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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Harry threw Meghan to the lions

436 replies

Arielsvoice · 09/03/2021 16:00

OK apologies its another thread on this but hear me out

So I've watched the interview and I think Harry actually comes off looking much worse and that Meghan is actually suffering because he's a pretty shit partner.

On watching it and if you take what she says at face value:

Why didn't he tell her what it was all about given that she said she didn't know anything about the royals?

Why didn't he warn her what happened to his mother if she was that unaware?

Why didn't he arrange mental health support given he's had a therapist on speed dial for years?

Why didn't he stand up against Kate if she made Meghan cry?

Why have another child if he knows that there won't be any security for Archie?

Why not sort out a realistic plan to support himself before leaving rather than making knee jerk reactions which put his wife and child at risk?

So many questions that actually make Harry look like a pretty shit husband. To me he seems to be the one that is responsible for putting Meghan into the situation she's in now and then to make himself look better throws his family under the bus rather than take responsibility.

YANBU - Harry needs to take some responsibility for Meghan's experiences

YABU - he is not to blame for what happened to her.

OP posts:
Quirrelsotherface · 10/03/2021 14:46

Unfortunately I think he is a bit of a lost soul and not as level headed as William, which has no doubt contributed to the entire situation. Losing your mum at such a young age can have a life-long impact and unfortunately I think what we are seeing now is the result of Diana passing.

SeldomFollowedIt · 10/03/2021 14:54

@Spidey66

Oh you mean BPD, oh sorry I can’t keep up 😉!!

Not unusual for complete narcissists to lie outrageously either for their own gain. Anyway I’m not here to be a Mumsnet psychotherapist, or play professional top trumps with you.

I do not believe her.

RootyT00t · 10/03/2021 15:02

@SeldomFollowedIt

Not buying it. Her mother was a social worker working specifically in MH services. Pour me another drink and try again Megs. Embarassing.
I hope you don't say these views in public. Megan will never hear it but your suicidal friends will.
RootyT00t · 10/03/2021 15:03

[quote SeldomFollowedIt]@Spidey66

Indeed, but she has form for dysfunctional behaviour. Didn’t Google her future husband who happens to be the prince of England.

Okay righto.[/quote]
She can't win that one though.

If she had she would be accused of choosing him deliberately.

sonicsonic · 10/03/2021 15:09

Meghan felt she needed to be hospitalised-admitted to somewhere, perhaps the Priory. Harry spoke to a therapist-that help is easy to access. Avoiding suicide is something else entirely. In our health care system we take chances with suicidal people, relying on Crisis Teams and only admitting as a last resort. In Meghan's world you probably check in somewhere and get through it there. Given the intensity of the press, she probably felt this more acutely because the circumstances were so oppressive. And I can well imagine that you can't just go where you want to go and no one wanted the "Meghan in Crisis" headlines that would have followed if she'd been admitted anywhere.

sonicsonic · 10/03/2021 15:13

I thought Harry seemed privileged, and slightly patronising, but also much more articulate and reasoned that I'd realised. He answered well and with more assurance than Meghan.

Spidey66 · 10/03/2021 15:14

hope you don't say these views in public. Megan will never hear it but your suicidal friends will.

Quite. You can't assess someone's level of suicide risk by a few sentences on a TV show being interviewed by someone who is not a mental health worker. That is so totally unprofessional.

And BPD has been known as EUPD for at least 5-6 years. It's hardly keeping up to describe it as that.

SeldomFollowedIt · 10/03/2021 15:23

@Spidey66

I was being sarcastic. Me and my colleagues STILL call it BPD, we use the correct term “on paper”.

Like I said, I’m not here to play professional top trumps with you. Don’t believe her. I’m allowed that an opinion because I’m not at work.

NeedanIdea · 10/03/2021 15:27

@Allington

They're allowed to not want to be harassed, demeaned and intruded on whilst still having and maintaining a public profile.

But why should they have a public profile? What have they done to get that apart from being part of the RF? They have no apparent expertise on the topics they want to talk about. The only interest in what they have to say comes because H was born into the RF.

You could say that about all the royals, or any celebrity for that matter.
Allington · 10/03/2021 15:54

I do say that about the RF, except that the ones who don't complain do put up with disadvantages that come with immense, unearned privilege. So they do have some consistency.

And I am not into sleb culture, and don't think many have anything relevant to say. I make exceptions for people like Marcus Rashford who use their experiences and position to speak on something they have lived.

rosetylersbiggun · 10/03/2021 16:07

I think Harry is far more level headed than William (who flies off the handle and starts threatening the press and releasing furious press releases at the tiniest hint of criticism, or any stories he doesn't want about him) because William's grown up with the entire weight of the RF protecting him and cossetting him, knowing that he can do whatever he likes and it'll be covered up and protected. Harry's had to learn how to cope in a family where he's not only treated like a second class citizen, but expected to tolerate shit like his family releasing negative stories or even lies about him to the press to bribe the press to kill negative stories about his big brother, because protecting his brother is everyone's top priority.

