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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To petition for the eradication of Javelin Arse

184 replies

LongPauseNoAnswer · 02/03/2021 12:12

I don’t know who to petition. The government? God/ess/deity, the EU?

I’ve just been to the supermarket and I was looking forward to browsing being outside my house for an leisurely hour or so when I got the worst Javelin Arse I’ve ever experienced. It literally winded me. With nowhere to sit down I ran around sweating and nauseated and ran back to the car to sit it out. It should be high on the list of afflictions to be eradicated (lighthearted obviously)

YABU - Woman up and deal with it
YANBU - It’s the worst pain

OP posts:

sonnysunshine · 02/03/2021 23:30

God it is awful. Literally fainted once. I now force my waist down to relax. It briefly intensifies but quickly subdues. I then usually shout "fucking cunt" at the world.

GirlLovesWorld · 02/03/2021 23:30

@ThatchersCold

I’ll happily sign.

With dc2 my labour pains were solely, and exclusively, hours upon hours of the worst javelin arse imaginable. No one should have to go through that.

Christ. Your name gets too billing on the petition

Changemaname1 · 02/03/2021 23:32

Javelin arse 😂😂😂 never heard I called this but shall do so from now on

Also , oww

Deadringer · 02/03/2021 23:35

@MamTDM

God, I hate it. It tends to strike in the middle of the night for me and wake me up, and the only way I can relieve it even slightly is by pushing hard with those muscles, which I wouldn't risk doing in bed, so I end up sitting on the loo in the cold until it passes. Even then it quite often comes back as soon as I go back to sleep. I had it the other night so badly that I felt faint. Apparently it's technically called proctalgia fugax. If I have it during the day it's much more brief and stabby but at night it's awful.

This is what i experience, i have had it now and again for years and still get it occasionally post menopause. It can last anything from about 10 minutes to about 40 minutes, it's a squeezing, cramping, sickening sort of pain, nearly always at night. Javelin arse is different, it is a sudden, very sharp pain up the bum, it happened to me for the first time the other day, it"s awful but at least it is over quickly.

Thelnebriati · 02/03/2021 23:41

I googled 'proctalgia fugax' and got this;

''Proctalgia fugax, a variant of levator ani syndrome, is a severe, episodic pain in the regions of the rectum and anus. It can be caused by cramping of the levator ani muscle, particularly in the pubococcygeal part.''
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proctalgia_fugax

So there you have it. 'Javelin arse' in a nutshell /s

oatmilk4breakfast · 02/03/2021 23:43

Yes, endometriosis

duffmcstockings · 02/03/2021 23:45

I just tried to change my username to JavelinArse. But someone got there ahead of me . I'm just going to see if FannyDaggers is us up for grabs.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 02/03/2021 23:52

@starfishy yes, an extreme case of it was how my contractions started.
I get a similar pain when my bowel moves something around a corner at speed but there's a difference to JA which definitely feels like a broomstick being kicked up there.

SionnachGlic · 03/03/2021 00:06

I've never heard of it. Thanks be to all that is good & holy. From the posts, it sounds horrendous...but I am loving the posts! But thank my lucky stars I have no idea what ye are all talking about...I am afraid to google Javelin Arse in case there is a picture ?!

AndIquote · 03/03/2021 00:07

Running, sat on the bog too long and menses seem to be the popular causes. It can be relieved by sitting on something lumpy (I googled it and a man found relief sitting on his fist!) so here are my finds - A tennis ball if at home, if out running -a bench or wall corner, if camping a tin of beans.

Broonzma · 03/03/2021 00:15

I think you’re talking about proctalgia fugax.
The most intense pain.
Was recommended to have a puff on a ventolin inhaler as it will relax the muscle.
It worked for a friend, but I haven’t had to use it yet.

MorriseysGladioli · 03/03/2021 00:19

I was in a shop years ago and politely gasped "oooh!" as my shopping was being scanned.
The woman asked if I had just had a shooting pain right up my bumhole, so I guess my face must have given it away.

SunshiningBetty · 03/03/2021 00:25

Apparently the proper name for it is proctalgia fugax. You’re welcome

Firebird83 · 03/03/2021 00:38

It’s awful. I usually get when on my period. I’ve had it in the supermarket as well! DH thinks it’s amusing!

NiceGerbil · 03/03/2021 00:46

I dont get it which is lucky.

I do get the shits something chronic.

If we need to petition anyone it's the pharmaceutical companies to do some fucking research and find a way to make it better! I mean they'd make loads of money.

By the way. I heard that Viagra was originally created and tested to help with PMS. it worked really well but also. Hard ons. So they said write wow forget the PMS erections is where it's at!

I hope that's not true but I bet it is..

Malteser71 · 03/03/2021 00:48

I had this once in front of a patient. In a three hour assessment.

LookingGlassMilk · 03/03/2021 00:55

I get this. Proctalgia fugax. It only started a couple of years ago, after I had a sigmoidoscopy. The timing could be just a coincidence, but I blame the sigmoidoscopy for disturbing things.
I get the pains mostly during my period, but also in the run up to it and around ovulation. It's awful, I've nearly vomited with the pain, and it's horrible when it happens when driving.

Caiti19 · 03/03/2021 01:14

This thread has me in tears of laughter. I have never experienced this. It sounds horrendous.

Hexinthecity · 03/03/2021 01:14

As a PP has mentioned this can be a symptom of endometriosis, if it’s increasing in frequency and pain level please get it checked out, especially if it’s linked to your periods or ovulation and bowel movements are painful on your period. I speak from experience!

AutoIncorrect · 03/03/2021 01:15

This case has struck me down with the horrors, I now live in fear of the ungodly experience of Javelin arse.😫

MorriseysGladioli · 03/03/2021 01:18

It literally makes you jump to try and get away from the pain when it strikes.

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 03/03/2021 02:13

It is a relief to a) know it has official name and b) know it's probably not going to kill me.

I did once try to broach the topic with a group of female friends, and they all very politely pretended not to hear me, so I guess it doesn't happen to everyone.

I don't have periods (Depo shot) but still get it occasionally. I'm going to try some of these suggestions next time.

SD1978 · 03/03/2021 03:00

I've always described it more like a deep, continually, aching cramp- I never realised so many women have it. Usually it's a middle of the night, when I'm tired thing. Rocking on the edge of the bed does bugger all- but I have to feel as if I'm doing something.

isthismylifenow · 03/03/2021 05:23

I'm racking my brain trying to think if I've had it since my menopause, and I don't think I have

LakieLady, oh you would know if you have.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 03/03/2021 05:47

@MorriseysGladioli

I was in a shop years ago and politely gasped "oooh!" as my shopping was being scanned. The woman asked if I had just had a shooting pain right up my bumhole, so I guess my face must have given it away.

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