfair. I have ZERO help. I earn a pittance (around 11k) work either mornings or afternoons depending on the day.

Senior management are not budging as other people asked for holidays and got declined. Hr is outsourced.

Aibu to think i should be given this time off

If it's a blanket company ban there is nothing you can do other than call in sick, but that may risk your job