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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Day off school on birthday?

553 replies

Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 09:36

What are your thoughts on giving a child the day off school on their birthday? If they are asking for the day off..

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 06/03/2021 09:48

I sympathise @Givemeabreak88. Is his birthday Mon/ Fri or midweek? Could you agree to just moving it? It's not even like you can say ok go to school and we'll go somewhere great after. I mean where, Maccies Drive Through??

Caramelwhispers · 06/03/2021 09:49

No way because once you concede to this request then it's a slippery slope to all other requests. Find out the reason wjy doesn't like school and then fix that. Speak to his teachers, come up with a mental health plan to help him. Maybe he needs counselling as so many kids are affected by the pandemic. Having a day off school isn't the answer.

pastapestoparmesan · 06/03/2021 09:49

I think you’d be better off looking into why he says he ‘hates’ school, than feeding into the idea that it’s something negative.

MaryShelley1818 · 06/03/2021 09:50

No, definitely not.

AlwaysLatte · 06/03/2021 09:51

Primary school, I did occasionally, when they went through phases of not liking school, but mostly not. Their attendance was generally excellent.

Nellle · 06/03/2021 09:51

No, it teaches the child the wrong message and he'll hate school all the more the next day when he returns and is behind on his work.

From my experience, most of the time the teachers know when a family do this and it doesn't make a good impression.

ohhhhitsme · 06/03/2021 09:51

I'd usually not even think about it, they have to school to school on their birthday. However my DS celebrated his 6th birthday the first week of lockdown last year so is about to celebrate another birthday in lockdown. I've given him the option to stay off (he's managed with six months off school, what's another day) but have been swaying him towards the 'but it would be nice to see your friends in school on your birthday'

Waxonwaxoff0 · 06/03/2021 09:52

No. Wouldn't even consider it.

Lilmzsnowflake · 06/03/2021 09:52

I think it sets a risky precedent, if you do it this year then will be expect it every year? That’s not going to be easy to manage.
Mine love school birthdays as they get a bit of fuss made of them and can share cakes and sweets (usually).
That said, both mine had birthdays while homeschooling and I did let them have the day off that, as long as the work was done on a different day.

Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 09:53

Yeh that’s my feelings he normally goes to school on his birthday but this past year has been particularly bad and now he has a birthday in lock down I think rules of what I did before go out the window tbh, he’s been in school throughout he hasn’t been off.

OP posts:
Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 09:54

No sweets or cakes allowed in

OP posts:
ZaraW · 06/03/2021 09:54

Telling your child no isn't "mean", it's parenting.

therealteamdebbie · 06/03/2021 09:55

Absolutely not

I love that schools are barely reopening and parents are already talking about taking their kids off school for various days off and holidays...
And sadly around here it's usually the ones who blagged a "key worker" space (and are not remotely close to being a genuine critical worker)

ohhhhitsme · 06/03/2021 09:56

Just to add, two weeks ago we didn't even know if they would be back in school or not. This is when I was saying if they are back, I might keep him off anyway as me and DH had booked the day off work.
I'd have also been honest with the teacher about it, she knows we have done more than enough learning at home as it's been commented on. I just wanted the option to plan a special second lockdown birthday, obviously just us and no guests, seeing as can't actually do much after school

therealteamdebbie · 06/03/2021 09:56

he’s been in school throughout he hasn’t been off.
bingo.

FreddyTheFlute · 06/03/2021 09:56

@SleepingStandingUp

Why?! Because he hates school *@FreddyTheFlute* and it can be hard enough to get him out the door as it is, I'm expecting it to be worse when they go back next week, and the idea of on top of that being all "no presents, no cake etc until you come home" sees especially mean after a frankly shit 12+ months and his second birthday in partial lockdown
It would be more beneficial for him, and you all, to deal with the issues, rather than lie about when his birthday is.

You could also get up early, have a birthday party breakfast, open presents then. You don't have to announce NO PRESENTS UNTIL YOU GET HOME. Pancakes as a breakfast cake. Why would he not be able to open presents in the morning before school?

Dutchesss · 06/03/2021 09:56

For those saying no, would you go to work on your birthday or book the day off? I'm lucky both my children's birthdays fall in the summer holidays so I haven't had to think about it.

activitythree · 06/03/2021 09:56

@Givemeabreak88

He doesn’t like school hence him asking for the day off. He will be turning 7. Just to add he’s been at school throughout so he hasn’t been at home.

Why has he been at school?

Lulu1919 · 06/03/2021 09:56

Noooo

Original poster
Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 09:57

Excuse me I’m not a key worker, my child has a disability hence being in school, go be rude somewhere else.

OP posts:
rawlikesushi · 06/03/2021 09:57

I think you'd be setting a bit of an unnecessary precedent.

You think it's a one-off but it won't be once he realises you're susceptible to persuasion.

If you can't stand up to a 7yo you're going to have some difficult teen years.

Teach him a bit of resilience - send him in, celebrate before/after school, day out or party once it's possible again.

Lulu1919 · 06/03/2021 09:58

@Givemeabreak88

He doesn’t like school hence him asking for the day off. He will be turning 7. Just to add he’s been at school throughout so he hasn’t been at home.
If you're a KW then no If he's been in cos vulnerable no
FreddyTheFlute · 06/03/2021 09:58

@rawlikesushi

I think you'd be setting a bit of an unnecessary precedent.

You think it's a one-off but it won't be once he realises you're susceptible to persuasion.

If you can't stand up to a 7yo you're going to have some difficult teen years.

Teach him a bit of resilience - send him in, celebrate before/after school, day out or party once it's possible again.

All of this
Biker47 · 06/03/2021 09:59

@Dutchesss

For those saying no, would you go to work on your birthday or book the day off? I'm lucky both my children's birthdays fall in the summer holidays so I haven't had to think about it.
Irrelevant. I'm an adult, and can take holidays from work whenever I choose. I was in work during my last birthday, because birthdays are nothing special.
rawlikesushi · 06/03/2021 09:59

@Dutchesss

For those saying no, would you go to work on your birthday or book the day off? I'm lucky both my children's birthdays fall in the summer holidays so I haven't had to think about it.
Go into work. Enjoy the evening. Celebrate properly on a weekend day. Always surprised by adults who are perturbed by a work-day birthday but maybe they started off like op's ds.