To feel weird about buying pre worn clothes

[unikitty08]

DC is starting nursery next month.

A few friends have told me how messy his clothes are going to get and not to send him in anything expensive.

I was talking to one friend about buying him a puddle suit and she recommended ebay.

She told me she buys a lot of her daughters clothes (especially for nursery) in bundles and they are “pre loved”

I was surprised about this as her daughter is always dressed in Next, Zara, Gap. Brands I would consider to be that bit more pricey.

When I was growing up, to buy second hand or use charity shops etc was a big no no.
It was viewed as though you didn’t have money or couldn’t afford nice things.

I don’t have this view of other people, particularly not now as an adult, but I do have this view of myself if I were to buy pre worn clothes.

I’ve had a look at some clothes bundles this evening and I’m shocked at some of the lovely things I could get, the puddle suit id seen for nursery, which brand new is £35, I can get pre worn worn for £5!

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or
a bit trampy.

I feel really envious now of the people that clothes shop this way, it would save me a fortune!

How can I get past my weird feelings?

I don't really buy many second hand things for myself unless I can see they're in really good condition. Kids wear clothes for about 5 mins before they're outgrown so I have no issues buying then for DS.

I never send him out in anything that doesn't look decent though. I want him to look looked after and loved. I'm able to get nicer things than I could afford new so in many ways he looks better than he would if I was against second hand clothing. It's also better for the environment as infrequently worn clothes aren't thrown away.

@Mylittlesandwich

I don't really buy many second hand things for myself unless I can see they're in really good condition. Kids wear clothes for about 5 mins before they're outgrown so I have no issues buying then for DS.

I never send him out in anything that doesn't look decent though. I want him to look looked after and loved. I'm able to get nicer things than I could afford new so in many ways he looks better than he would if I was against second hand clothing. It's also better for the environment as infrequently worn clothes aren't thrown away.

@Mylittlesandwich

That’s my concern, that he wouldn’t look decent.
But so many of these clothes I’ve seen look great in the pictures!

I buy 90% of my kids clothes on ebay. I can afford to buy them brand new but I feel like second hand is much better for the environment.

@MissMooMoo

I buy 90% of my kids clothes on ebay. I can afford to buy them brand new but I feel like second hand is much better for the environment.

@MissMooMoo

Please excuse my ignorance, why is it better for the environment?

I know what you mean, second hand when I was growing up always felt gross. But I think it's much more normalised now. Most of my kids' stuff has been 'pre-loved' due to us not having much money and having been donated loads of stuff from friends or local parents. I don't buy clothes for myself much but both me and DH probably get stuff 60/40 new/used. Mostly I find when I get stuff off eBay it arrives smelling much nicer than our clothes do

I go one step further. I get my clothes for free on Freecycle etc (as well as charity shops). And I have loads of nice clothes!

It’s better for that environment as you’re using clothes that already exist and so stopping from them going to landfill.
I think many people buy second hand these days, it’s seen as more economical and sustainable. There are still some who look down on it of course, but by and large and its very accepted.

unikitty08, because everything that is made, uses resources and energy. And has to go somewhere when it's discarded.

Clothes passing from person to person ensures that they are not thrown away (to be replaced by new) before they are anywhere near worn out.

I buy most things second hand for environmental reasons and I love vintage things. Clothes, furniture, tech, general things for the house etc.

Reduce

Reuse

Recycle

Example, today DS wore only second hand clothes. He had a nice rainbow Frugi long sleeve top. I picked it up on marketplace for £5 recently. He also had on some picalilly dungarees covered in little foxes, those were £8. He looked so cute, obviously it will depend on your tastes what suits you.
His whole outfit cost me £13. The dungarees new would have been £24ish. I get to dress him exactly how I want but affordable and he NEVER looks disheveled or scruffy.

Where I live it’s the wealthy who buy second hand and the poor who buy brand new.

YABU, nothing wrong at all with buying second hand clothes if they're still in great condition.
Also - pre loved?!
Is that the new knobby buzzword/euphemism, not heard that one before lol

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or
a bit trampy
That's a terrible description, hard up would have covered it.
There is big business in selling second hand name brand clothes online.
I live in a hard up area so usually pass them to a neighbour.
If it is not for you that is fine.
It is commonly known reusable items help the environment.

