[quote WhirlingGerbil]@GreenlandTheMovie To put my comments in context, I haven't read all the thread. You are probably utterly fabulous in real life, but your comments, the ones I've quoted, are breathtakingly entitled. To put my comments in context, I worked in probate for 10 years, watched people bicker and backstab and do the most horrendous things to each other, all over money.
The waiting for your inheritance comment was out of line. I apologise. Nevertheless, you clearly feel some sort of entitlement to that money, at least a small part of it, whereas even morally, you really don't have any.
I always found it incredibly sad watching what perceived slights - usually over money - do to families.
On the other hand, some people really do just have arseholes for parents, so there's that too.[/quote]
Thank you for your apology. I am always upset like this after I've visited my parents, hence low contact.
It really is quite the opposite from which you imagine that applies to me. I expect no inheritance - I fully expect that the house is either re-mortgaged or it will be spent on nursing home fees. I have a full time professional job and run a small business. I'm actually very anti-inheritance, or at least I think IHT should be much higher, and I cannot abide people who live their lives, hanging around their parents waiting for them to drop - of course it happens.
I've worked throughout the pandemic, and your comment reminded me so much of another that I received on social media, about how I should "go and work in a hospital" when I pointed out that most people under 50 need not worry about covid. I had just worked late that day. I do wonder where people think that full time workers are going to actually fit in all their suggested extra jobs into, or whether their employers will be happy if they do.
I'm actually also really cross about your comment that I "clearly feel some sort of entitlement to that money". Without wishing to boast, I don't need my parents' money. I simply find lavish spending on consumer items, which are often traded in for more expensive versions, galling to watch in practice.
It is actually my parents who constantly ask me about wills and inheritances and got involved in disputes over my grandfather's farm. DM doesnt speak to any of her siblings as a result of the will. They're not arseholes, but they are very selfish people. It is one of DF's favourite little tricks to suddenly start talking about how I shouldn't expect to be left anything, right in the middle of an otherwise pleasant conversation at the dinner table. He hasn't worked since he was 50 and he is a very lazy, entitled, chauvanistic man. DM is better, but neither of them would put themselves out for anyone else and they have always been like that.
And no, there was no private education for me, and university wasn't funded either. I got no house deposit, no wedding paid for, no car bought - I'm not complaining, because I think easy inheritance makes people lazy and unambitious, simply pointing out that you could not be more wrong in your assumptions in this scenario, and that its really hurtful to read your comments.
Since you also work in the law, you will know that its advisable to stick to facts, rather than making things up. I do realise that dealing with that sort of stuff every day probably leaves you feeling a bit like I do after I've visited my parents, so perhaps you will have a bit more sympathy from those of us who have actually had the gumption to remove ourselves from those circumstances and make our own way in the world.