is this an appropriate reaction?

[sophiet882]

15yr old dd has been meeting her bf the past few days, socially distanced, both have had negative tests, and with masks etc. i have been totally fine with this.
tonight, i called her to ask when she was planning on coming home, and it sounded very quiet, so i asked if she was at his house. she immediately denied it and said that she was just in a sheltered place, still outside. after some probing she admitted she went to his house for 5 minutes while bf checked on his brother because his parents had been out all day. apparently, she stayed downstairs with her mask on.
i was furious that she lied to me, and that she broke covid rules, and told her she was grounded, and to come home immediately.
her argument is that it was only 5 minutes with minimal risks, and that she's going back to school next week anyway, so this is no risk, but i am so angry that she would break the rules.
i'm not sure if this is an reasonable reaction or if my anger is clouding my view.

Title: is this an appropriate reaction?
99.9% of posters: no.
OP: you’re all wrong.

Did you just post so we could all fawn over your devotion to the rules?

I wouldn't be punishing her I would be talking to her about using contraception

Messageskeepgettingclearer

Yes, I am working from home, husband works on his own. They have seen one person each who we know and know of their family set ups. We've not had covid in the house. I am proud of how they have coped this year.

I think what’s hard to grasp op is if you normally have anger management issues and treat her poorly, or if Covid has affected your mental health so badly you’re unable to think straight anymore.

On one hand you’re asking the question, which indicates you don’t normally react like this. On the other you talk about your anger and punishing her as if you like to indulge in a bit of that and that’s how she lives. Tracking her is just so wrong, yet you write it like it’s reasonable

It could be this is Covid related, or it could be she is getting to an age she’s fighting back. It’s hard to tell.

You cannot expect to be listened to and respected if you yourself do not model this behaviour and show angry punitive controlling abusive behaviour.

@sophiet882

we have decided on using find my friends so i can ensure she's not at his house. had a bit of a strop but overall she's fine with it. thanks everyone.

This is way to much for your 15 year old daughter. Does she have a habit of being 'naughty' with other things too that you need to keep such close track of her? Are you going to watch find my friends the entire time she's out??

The more control like this you put on her the more she will end up lashing out. She is going to end up too scared to be truthful with you because you go to such extremes. This will get her in trouble in the long run.

She can move out at 16 also.

When it gets to the level of electronically tracking your 15 year old for something as minor as this, it’s gone far too far.

I wonder if thr op will come back, say she’s apologised to her daughter, and doesn’t know what she was thinking, or if she’s sitting with a cats arse mouth on her , intent on following this through snd treating her child like this.

Worlds fail me OP. I think you need to think really carefully about how you parent you 15 year old. I understand the current situation must be incredibly stressful but the way you've reacted is only likely to cause your daughter to lie to you. Her behaviour is completely age appropriate. I had a mother who sounds a lot like you and we have a very bad relationship because of her controlling behaviour.