I don’t remember secondhand clothing ever being considered a “no no”. If anything, hand-me-downs were more common than they are today and it was common to also get hand-me-downs from parents’ friends’ older children as well as older siblings.

How would anyone know whether the clothing was brand new or used in order to judge you as poor or “trampy”? Most kids are pretty sticky and grubby within an hour or so of getting dressed, anyway.

You can get lovely stuff in bundles on eBay. Most of what my baby DD wears is from there. I can't bring myself to buy new when there's so much great stuff second hand.

Just buy this one puddlesuit. Put it on your son. Get on with your lives :-).

If you really can’t get over it, then it’s entirely your choice to go back to buying all new- but I bet you won’t care after the first couple of days

Do you also feel a bit trampy when you stay in a hotel and sleep in a bed that's been slept in 100's of times? Or when you eat in a restaurant and use their cutlery?

I doubt it, you probably feel you are doing something luxurious! Challenge your mindset and also look up sustainability it may help. I shouldn't be encouraging you really you may outbid me!

@Mockolate

Also - pre loved?!
Is that the new knobby buzzword/euphemism, not heard that one before lol

It’s all new to me, that was what my friend called it. Pre loved clothes

There are enough clothes in existence now for the next SIX generations. It takes THOUSANDS of galloms of water to make one t shirt. A l0t of clothes use foregin labour (read that as low paid and sometimes child labour). Non-organic means pesticides which are often bad for pollinators, especially if poorly regulated abroad. That's why it's bad for the environment.

Best way to get over it is f9nd s9mething you like, buy it, wash it and wear it as soon as you can before you can give in to the gross feelings. Once you've washed it and your child has worn it it will feel like "theirs".

And its addictive, my daughter was dressed virtually head to toe in John Lewis, Next, M&S, joules and Clarks, she looked immaculate and it was almost all second hand (only time she had new was gifts or if i was caught short out). X

After new clothes have been worn a couple of times and washed, how would anyone ever know they were bought new? So long as it’s clean, undamaged and fits, how would anyone looking at your child tell something was second hand? Especially after five minutes at nursery when it’s covered in paint or mud? I wouldn’t buy my child second hand leggings etc because I just don’t think they last but puddle suits for example often get little use and can last many children still looking completely fine. I’d rather buy a second hand, decent brand, properly waterproof puddle suit from say Polarn o Pyret than a brand new “showerproof” one from Tesco.

@Emeraldshamrock

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or a bit trampy That's a terrible description, hard up would have covered it. There is big business in selling second hand name brand clothes online. I live in a hard up area so usually pass them to a neighbour. If it is not for you that is fine. It is commonly known reusable items help the environment.

@Emeraldshamrock

It is a terrible description, but that’s what it would’ve been referred to when I was younger.
Especially in my school days. 😖

In the U.K. over 11 million items of clothing go to landfill every week. Madness. So wearing second hand is usually just wearing something that’s nearly new. You’ll find most stuff on eBay / Instagram preloved pages / Depop / Facebook marketplace is nearly in perfect condition and if it’s not the sellers state it and show pics. It’s just reusing / recycling instead of going to sit in a pile of rubbish as waste - when it’s perfectly usuable! Some preloved sites and even clothing sites now have a buy back schemes so you can send back the items for a voucher etc. Especially when kids grow out of stuff so quickly you’ll find they aren’t getting as much wear out of stuff in the same way adults do!

Have a look a Thrift+ for adults clothes too - they have high street brands but also designer and the money goes to charity. www.thrift.plus

@ComtesseDeSpair

How would anyone know whether the clothing was brand new or used in order to judge you as poor or “trampy”?

They wouldn’t, but I would. 😬

I think I’d judge myself 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think there’s a bit of snobbery attached depending how you grew up.
Second hand = bit poor, can’t afford to buy new, so you want to display how not poor you are.
These days it doesn’t matter- second hand means environmentally friendly and should be be done.
It’s a class thing.