Was it my fault and do I replace them?

[Sexnotgender]

I do all the washing.

I repeatedly tell people to empty their pockets. DD17 didn’t take her apple headphones out and obviously they went through the wash.

Waiting to see if they still work once they dry out.

Should I have double checked? And should I replace them?

WHERE did you get that from exactly? All the OP said was that her daughter was obviously upset.

Where did I get what?

Not at all your fault! Have washed my daughter's headphones and it never occurred to me to feel guilty ! They were fine btw

Her fault.

Have you a warm airing cupboard? Put them in a bag of rice and leave them in there for a couple of days. Worked for us.

I bet she won’t do it again.
I tend to check pockets but equally I always tell my family to check their own pockets so I won’t accept responsibility for anything left in them.

I've ruined 3 pairs doing this.

@DenisetheMenace

Her fault.

Have you a warm airing cupboard? Put them in a bag of rice and leave them in there for a couple of days. Worked for us.

I don’t. I might put them near the dehumidifier though!

I would buy some new ones. I have 4 kids and I have done this twice. I don't think that's excessive. Accidents happen.

My iPod and Apple headphones went through a full wash cycle and then an hour in the tumble drier before I realised. They still worked. Don't know how. But yes, at this age, it's down to her not you.

I would give her some extra chores to do to earn the £19 to replace them and probably be a bit more generous with my rates of pay than usual.

Why does she need to deal with the consequences? Why does it need to be a life lesson for you? Why not just be kind and buy her a new set. Don’t you ever make mistakes? Don’t you ever just want someone to have your back and show you kindness if you do? Don’t you think this is the better example to set her rather than always making her deal with the consequences and making sure she knows even her own mother doesn’t have her back?

Because people who never ever face consequences tend to go through life making progressively bigger and bigger mistakes that mummy can no longer fix.

Mummy can replace the £19 earbuds. She cant replace the car when you park it on a hill and forget to put on the handbrake. She can't replace the house when it burns down and you lose everything.

She can't get you your job back when you are fired for making a big avoidable mistake.

Having her back is helping her learn the consequences of carelessness when all she loses is a set of £19 ear buds, instead of waiting until she's an adult and loses irreplaceable possessions, people, jobs or even her life or someone else's through carelessness.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

I would give her some extra chores to do to earn the £19 to replace them and probably be a bit more generous with my rates of pay than usual.

So you’d take your S eventeen year old. Who has health problems and is shielding, who can’t work because of it, who made a mistake in leaving her earphones in her pocket, and you’d make her work for pay for you to replace them? For nineteen quid. That’s what you’d do.

The lesson she’d learn there I can assure you would not be the one you wished to teach her.

Because people who never ever face consequences tend to go through life making progressively bigger and bigger mistakes that mummy can no longer fix

Exactly where did the op say she never ever faced consequences ? Why such a bitter bitter response? Did no one ever have your back? So you want to see others get some of the same?

@BLUNTNESS100
WHY DOES SHE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES? WHY DOES IT NEED TO BE A LIFE LESSON FOR YOU? WHY NOT JUST BE KIND AND BUY HER A NEW SET. DON’T YOU EVER MAKE MISTAKES? DON’T YOU EVER JUST WANT SOMEONE TO HAVE YOUR BACK AND SHOW YOU KINDNESS IF YOU DO? DON’T YOU THINK THIS IS THE BETTER EXAMPLE TO SET HER RATHER THAN ALWAYS MAKING HER DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES AND MAKING SURE SHE KNOWS EVEN HER OWN MOTHER DOESN’T HAVE HER BACK?

Because she was told to check her pocket and couldn't be arsed . Otherwise why would she ever bother checking her pocket because her mum will replace it free of charge. Mum paying £15 for something is kind .
What if next time it's her phone would mum be expected to shell out £100's to be kind because DD couldn't be arsed to check her pockets

she'l remember to check her own pockets in future. And hopefully do her own washing.

Otherwise why would she ever bother checking her pocket because her mum will replace it free of charge

Because she’s not an arsehole from what I can tell.

Do people really not help their family members when they have the means to?

I’ve told myself hundreds of times to check my pockets before I wash them. I’ve still had tissues in the pockets that have pissed me off with myself big time. I've also had a note or two over the years. How should I punish myself?

If as you say you can replace the earphones and your daughter isn’t stropping about it please do. I’m sure she’ll double check her pockets in the future

Because it's not a big deal for a teenager to do a couple of chores to earn 20 quid to replace headphones she's been told few times not to leave in pockets in the wash basket.

Teenagers should be doing some household chores anyway!

Do people really not help their family members when they have the means to?

Not when it was something easily avoided and the person is old enough to have looked after the item carefully themselves. As you grow up you learn to take responsibility for your own things. I broke something of mine through carelessness last week. My mother did not replace it for me.... because I am 35. As a teenager I damaged a pair of expensive trainers through carelessness. My mother didnt replace them, she'd warned me to take cars of them.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland did you then do without whatever you broke even if you could afford to replace it yourself to teach yourself a lesson?

As you say as you grow you learn to take responsibility. This seems to be the first time she’s made a mistake. She’s 17 not 35

What was the carelessness you did to your trainers? Is is something many of us do several times like leaving something in your pocket in the wash?

I’ve washed my dc ear phones a few times, they still worked! I don’t check pockets , my dc both know this ( they are older teens) and mostly do their own washing now. Over the years I have washed a few fivers/tens and they seemed to come out ok too!

My DD has a remote control for her bedroom lights. I gathered it up with her bedding and washed it It still works! Hope the same applies to your DD’s headphones. If not, and you can afford it, buy her some new ones and have a laugh with her about it. Hopefully she’ll realise not to do that again.

By the way, I’ve just lost a second credit card out of my jeans pocket in 2 months, and I’m 54 and should know better!

This thread is very sad, the people who think as no one was kind to them, then no one else should be given help either, or that if you’re kind to someone once, your own child, then they will take advantage of you and expect it for ever more. And bitterly urging the op not to help her child.

Treating our kids, irrelevant of age, with love and care and supporting them is how to show them how to be decent human beings.. who in turn are able to determine when to show kindness v what needs to be a life lesson.

Not your fault but is feel bad if she's having a hard time - however she needs to take responsibility

Phone screen - tell her to get a glass sticky cover, they're great!

I'm a sucker so I'd probably but headphones and say it's part of her birthday present if it's soon

Did they work OP? I washed my husband’s apple headphones and they amazingly still worked! They looked lovely and clean to boot!