Something like that must do a real number on you.

I do agree that Harry didn't cover himself in glory in the interview, and it raises questions about why he didn't do more to protect and prepare his wife. Maybe he didn't realise how toxic an environment it was because it was all he'd ever known.

It was incredibly noticeable how differently they both handled the interview. Meghan was trying her hardest to be diplomatic and be a peacemaker and to say nice things as much as possible, while still being honest about the abuse she'd experienced. Harry was much more direct and blunt and pulled no punches. It's always been reported that Harry was the hothead and Meghan was the one trying to play peacemaker (there's that video of William blanking Meghan and Harry getting visibly upset, and Meghan having to try to calm him down) and this came across in the interview.

halloumihalloumi · 10/03/2021 16:19

@rosetylersbiggun - how do you know all of that? Lots of assumptions there.

I think Harry and Meghan truly believe their own narrative but I think they are lacking in any sort of self awareness which isn't unusual for celebrities as they tend to be over confident people generally.

I think there were lots of contradictions and it is hard to know what the truth is but I think the interview was in bad form and was unnecessary. And I struggle to believe the royal family is THAt toxic! Really? In this day and age. I think this has been massively exaggerated

NeedanIdea · 10/03/2021 16:28

It was before the wedding so Kate was either heavily pregnant or at most weeks postpartum. It seems to be some minor spat about bridesmaids dresses, Kate apologised. So why bring it up?

The first question Oprah asked M was Did you make Kate Cry? It's obvious pp keen to slag off Meghan did not even watch the interview Hmm

Spidey66 · 10/03/2021 16:30

[quote SeldomFollowedIt]@Spidey66

I was being sarcastic. Me and my colleagues STILL call it BPD, we use the correct term “on paper”.

Like I said, I’m not here to play professional top trumps with you. Don’t believe her. I’m allowed that an opinion because I’m not at work.[/quote]
I'm not surprised, seeing as a few weeks ago you were saying you were a TA.

SeldomFollowedIt · 10/03/2021 16:38

@Spidey66

Well then if you had cared to read all of my previous threads (seems you’re very interested in me) you would discover I have just LEFT my TA job, to move BACK to the sector I originally trained in. It seems the grass isn’t always greener, but anyway I’m flattered!

Spidey66 · 10/03/2021 16:44

I only wanted to see if we were in the same area of work. But anyway good luck.

RootyT00t · 10/03/2021 16:50

[quote SeldomFollowedIt]@Spidey66

I was being sarcastic. Me and my colleagues STILL call it BPD, we use the correct term “on paper”.

Like I said, I’m not here to play professional top trumps with you. Don’t believe her. I’m allowed that an opinion because I’m not at work.[/quote]
You are allowed to doubt someone's suicidal intentions because you're not at work .

Nice

SeldomFollowedIt · 10/03/2021 16:53

@Spidey66

Thank you. Two months I lasted as a TA. Two terrible months at that. The term time only idea was nice though. Seems even that wasn’t worth it.

Thisbastardcomputer · 10/03/2021 16:53

Place marking

SeldomFollowedIt · 10/03/2021 16:55

@RootyT00t

It’s my own personal opinion. Would I do it at work? Obviously not.

RootyT00t · 10/03/2021 16:55

[quote SeldomFollowedIt]@Spidey66

Thank you. Two months I lasted as a TA. Two terrible months at that. The term time only idea was nice though. Seems even that wasn’t worth it.[/quote]
Mmmm.

I bet they were gutted to lose you with your compassion.

As per your personal opinion, if you wouldn't say it at work you know it's wrong, so why you are so proud of your disgusting views is beyond me.

SeldomFollowedIt · 10/03/2021 17:03

@RootyT00t

In my work context it would be wrong. You place personal opinions/biases/values aside and you get on with the job.

On mumsnet where you are specifically asked for opinions? No, not wrong.

SeldomFollowedIt · 10/03/2021 17:06

Disgusting views because I don’t believe everything MM says? Get a grip dear.

Jbon9087 · 10/03/2021 17:12

@Huelva94
Women are the worst enemy of women...That is why in 2021 we haven't improved our position in society...

Absolutely true. It's frankly frightening that women are so depraved to each other. If anything I'm wondering if its getting worse!

TonTonMacoute · 10/03/2021 17:12

Apparently some palace staff started referring to him as The Hostage.

Sorry, but I find this credible and revealing.

H and M also decided to step away from the protection of the RF PR machine, who had negotiated the truce with the Society of Editors, which was designed to allow William and Harry privacy as they became adults, and to prevent another Diana scenario.

'They' wanted go it alone, I'm sure 'they' found the palace rules constricting, boring and ridiculous and old fashioned, but they then appointed Hilary Clinton's former publicity agent. However, I very much doubt that that was Harry's idea.