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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Day off school on birthday?

553 replies

Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 09:36

What are your thoughts on giving a child the day off school on their birthday? If they are asking for the day off..

OP posts:
Okbussitout · 06/03/2021 10:23

Lol at the people saying they would never book a day off on their birthday and what would you possibly do? Enjoy my life. Lie in bed with a lazy breakfast with some fizz, bath, sex, crafting, eat cake, massage and restaurant at home and that's just lockdown birthday day off.

Unfortunately op I do think its not a great ife for yout son as he doesn't like school so it just sets a dangerous precedent. But do plan something nice for the afternoon or evening.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 06/03/2021 10:24

@Dutchesss

For those saying no, would you go to work on your birthday or book the day off? I'm lucky both my children's birthdays fall in the summer holidays so I haven't had to think about it.
I worked my last birthday.
Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 10:25

IceBearRocks

Ermmmmm because ONE day is not the same as 3 months 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 10:26

And mine are in mainstream so we’ve had the option, if yours are in sen schools then you’ve not had the choice really.

OP posts:
Caramelwhispers · 06/03/2021 10:26

As your child has SEND it's even more important to keep to a routine and be consistent, so a day off school & then back in again won't help him settle.

For both of my kids lockdown birthdays, I did a birthday breakfast, decorated the table and put the gifts out. Then after homeschool, we did a zoom birthday party with family & had a cake to blow out. My family got a birthday cake & aftnoon tea to join in as well. It was nice so there are things you can do to make it special for him.

RaraRachael · 06/03/2021 10:26

I work my birthday every year as I'm a teacher. Wonder what the OP would say if her child's teacher took the day off for their birthday. Grin

Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 10:28

I’ve got a friend whose a teacher that goes on holiday every year for her birthday (pre Covid) so don’t act like they don’t

OP posts:
Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 06/03/2021 10:28

Goatinthegarden

As a child my DH was allowed to have his birthday off school if he wanted to

It’s a very different situation. You have given a day off to a child who is clearly successful and engaged in school. OP has a 7 year old who hates school and wants to avoid it. Speaking from experience, parents allowing days off instead of trying to resolve a problem can quickly spiral into having a school refuser.

No - that was my PIL & they did it because they think birthdays are really special (everyone in the family books a day off work for their own birthday too)

Flowerlane · 06/03/2021 10:28

Mine never go to their school on their birthday.

Newkitchen123 · 06/03/2021 10:29

@Givemeabreak88

I’ve got a friend whose a teacher that goes on holiday every year for her birthday (pre Covid) so don’t act like they don’t
In school time?
AaronPurr · 06/03/2021 10:29

@Givemeabreak88

I’ve got a friend whose a teacher that goes on holiday every year for her birthday (pre Covid) so don’t act like they don’t
Is her birthday during term time? If so I find that difficult to believe.
Okbussitout · 06/03/2021 10:30

@therealteamdebbie

It's so depressing to see how people have abused the school place system and how others children have been penalised because of it. It really shows a nasty side of society.
Your being a bully.

Imagine being the type of person to bully somone with a disabled 7 year old asking for parenting advice about a birthday.

needadvice54321 · 06/03/2021 10:30

@Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons

I’m surprised by the responses- he’s only 7 it’s not exactly an exam year Confused

As a child my DH was allowed to have his birthday off school if he wanted to - he was head boy, went to Uni etc so it didn’t damage his educational life.

I feel the point with your DH is that he was obviously engaged with school so probably the odd day off wouldn't cause issues.

I know of a family who's children hate school, they've been home schooled fully this last year (apart from when schools were properly open) and their mum is very open about how she agrees with them - that school is rubbish- and so the last year has been full of "inset days" "pyjama days" etc. Of course now they don't want to go back! They don't have a great attitude towards it and their parents have instilled that their attitude is correct.

I'd just be careful if you already have children who dislikes school

sunflowersandbuttercups · 06/03/2021 10:30

@Forgetaboutme

Btw can I just say. Most of my colleagues and myself take our birthdays off. Really surprised at the people acting like no adult takes their birthday off. Its very common in my workplace.
I mean, it might be fairly common but plenty of adults don't have a choice and have to work their birthdays - teachers, retail staff who have birthdays over Christmas or sale periods) are just a couple of examples.
Chanel05 · 06/03/2021 10:31

No way.

