To petition for the eradication of Javelin Arse

[LongPauseNoAnswer]

I don’t know who to petition. The government? God/ess/deity, the EU?

I’ve just been to the supermarket and I was looking forward to browsing being outside my house for an leisurely hour or so when I got the worst Javelin Arse I’ve ever experienced. It literally winded me. With nowhere to sit down I ran around sweating and nauseated and ran back to the car to sit it out. It should be high on the list of afflictions to be eradicated (lighthearted obviously)

YABU - Woman up and deal with it
YANBU - It’s the worst pain

Omg it's the worst!! I've had it happen randomly for years but I never realised it was a "thing" that other women experienced too. That is until recently when I read it being mentioned online. I will happily sign your petition

I think a parliamentary petition to investigate the condition and remedies. I am imagining the Health Secretary having to introduce the debate!

I get it five miles into a run typically.

Omg I get this but in my perineum... does that still count?!

It has a name! Not sure that makes it less painful, but... it has a bloody name! or maybe two!

I came here to ask the same question. Does this cover javelin fanny?

And is a gendered issue?

[runs --->]

For a moment I was thinking "What the heck?“ but now I realise exactly what you mean.
I would definitely sign your petition!
The worst is when it happens around other people and you have to try and act normal!

I used to get it loads in teens and 20s but didn't in 30s and 40s

Where do I sign? I used to get this when I had the coil in and was attempting to poop during my period! Jesus! Never felt pain like it. It was the reason I had the coil taken out. Very infrequent now, thank fuck!

Thanks @GirlLovesWorld. Can't say I've ever experienced it so far. But it's probably one of the few places I don't have pain! Sounds awful.

I never knew it had a name, i thought i was only one who had experienced it! But yes the pain and it takes your breath away.

Yes I have this on my period! The worst though was when I was in labour. Every contraction was like being stabbed up my bum!
Always thought it was related to endometriosis.

Middle of the night for me too. I can remember the utter terror of the first time it happened to me, it’s horrendous. I’m only twigging now that it might have been linked to the coil! I think men can get it too, though.

OMG! I’m SO glad it’s not just me! I’ve cried in the middle of Tesco because of JA! It’s utterly horrid!

I’ll sign!

Ooooh, I haven't had that for a few years. It's vile. YANBU!

I will sign OP! I don't get it quite as bad as some of you, but have had it on occasion and also do a bit of a robot move to try and get rid of it.

I did once have trapped wind that was so bad my DP nearly called an ambulance! I never really complain about pain/illness even when I'm suffering from an almighty hangover, have a stinking cold (remember those?!) or have period pains like someone's ripping out my womb with a hot poker, so for him to see me doubled up in pain and whimpering scared the shit out of him!

@LongPauseNoAnswer if you can get them to do a two for one deal and include trapped wind too, I'd be grateful - ta!

Yes men can get it too but I think women get it more frequently because woman parts and hormones. FUN.

I get it also have loads of endometriosis in my pouch of douglas possibly involving bowel (awaiting further tests) which is apparently causing it.

I nearly leapt out of my seat the first time it happened! It rarely happens thank god but I do get sharp pangs of javelin vagina at my time of month sometimes. Please god let them never strike together at once.

I used to get this quite often and pretty bad from my mid 40's onwards. Then it was discovered I had become really intolerant to gluten, so stopped eating it. Interestingly enough the Proctalgia fujax stopped too.
Then, through lack of will power I began to eat gluten again. A bit here, a bit there, wouldn't hurt, would it!
But oh, it bloody well did. Within a few weeks I had one of the most horrendous attacks ever, keeping me in bed for 3 days because I just couldn't stand up. It took nearly 2 weeks to feel fully better.

I have never eaten gluten since that time and have never suffered it since. For me, there is a definite link.

I will definitely sign your petition - where is it?!!

I get this too but only when on my period. Like some PPs, I’ve heard it’s common with endometriosis.

@BaggoMcoys

I remember being so glad when I first read about javelin arse on Mumsnet as I finally had a name for it!

Does strike me as odd that so many mumsnetters have it and know what it is, but it doesn't seem widely/commonly known or talked about.

But what is it?

I'm scared now...

I sat down on the sofa once, taking a break from some DIY and was utterly convinced I'd somehow forced a screwdriver up my arse! It was so bad. DH leapt up from the sofa as if he too had Javelin Arse and hopped about, anxiously saying "what happened, what happened??" as I clawed at my rump, fully expecting to grasp a Black and Decker handle. Like all terrible cases with me, it immediately died away to nothing, leaving DH staring worriedly at me and glancing at my arse with trepidation.

It's weird, I haven't had it since giving birth either.

But once experienced, never forgotten. You just can't move. You have to stop dead, clench your teeth and grasp the nearest immovable object until it's passed.

Do not like. 😱