Reasons my DH may end up under the patio...

[PringleMcDingle]

My top three...

1. He brushes his teeth with so much toothpaste that it ends up frothing and foaming everywhere. To wipe away this completely ridiculous amount of excess paste he always wipes his mouth on FRESH BLOODY TOWELS.

Every towel in our bathroom is covered in toothpaste. I swear on the odd occasion I've left something like pyjama bottoms on the radiator in there, he's pasted those too.

1. Instead of putting tea bags in the bin (which is right next to the kettle), he'll just leave them on the side or in something like a pan that's waiting to be washed by the sink. Why? Can someone, anyone, explain that to me?

1. Always asks me where certain items of clothing are without looking in his wardrobe. Or even worse, will ask me if he has any socks/underwear... Before just going to the sock/underwear drawer. I don't keep an inventory of sock availability... CHECK THE DRAWER.

So there, if you see me on the 9 o'clock news, you'll know that it was justified.

@Harls1969

Oh god: Leaves toothpaste around the sink. Walks past clean laundry rather than taking it upstairs. Leaves several glasses and a mug rinsed on the draining board and never puts them away. Never thinks to do any cleaning. Keeps putting rubbish in a full bin rather than empy it. Leaves dirty dishes etc on the worktop above the dishwasher rather than putting them in the dishwasher. Leaves trainers on the floor in the hall rather than putting them in the hideously expensive shoe storage under the stairs. Can't sit on the sofa without messing up the cushions and throws and doesn't straighten them after. Thinks pulling the duvet up a bit constitutes bed making and doesn't notice that his pillows are the wrong way round (plain on top instead of patterned). Walks around the house in dirty shoes and never cleans the floor. The list goes on. But, despite that, he's a keeper for lots of other reasons.

Yes to all of this as well

Taking the toilet roll out of the bathroom so he can wipe his nose, or something in the kitchen and never putting it back.

Every time I go to the loo there is no fucking toilet roll 🤬

This is going to be less of a patio foundation and more of a plague pit!

We actually did report his sodding golf club as stolen. It wasn't. The grass I refuse to cut cause I refuse to do everything was so long he thought we'd been burgled.

A nice tip is : set up your DP’s filthy corner in each part
Of the house and throw there anything that he leaves messing around in your space. That’s his dirty filthy corner.
Mine is his comfy chair in the living room. Every cup, clothes, packaging or any crap that he leaves anywhere goes on his chair to be cleared before he sits on it. If he throw somewhere it always end up going back to his chair. If he pxxx me off too much i dare to take it all and throw inside his car- that he loves.
Bedroom, same thing. Everything goes on his side of the bed, on his corner or tucked (kicked) under the bed for eternity.
Don’t change the toilet roll when it finishes ? He will end up without it next time he goes to the loo
Don’t clean after himself on the kitchen? There’s no dinner made for him next day..... and so it goes.... I’m not a fxxxxxx slave and am not paid to look after a man child .If He wants to be a freaking filthy go back to his Mother’s house.

We are getting a new patio and I joked (sure, joked..) that it would need to be at least 6 foot 7 to accommodate DH.

His worst habit is opening post and leaving the old envelope in random places around the house. It drives me insane. It’s never with the letter either. Just scattered somewhere for me to pick up and bin.

He also tidies up by moving stuff from one place to an entirely abstract other location. I reckon I could reconstruct his whole day just following the trail of shite he’s left out

@IsThePopeCatholic have a day off from being a miserable arse and get a sense of humour. We're all allowed a moan without dickheads like you patronising us.

I'll come help you dig the hole. It isn't the big issues that drive us to it, it's the little crap that keeps happening and happening and happening.

@BerniesMittens

This is going to be less of a patio foundation and more of a plague pit!

Yep the tired thing! Confirms with really loud yawns at 5 minute intervals. Arghhhhh
Then stays on his phone forever laughing at videos. Pisses me offff.

@sleeplessinthecountryside

My DH loads the dishwasher from the front back instead of the back towards the front. Is it weird that this really bothers me? 🤔

Dps house mate puts glasses on thier side in there? (Or worse pointing slightly up due to the rack slope)

They come out just half full of dirty water.

How can a 30 year old be that dumb, and also not work out the problem after the first time!?

I know why so many leave things on top of the dishwasher and not in it.

DH has been doing the dishes over lockdown and is now the dishwasher nazi

Anything I or the teens put in is wrong. It makes him seethe, and he keeps shouting: HOW HARD IS IT, cups on the left and glasses on the right!!! Or mainly he just shouts FFS! Every time he opens the dishwasher

Whereas we don’t see a problem with cups next to glasses. Or forks next to knives (not in separate compartments)

We are now so sure we get it wrong we leave everything on top of the dishwasher, as we get shouted at anyway

BrideOfBideford

His shit is everywhere in the spare room. The loft is crammed full of his shit. He has 4 sets of shelves full of his shit and it is so oppressive, I refuse to go in there. He attempts to sneak stuff into the kitchen to store it.

'Well, if you wanted to, you could empty out your sideboard and bookshelf with a door and it would free up some space'

Fuck off am I chucking out stuff I actually need so you can put shit in the living room as well.

Then there's the 'we don't need...' bollocks.

We don't need a new dishwasher. The plates are dunked in cold, oily water and stacked randomly in the cupboard.

My expensive pans have been left greasy and then had flames bake the grease onto the base. We don't need anything more than a poundshop pan. Oh, but can we replace the fifty quid pan he's used a sharp knife in because things have started to stick in it. Don't need more than a poundshop pan, mind. But that last one was OK if I like. Dont waste money on one, though.

We don't need decent food. Any old shite with a yellow sticker will do. Especially if it's beige or fucking pizza.

