Dh left out of will.

[MummypigDaddypig]

My Dh is feeling abit blue and sad.

He was really close to his grandad who sadly passed away in December. A few times within the last few years grandad has announced that Dh will be sorted once he dies and that he’s a “half a millionaire” he would joke, and that he’s refusing to
Leave money to MIL. His reason for not leaving money for MiL is because he bought her house and paid for her first wedding plus she left her second husband for someone else and he wasn’t happy. He told her and us that he had taken her out the will because “she had enough from Me” - his words. When mil was told his she went absolutely crazy, screaming down the
Phone at us etc saying her life is over.. She always said “when my dad dies, I will be sorted”.
Dh isn’t close to his mum at all and spent most of his childhood and teenage years with his grandad, he was the apple of his eye and so much so that Dh worked in the same industry, they spent many fond hours talking about work and mutual interests.

Today we found out that Dh isn’t named as a beneficiary. He is really shocked and upset. I feel so sad for him.
Obviously we completely know it’s his money to do as he wishes. But we would rather have nothing if it meant his mum didn’t get it. She’s not a very nice person.

He messaged her and said that he wasn’t in it etc and she just replied that “it’s dads money to do as he wishes”, I’m 100% sure she’s been left it all.

My DM's brother, unmarried, no children, always told her she would have his house after her days. She always made an effort to visit him and especially when he was in hospital with cancer. When he died I obtained a copy of the Will to find out that he had left his house to a distant cousin and all his money to a fucking window cleaner in his 20's .

My DM always wondered why her brother wore clothes "like Michael Portillo".

So Grandad was a racist as well as an emotional blackmailer. Nice!

How is it racist? Because she is being used by a very young man who doesn’t even live here?

@MummypigDaddypig

I’m not sure if this is relevant and it’s outing but With mils second marriage she left her husband for a lot younger man from Pakistan and grandad was worried that “his hard earned money was going to end up in Pakistan”.

She seems to spend a lot of money on this young man.

Wow. He’s her husband. Where he is “from” is irrelevant, why would you even post that.

Honestly I’d really think before I post if I was you, you’re not coming across well now.

If he’s not in thr will you need to accept you’re not getting the money. Past that it’s none of your business. And I say “your” because this is clearly more about you wanting it, and less about your sadness for your husband.

He isn’t her husband.. she left her second husband for him.

@MummypigDaddypig

He isn’t her husband.. she left her second husband for him.

Ok partner. Where he is “ from” is not relevant.

Honestly stop getting all up in this woman’s business about how she spends her money, it’s nothing to do with uou at all.

@MummypigDaddypig

How is it racist? Because she is being used by a very young man who doesn’t even live here?

Yes. Those last 5 words.

@MummypigDaddypig

I’m not sure if this is relevant and it’s outing but With mils second marriage she left her husband for a lot younger man from Pakistan and grandad was worried that “his hard earned money was going to end up in Pakistan”.

She seems to spend a lot of money on this young man.

And? She can spend her money on whoever she likes. You are coming across very judgemental.

Just check DH isn't in the will by giving the right name. And move on.

@MummypigDaddypig

I’m not sure if this is relevant and it’s outing but With mils second marriage she left her husband for a lot younger man from Pakistan and grandad was worried that “his hard earned money was going to end up in Pakistan”.

She seems to spend a lot of money on this young man.

No, it’s not relevant What your mil did or how her father felt about it doesn’t matter. The will matters, that’s all

I think if your husband has been left nothing then he can rightly be upset/disappointed that his GF lied to him, but try not to think too much into it beyond that, or he will begin to question the whole relationship & how much he really meant to his GF.

I think your DH needs to accept it at this point.

I have a relative who has always been a bit money obsessed, who now has reached old age and he loves to boast about his wealth and who will inherit it. He even let slip and told me he likes the feeling it gives him! So basically it is a little power trip over people, maybe driven by fear of loneliness. You have to take the promises with a pinch of salt.

Who are the executors of the will?

The solicitor is.

He emailed last night so waiting to hear back.

Your DH gave the wrong name and the solicitor didn't discuss any further and you're surprised? Massive drip feed!

It's obvious what your DH needs to do

God I just hate all these grabby "it should have been mine" posts. It's amazing how the only people entitled to inheritance are the ones who think they deserve it (i.e. almost everyone) and that the people who actually got it are undeserving due to their many character flaws. Nasty and grabby. And possibly an explanation as to why they didn't get let anything.

I come from one of the Nordic countries where it's against the law to write your own children out of your will.
I find it baffling that in the UK you can disinherit your own children. This creates nightmare scenarios like the OP describes where grandparents use their inheritance to gain a sense of power.

My mil is quite wealthy and always talks about her inheritance trying to keep her family on their tippy toes. Over the years me and my dh have got good jobs and are doing well financially without the need for her money, I think she preferred it when we were less well off and she had the power of money over us.

Any news?

All that matters is what your dgf put in his will. Everything else is irrelevant.
Your mil can do as she wishes. Get over it.
The only q is what is in the will. Until you accept that you’ll stay bitter.

@MummypigDaddypig

She’s now posting stuff on social media about how people are jealous and bitches

Wow, and her daughter-in-law is posting on social media about how wrong it is that her awful MIL is getting the money that they deserve to get. I wonder where MIL got the impression that people are jealous and bitches....Hmmm. Could it be because it is true?

I think people are being quite harsh, isn’t it a known fact that older women with money are quite often preyed upon by younger men, often from abroad? Happened to one of my mum’s friends, she was absolutely taken for everything she had by a young man she met on holiday in North Africa. It happens to men as well with younger women. I know this may well be nothing to do with OP’s MIL’s situation but I’d be concerned if it was my MIL, I don’t think that would make me racist

I have an family member with no children who is a millionaire. She tried to control everyone with her promises of how much she’ll leave to whoever.

I’m entirely uninterested and told her I don’t want anything. It’s a way of controlling people.

Kind of agree with ☝️

@Blueeyedgirl21

I think people are being quite harsh, isn’t it a known fact that older women with money are quite often preyed upon by younger men, often from abroad? Happened to one of my mum’s friends, she was absolutely taken for everything she had by a young man she met on holiday in North Africa. It happens to men as well with younger women. I know this may well be nothing to do with OP’s MIL’s situation but I’d be concerned if it was my MIL, I don’t think that would make me racist

You're right, but I'm not getting the impression that the concern is for the poor MIL being fleeced.

I can see why OP is upset though. I know one shouldn't be but I can see why.

@Maverick197 same. We don't have testamentary freedom like here where I come from. There are law prescribed reasons to disinherit a child. Only few are acceptable. Basically most people just die intestate and the inheritance is normally split after.

@DrSbaitso yes I don’t think that’s the main concern either you’re right. Seems like the grandad was concerned about it though, and I don’t think it’s massively problematic of him to not want money he has worked for to end up benefitting a family he has never met in a country he has no connection to