What would the excuse be? The teacher would know that it was their birthday. It would be unauthorised. Plus, child would come in the following day telling them all about the lovely day they had.

Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 10:31

Yep her birthday is in January, she books it in advance as says it’s a family members wedding.

OP posts:
AintPageantMaterial · 06/03/2021 10:31

DH’s company gives every employee their birthday off work and, if their birthday falls at the weekend, they can choose to take the nearest Monday or Friday. He is a lovely boss.

@Gimmeabreak88 If you do give your DS a day off, consider whether there’s a way to do it without involving him in a lie to school. After all, they will know it’s his birthday. If you ring in on the day, give an excuse that will see reasonable to him so something like “I think he’s just overtired because he didn’t sleep well because he was overexcited about his birthday but I’m going to keep him off just in case”. It’s important that he doesn’t have to spend the following day at school pretending that he was actually ill.

Okbussitout · 06/03/2021 10:31

@RaraRachael

I work my birthday every year as I'm a teacher. Wonder what the OP would say if her child's teacher took the day off for their birthday. Grin
But you chose to be a teacher knowing your holidays would be dictated and you're an adult. It's not remotely the same thing.
MrsTulipTattsyrup · 06/03/2021 10:32

Education in this country is compulsory. Children are expected to be in their educational setting on all school days, unless they have a reasonable excuse. When I was a child, this meant if you were too ill to be at school, or if you could spread an infectious illness to other children. That’s it. Parents didn’t consider the option of deciding to keep children out for birthdays, or anything else. In the school I attended from 4 to 6, each week the children with birthdays that week were called up to the front during weekly assembly, candles were lit on a polyfilla-iced cake shaped block, and the school sang happy birthday. Once I got to junior school - nothing! Of course! Birthdays were celebrated after school with family, and then in a weekend party with school friends. Nobody felt deprived because of it. It wasn’t school’s job to make you feel special.

I don’t know why things have changed so much. When school is open, you go to school. Anything else makes it seem like it’s okay not to be there some or all of the time. Why is there even a question about this? Imagine if all school age children got the day off for their birthday. Probably 1/12 would miss an important exam. More would miss a piece of work vital for an exam, or for future learning. But I know a lot of people here don’t care about the burden they place on teachers, so I won’t labour that point. Would those with birthdays in holidays demand a term-time day off at another time, because it wasn’t ‘fair’? Where does it end? We seem to have gone too far down the route of allowing young people to run their own lives before they have the knowledge and maturity to do so.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 06/03/2021 10:32

@Givemeabreak88

Yep her birthday is in January, she books it in advance as says it’s a family members wedding.
Every year on the same day? Hmm

Bollocks.

kooked · 06/03/2021 10:32

@Soubriquet

Here we go again

Shall I do?

Everyone:- No
Op:- but he really wants to
Everyone:- still no
Op:- I’m gonna do it anyway

Why bother asking if you was going to do what you wanted to anyway?

Aye!

Norwaydidnthappen · 06/03/2021 10:32

Nope. I have 5 DC and somehow 4 of them have birthdays in the school holidays so you can imagine how aggrieved DC1 feels Grin. His birthday has fallen over the weekend for the past couple of years so he’s been over the moon. I’d never even think to let him skip school for that. We usually do something after school and have a nice breakfast with him too then celebrate it properly the weekend before or after.

Tal45 · 06/03/2021 10:33

I think taking the day off is just going to make it that much harder for him to go in the day after. He may also question why if he didn't have to go on his birthday does he have to go on other days.

I'd give him his birthday the weekend BEFORE his actual birthday so he has two days off and plenty of time to play with with his presents and he's not having to wait until later in the day or the weekend after. We give our ASD son his early for this reason.

It seems strange to me though that you sent him in during lock down knowing he didn't like it , when he didn't have to go and could have worked from home, but now don't want to send him in on his birthday.

Lilyargin · 06/03/2021 10:33

No. Ridiculous idea. Really not good at all. It’s not teaching him just to get on with things.

Nomorepies · 06/03/2021 10:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request