We don't need a vegetable with a meal. If we do (of course we fucking need vegetables), it'll be half a pound of frozen peas, the rest of the bag being left in the saucepan. A second vegetable would be bloody tinned sweetcorn. But only a teaspoonful of it. The rest has been left in another saucepan.

We don't need to eat right away. Yes we fucking do. I've been up since five and working. You've been in fucking bed all day and don't believe in food anyhow. I am not waiting until 10.30pm for you to get around to burning another fucking pizza because I looked slightly peeved at this.

We don't need new clothes. Have you looked at yourself? Have you actually looked at me at any point in the last five years? We need new clothes.

We don't need a toilet roll holder. Yes we do. I'm sick of them stacked on the towel rail or behind me when there is a roll holder on the wall in the normal place.

And why do used contact lenses get left in the sink, along with the packets the new ones come in?

Yes to the blinds/curtains one. He sits in the lounge in the morning, staring at his laptop, with the blinds down and lights on - this is when it is broad daylight outside. It annoys me so much - I love light, sunshine and fresh air!

He won't use a tooth mug - he puts his head under the tap and slurps and spits water all over the sink and the surround. Just why?

Empties the dregs of tea/coffee into the kitchen sink, but doesn't wash it away, so the plughole gets stained brown. I have asked him and asked him not to do this.

Doesn't understand that everything has a 'place' in the kitchen, and just puts things anywhere.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup, it really sounds like you can't stand him (and I don't blame you)- I know this is a lighthearted thread, but you surely can't go on like this?

Some of these posts are truly breaking point in the relationships. Behind all the individual and maybe niggly annoying behaviours is fundamentally a basic lack of respect, who should one person clear up, wipe up, pick up after another, are they inferior in some way. It's upsetting to read hear what some put up with. I get that sometimes it's just easier to do it yourself rather than start a war, but life is too short, and time is too precious and I will not be a doormat, or dogsbody, battle lines need to be drawn, divorce has happened over less lazy annoying behaviour, throw down the gauntlet and stand up to behaviour which diminishes your self worth.

I wish he'd learn to stack things largest on the bottom. As an intelligent man how difficult is it to put dinner plates on their own shelf and not in side plates? Or the colander in the bowl (set) they came in rather than on the frying pans, with another frying pan on top? (Smallest on the bottom of course).

I'm a little deaf and if he's turned away from me I sometimes can't hear him, if I ask him what he'd said he really snaps at me.

He doesn't like me moving round, to get something from the kitchen, or turn the oven down for instance

On the other hand I'm always mislaying things, but if I ask, "Have you seen...? Don't get up." He invariably sighs gets up and searches. I do wish he wouldn't, I wasn't asking him to.

Someone's coming today to quote for laying the patio. I might ask him to make the foundations extra deep....

Well said @Ineke

Maybe lockdown has just made things more acutely felt, roll on June 21st!

Can I join in: he's 62 years old and still chews chewing gum all the time like he's a teenager. It's revolting and makes me want to just take a bread knife to his head..

[quote BitOfFun]@NeverDropYourMoonCup, it really sounds like you can't stand him (and I don't blame you)- I know this is a lighthearted thread, but you surely can't go on like this?[/quote]
That's the thing - I actually like him. What I hate is the 'We don't need anything nice/I won't ever throw away anything that's fucked/I will fuck up anything nice that you get' stuff. And his issues around food.

I cannot be doing with his 'We're not worthy' bollocks. Because I am. He is.

I defend the sanctity of the living room, the bedroom and one of the bathrooms.

There's also a whole other rant about how everything electrical in the house works fine until he lays his hands on them and they go pouff or he loses the bits that make it work and hides it. Plus the 'we don't need to spend much on a replacement if we even need a replacement'.

What I need is for his work to actually reopen properly rather than refuse to furlough them and keep them going in for just 12-17 hours a week on part time pay. Then things will be better, financially and, for me, at least, it will help keep my sanity.

@Shinyletsbebadguys

My DP is generally quite well behaved as a rule. However he hasa bloody obsession with shutting every single door every single second its open.

Yes dear I know what the heating bill is but the heating is not on and I've been out o the room for 10 seconds and was coming back with a cup of tea and water for the dc and now I have to aviate getting an old stuck door open with the dog dancing around my feet because you've bloody well shut her out as well.

Honestly he is at the point where he practically races behind me to the door.

Twice he has shut me in a room not realising I as there ...this week!

Yes I know I can open the doors but like most women I am always carrying something to attempt something within the region of tidying up ( which is the equivalent at the moment of dropping a teardrop full of water in a cavern the size of the mariana trench....but at least I try....when I donate to navigate three shut doors with hands full (that were open 2 minutes before when I walked through them....

OMG I have one of these. The toddler now goes around shutting doors too. And lights!!!! What the hell is the obsession with lights and doors??? I now switch off lights in rooms he is in when it's daylight outside saying 'we don't need lights, there's a natural big ball of light outside, darling' It's definitely working.

Lol
Simple yet annoying things .

My main one is walking past things that shouldn't be on the floor.
We've got a 2yr old DS - he might drop a biscuit on the floor and DH will just walk past it.
He will also gather and washing - DS's (7 and 11) love to drop clothes on floor; DH will gather them and just chuck them on the stairs. Then repeatedly walk past them when he goes up. Does not occur to him to take them up and put them in the washing bin.
Towels on floor in bathroom - fallen off the hook - leave them there!
Sofa cushions on floor - leave them there.

I totally appreciate that I am a SAHM and housework is my responsibility BUT - it wouldn't kill him to help out ever once in a while. Even just a little bit. Especially considering he's not doing his 2 hour commute while working from home.