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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Day off school on birthday?

553 replies

Givemeabreak88 · 06/03/2021 09:36

What are your thoughts on giving a child the day off school on their birthday? If they are asking for the day off..

OP posts:
Caramelwhispers · 06/03/2021 10:12

*@therealteamdebbie
children eligible for a lockdown school place

"Following the Prime Minister’s announcement on 4 January 2021, only children of critical workers and vulnerable children and young people should attend school or college. All other pupils and students will receive remote education.

Vulnerable children and young people
Vulnerable children and young people include those who:

are assessed as being in need under section 17 of the Children Act 1989, including children and young people who have a child in need plan, a child protection plan or who are a looked-after child
have an education, health and care (EHC) plan
have been identified as otherwise vulnerable by educational providers or local authorities (including children’s social care services), and who could therefore benefit from continued full-time attendance, this might include:
children and young people on the edge of receiving support from children’s social care services or in the process of being referred to children’s services
adopted children or children on a special guardianship order
those at risk of becoming NEET (‘not in employment, education or training’)
those living in temporary accommodation
those who are young carers
those who may have difficulty engaging with remote education at home (for example due to a lack of devices or quiet space to study)
care leavers
others at the provider and local authority’s discretion including pupils and students who need to attend to receive support or manage risks to their mental health"

RaraRachael · 06/03/2021 10:12

Ridiculous idea. We have a family who take the day off for child's and all siblings birthdays and then ask for the work they've missed Grin

Goatinthegarden · 06/03/2021 10:12

@Dutchesss

For those saying no, would you go to work on your birthday or book the day off? I'm lucky both my children's birthdays fall in the summer holidays so I haven't had to think about it.
I’m a teacher with a term time birthday. I don’t have the option of booking the day off...
Forgetaboutme · 06/03/2021 10:13

Ok so you've decided to keep him off. Thats fine, thats your decision to make. It's not the end of the world and not as bad as people are making out. I'm sure you will have a lovely, special day together.

In the future though just make your decision and own it. No shame in that.

therealteamdebbie · 06/03/2021 10:13

*sparepantsandtoothbrush
Or did you think it was only key worker children who were allowed in school?

oh no, I am very aware of the list and how parents have abused the system, thanks.

IceBearRocks · 06/03/2021 10:14

@Givemeabreak88

Excuse me I’m not a key worker, my child has a disability hence being in school, go be rude somewhere else.
My DS has profound multiple disabilities and has not been in school throughout lockdown...neither has my child with ASD. It has been your choice to send him to school. Now its your choice to keep him off.

What I don't understand is..I'd he doesn't like school, why not take the opportunity to have him home during lockdown?

My children don't get the day off on birthdays... you are the parent you decide !

ForeverBubblegum · 06/03/2021 10:14

I understand why you would be tempted, but I really wouldn't. Once you open up the possibly of not going in, then he's going to ask again, and next time it will be with the expectation that you will say yes. So either you get a snowball effect of more and more days off, or even bigger diserpointment/tantrum next time if you say no, because to him it will be reframe as 'you can stay off, but mums been mean and not letting me'.

MrMucker · 06/03/2021 10:14

@Givemeabreak88

What are your thoughts on giving a child the day off school on their birthday? If they are asking for the day off..
There are two levels to this. Firstly if a birthday is a good reason for a day off? Answer-hmmm, white lies and excuses make this pretty common, I'd say. Not condoning, just saying it is something people do, both at school and at work. But Secondly "If they are asking for a day off" Well if that's a good idea at the age of six then you can kiss all your parental authority goodbye for life.
SpnBaby1967 · 06/03/2021 10:14

I remember back in the 80s getting the day off school for my birthday and my parents taking me to the new Toys R Us shop just built locally. It was amazing! Grin

But, no I wouldn't do this now. Celebrate when he gets home from school. I always give my kids the choice between opening their presents in the morning before school, or after school. They always say after school the night before, but when the morning comes they're too excited to wait Wink

SnowyBranches · 06/03/2021 10:14

@ancientgran Yes I think it would have been more upsetting to have exams on my birthday if I thought my birthday was a super special day that if I had been brought up to realise celebrations don’t have to be on the day itself.

SnowyBranches · 06/03/2021 10:15

Than not that

AaronPurr · 06/03/2021 10:16

I’m a teacher with a term time birthday. I don’t have the option of booking the day off...

