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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this an appropriate reaction?

132 replies

sophiet882 · 06/03/2021 21:07

15yr old dd has been meeting her bf the past few days, socially distanced, both have had negative tests, and with masks etc. i have been totally fine with this.
tonight, i called her to ask when she was planning on coming home, and it sounded very quiet, so i asked if she was at his house. she immediately denied it and said that she was just in a sheltered place, still outside. after some probing she admitted she went to his house for 5 minutes while bf checked on his brother because his parents had been out all day. apparently, she stayed downstairs with her mask on.
i was furious that she lied to me, and that she broke covid rules, and told her she was grounded, and to come home immediately.
her argument is that it was only 5 minutes with minimal risks, and that she's going back to school next week anyway, so this is no risk, but i am so angry that she would break the rules.
i'm not sure if this is an reasonable reaction or if my anger is clouding my view.

OP posts:
SquirtleSquad · 06/03/2021 21:10

If you really believe that two 15 years olds who are meeting up as gf and bf are in any way "socially distanced" then YABVU.

GCSE2024 · 06/03/2021 21:11

@SquirtleSquad

If you really believe that two 15 years olds who are meeting up as gf and bf are in any way "socially distanced" then YABVU.
This.
ludothedog · 06/03/2021 21:11

I honestly don't understand your anger. 25 year olds rebel and this is a pretty tame rebellion.

What worries you? The lie or are you worried about Covid?

Honestly I think your DD has done very well if she has just broke covid rules once during all the lockdowns. I would be congratulating her for that but gently reminding her of the rules.

GreenBalaclava · 06/03/2021 21:12

I agree with Squirtle. Even if she hadn't gone inside, there's no way they've been wearing masks and socially distancing up until now!

Thehop · 06/03/2021 21:13

YABVU cut her some slack

Original poster
sophiet882 · 06/03/2021 21:16

i would like to think that she has been! she is normally quite responsible and of course i can't guarentee it but i think there's a good chance that she has been.

OP posts:
greyspottedgoose · 06/03/2021 21:17

I'd let it go, if they are going back to school next week anyway I couldn't get angry over being indoors together instead of outdoors

PurpleMustang · 06/03/2021 21:19

Think there is 2 issues her. The lie and the rules. It was wrong of her to lie. But I would cut her slack on the rules now. They are about to go back to school. And you are slightly naive to think they haven't been at least kissing. They are teen bf and gf they wouldn't of not been holding hands and kissing.

SquirtleSquad · 06/03/2021 21:20

Okay op Grin

ludothedog · 06/03/2021 21:20

You do know that they at least had a good snog -and probably more-

Anyway, I thought that couples were allowed to meet?

Original poster
sophiet882 · 06/03/2021 21:24

i am not just worried about the covid risk, i am terrified of getting a fine if someone see's them going inside together, we really can't afford it and i just think it's so irresponsible.

OP posts:
SnackSizeRaisin · 06/03/2021 21:24

It's unreasonable to be angry. No it's not ideal but it's a minor breach - don't over react. She will just lie to you more in future. Most people are no longer sticking to the rules 100%. It's really not that big a deal

SnackSizeRaisin · 06/03/2021 21:25

Can minors get a fine?

Ihoeihoeihoe · 06/03/2021 21:25

I think she’s right, she’s back to school next week and if there’s no huge risks to your household with someone vulnerable then she hasn't done anything worse than what’ll happen in the school

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 06/03/2021 21:26

Terrified of a fine.... Give over.

Original poster
sophiet882 · 06/03/2021 21:27

give over? money is really tight right now so if she gets caught and we have to pay a fine it will break us financially. Angry

OP posts:
SquirtleSquad · 06/03/2021 21:28

No you have to be 18 to get a fine.
Where U 18s break covid rules the police (according to the met police website) will tell them to disperse, then talk to the parents about stopping them breaking the rules and then fine them.

Original poster
sophiet882 · 06/03/2021 21:28

yes, exactly... they will give me a fine which i cannot afford to pay!!

OP posts:
N4ish · 06/03/2021 21:29

There’s no way they’ve been social distancing! I think you’re overreacting to this, it’s been such a difficult year for teenagers and you should go easy on her.

ludothedog · 06/03/2021 21:29

I do worry about our teens. Locked in for almost a year and no snogging! I shudder to know what they're going to get up to when they're released back into the world. They're going to make up for all that lost time and more BlushGrin

2021isalsorubbish · 06/03/2021 21:30

Erm two 15 year olds with parents gone all day and a free house ... Blush

beelzeboob · 06/03/2021 21:30

You won’t get a fine Op

partyatthepalace · 06/03/2021 21:31

@SquirtleSquad

If you really believe that two 15 years olds who are meeting up as gf and bf are in any way "socially distanced" then YABVU.
Yep.

Of course you are going to tell her off, but to be genuinely angry Is OTT, don’t you remember being 15?

SquirtleSquad · 06/03/2021 21:32

Oh come on you aren't going to get a fine.
Unless they get caught three times. On the first offence they'll disperse said teens, then speak to you on a second instance and then if they keep dicking around so to speak then yes you could potentially get fined.

partyatthepalace · 06/03/2021 21:32

@sophiet882

give over? money is really tight right now so if she gets caught and we have to pay a fine it will break us financially. Angry
Oh bloody hell OP, you won’t have to pay a fine. It’s been a rough year, but your anxiety is getting the better of your common sense.