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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday decline aibu

261 replies

Namechange19op · 10/03/2021 22:02

Worked at my current employer just over 1 year less than 2

Im a single mum one little boy aged 7 my parents and family live in wales and I am in london and his dad isnt around much

Work told me today the holiday I requested for easter school holidays are declined because its over a busy period and they dont allow holidays at that time

I did work there last year at the same busy time but they altered my role to wfh with covid. My job cant really be done at home full time I open post do filing print alot of docs etc and so am back in our office. I asked if I could wfh this time but the tasks i need to do are office based.

The company is small around 20 people and 1 other lady does same job as me but no kids so she doesnt care about holidays ban

Aibu to think this is unfair. I have ZERO help. I earn a pittance (around 11k) work either mornings or afternoons depending on the day.

Senior management are not budging as other people asked for holidays and got declined. Hr is outsourced.

Aibu to think i should be given this time off

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 10/03/2021 23:25

Shame that they forget that employment is a two way street. I have worded for people like this before. As a PP said, giving you nothing in the way of flexibility and support but expecting you to bend over backwards for them. My last job was like this and as soon as I realised I started doing my job, and JUST my job. I no longer helped out, worked over, took calls at home etc. I am certain that that contributed to them "letting me go" due to Covid, that and it not costing them anything due to my length of service being less than 2 years.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/03/2021 23:25

Oh and my boss could never work out why they have such a high turnover of staff.....Hmm I wonder.... Hmm

BungleandGeorge · 10/03/2021 23:33

The pay isn’t that bad, it would be about 27k fte? I’d either put in a parental leave request or find a holiday club. They are allowed to run, often nurseries will still take up to 8s for school holidays. If you’re in an urban area there will be things running and you can get childcare vouchers/ tax credits to help with cost. If they’ve declined others they really can’t give you the holiday!

BoomBoomsCousin · 10/03/2021 23:36

They are a pretty shitty employer if they don’t have sufficient staff to allow 1 person a bit of time off in school holidays. I expect they’ll have trouble retaining decent staff.

If that school holiday coincides with a spike in demand for your service (which the OP seems to indicate is the case here), that would mean paying for too many staff most of the year. In a competitive market place, that could well make you too expensive and mean you soon aren't employing anyone at all.

Mamanyt · 10/03/2021 23:37

IF they were giving others time off on holidays, then you would not be unreasonable to feel this way. However, they are not. This is a company policy, and it is highly unreasonable (if very human) to want/expect them to change their policy to accommodate your special needs. Let's be honest, every employee they have has some special need or another.

It is a pity, for your sake, but quite reasonable of them.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/03/2021 23:38

Not being insulting to the OP, far from it, but from how she described her job its seems like something a temp could step in and do for a couple of weeks. She gets unpaid leave and they use her wages to pay for a temp, its what I would do in their position!

icegarden · 10/03/2021 23:39

Use holiday clubs. I have to do that

icegarden · 10/03/2021 23:40

And where I am childcare holiday clubs are all open

TDMN · 10/03/2021 23:43

Problem is if they've turned other people down then they can hardly approve you over those other people - if they allowed an additional person off then it should be first come first served.
When did you apply for the leave and did they tell you straight away they couldnt do it or have they left you in the lurch last minute? Is it a blanket ban for everyone during this time or can they only have xx people off during busy periods and xx are already off?

sunflowersandbuttercups · 10/03/2021 23:46

If you job share, can't the other person go full time to cover the holidays, and you do the same the following two weeks?

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 10/03/2021 23:48

others do have kids almost everyone else does but they also have partners who can take time off
Maybe the others' partners attitude to taking time off is similar to the father of your child?

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 10/03/2021 23:51

I think YABU sorry. Although I do sympathise. I'm also a single parent. I used to work in care. There were certain times of year when we were not allowed to take leave (eg Christmas). I just had to make it work.

BritWifeinUSA · 10/03/2021 23:59

If your child’s father won’t step up to the plate in terms of time, he will need to step up to the plate in terms of money to fund childcare so that you can work. You are not automatically entitled to the days off that you want, especially if the staff handbook says that there are limits on numbers during busy periods. I’m not surprised it’s been declined if you’ve just now applied for annual leave for Easter. In many places school holiday dates are snapped up months and months in advance.

lanthanum · 11/03/2021 00:08

If it's all school holidays that are busy periods, you probably need to look for other jobs, but if it's just Easter I think you just have to accept that it goes with the job.

One thing you could ask about is whether you could shift your hours around during the holidays. Obviously a few hours in the middle of the day is ideal in termtime, and they have created a role that works for school days. Maybe you could do alternate days working a full day during the holiday, if that would make childcare easier.
Look out for other parents who work part-time at your child's school. You might be able to trade some childcare with them. Or if any are teachers, they might be delighted to do a deal whereby you have their child after school sometimes in termtime, and they have yours for some mornings in the holidays. It's probably a bit late to get something like that going by Easter (unless you're already friends with someone for whom that would work), but worth exploring for the future.

Seventytwo · 11/03/2021 01:10

YANBU OP. Irritatingly, many people don’t seem to see (or care about) the link between inflexible employers and women’s persistently lower wages. More frustrating still are the “just find a better job” type comments. Yes, I’m sure OP can just take her pick of well-paid flexible working options as a single parent in the midst of a recession! Jesus wept.

I’m sorry you’re in this situation OP Flowers Do you belong to a union at work?

BritWifeinUSA · 11/03/2021 01:15

@Seventytwo

YANBU OP. Irritatingly, many people don’t seem to see (or care about) the link between inflexible employers and women’s persistently lower wages. More frustrating still are the “just find a better job” type comments. Yes, I’m sure OP can just take her pick of well-paid flexible working options as a single parent in the midst of a recession! Jesus wept.

I’m sorry you’re in this situation OP Flowers Do you belong to a union at work?

Low wages? It’s £27k FTE for opening the mail and handling some admin.
MixedUpFiles · 11/03/2021 01:22

I know this is very office dependent and some office cultures would never allow it, but mine would be fine with you bringing in a school age child for a shift that was a few hours long. Give dc some screen time with headphones and let dc sit in your workspace while you work.

MouthAche · 11/03/2021 01:33

Why should you be given the time off?

It doesnt work like that

FleurPower123 · 11/03/2021 01:34

I feel your pain. I love my job and so glad to have escaped the office hierarchy for the most part, but it sucked on boxing day knowing I had to be up at 4am on the 27th as I couldn't have a tipple.

RebeccaBristol · 11/03/2021 02:49

I don't understand why you can't find paid childcare for the school holidays? We live in a medium sized town and my kids primary school has e-mailed about two options of holiday clubs in our town. This is without be investigating options. I can't believe in London there can't be paid childcare options available?

Amanduh · 11/03/2021 03:02

Find another job... move, the pay is crap etc.. but OP gets paid 11k a year for 2 hours work a day?
Good luck finding another job that pays like that.
Holiday clubs, after school clubs and wrap around childcare are now allowed to open.

Amanduh · 11/03/2021 03:02

Sorry. Three hours..

Porridgeoat · 11/03/2021 05:30

Crap pay and the job doesn’t even give you any flexibility. Move back closer to your parents

May17th · 11/03/2021 05:43

@Namechange19op can’t you use a play scheme? I would search quickly before they get booked up. How do manage in the summer holidays?

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/03/2021 05:53

I’d do everything I could today to find cover. You’re only working a few hours daily so plenty of time to exhaust possibilities before you go for the parental leave option.

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