Same here. I know you've already made up your mind OP, but please do try and find out why he hates school. If he's already desperate to stay home at 7, it's possible in a few years you'll have a school refusing teenager.

Templetree · 06/03/2021 10:16

@ZaraW

Telling your child no isn't "mean", it's parenting.
Thank god! Someone said it! Utterly ridiculous pandering to keep them off school 🙄
ichundich · 06/03/2021 10:16

We did this year as it was during lockdown and happened to be a Friday, so less work set by the school anyway. But I wouldn't in normal times. Just get up a bit earlier to enjoy a nice breakfast together and open family presents and then do something nice after school.

Goatinthegarden · 06/03/2021 10:17

@Givemeabreak88

I’m gonna give him the day off, we’ve had to isolate so many times And I imagine with all kids back that will be happening more and more, so one day off won’t hurt, thanks for the opinions anyway
This attitude is not going to help him learn to enjoy school or see it as an important place for him to be.
Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 06/03/2021 10:17

I’m surprised by the responses- he’s only 7 it’s not exactly an exam year Confused

As a child my DH was allowed to have his birthday off school if he wanted to - he was head boy, went to Uni etc so it didn’t damage his educational life.

FlyingBurrito · 06/03/2021 10:17

@Dutchesss

For those saying no, would you go to work on your birthday or book the day off? I'm lucky both my children's birthdays fall in the summer holidays so I haven't had to think about it.
That's a joke surely

Where do you work that all the adults book the day off on their birthday?

To the OP no, I wouldn't allow it, never too early to learn that you'll get on better in life if you have a resilient attitude. Going to school for a few hours on your birthday is hardly a big deal

Sirzy · 06/03/2021 10:17

So you going to start sending the message to a child who doesn’t like school that it’s fine to take a day of on a whim?

RedToothBrush · 06/03/2021 10:18

@Soubriquet

Here we go again

Shall I do?

Everyone:- No
Op:- but he really wants to
Everyone:- still no
Op:- I’m gonna do it anyway

Why bother asking if you was going to do what you wanted to anyway?

This.

The fact he hates school is MORE of a reason to send him on his birthday rather than less in my opinion

Its legitimising 'justifable' reasons not to go to school. He will push boundaries on this and look for more excuses rather than dealing with the problem.

You are also looking for others to justify this. That also is an abdication of responsibility. Just get on with it, if you are determined to do it, but don't expect others to go along with the justification.

dottiedaisee · 06/03/2021 10:19

Definitely no . When my children were at school they enjoyed seeing their friends and giving out sweets at the end of the school day .

caringcarer · 06/03/2021 10:21

No absolutely not. I have never been to school or worked on my birthday as end of August and I worked as a teacher. But I was just lucky, your child is not.

Goatinthegarden · 06/03/2021 10:21

@Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons

I’m surprised by the responses- he’s only 7 it’s not exactly an exam year Confused

As a child my DH was allowed to have his birthday off school if he wanted to - he was head boy, went to Uni etc so it didn’t damage his educational life.

It’s a very different situation. You have given a day off to a child who is clearly successful and engaged in school. OP has a 7 year old who hates school and wants to avoid it. Speaking from experience, parents allowing days off instead of trying to resolve a problem can quickly spiral into having a school refuser.
Forgetaboutme · 06/03/2021 10:21

Btw can I just say. Most of my colleagues and myself take our birthdays off. Really surprised at the people acting like no adult takes their birthday off. Its very common in my workplace.

QuitMoaning · 06/03/2021 10:21

@Dutchesss

For those saying no, would you go to work on your birthday or book the day off? I'm lucky both my children's birthdays fall in the summer holidays so I haven't had to think about it.
I have taken a day off when it was a significant birthday (40th for example) but not for any others. However I get 4 weeks not 13 weeks holiday and I can choose.

To the OP, make a celebration day at the weekend. You can say your birthday is actually Thursday (or whatever) but your Celebration Day is Saturday.

Lots of people have had a bad year, I know of several celebrating significant birthdays in lockdown instead of celebrating with friends and extended family as you would usually

ShutUpAlex · 06/03/2021 10:22

Yes, mine always have their birthdays off. My boss gives me my birthday off too.